Swine Flu Hysteria

The kids came in talking about swine flu today. Everyone is talking.

The principal got on the morning announcements and reassured everyone that we clean the desks every night with a 10% bleach solution. Also, she will not be shaking hands with kids for the time being, but bumping elbows instead.

There was a rumor in another 5th grade room about a parent having swine flu. Another parent called in wondering why the child was still in school. The principal made an announcement at lunch, reassuring the students that she contacted the person directly, and it was purely a rumor.

I had to stifle my giggling during all of this. It was difficult.

I made a few jokes with the teachers about swine flu. They didn't think it was very funny, and instead talked about all the cases in New York and New Jersey and even one in PHILADELPHIA! It's coming closer! They were very serious about it, and I kept trying not to giggle.

When they discussed how it is transmitted, I tried to start the rumor that swine flu is passed on by snorting, squealing zombies and I saw one signing in at the office. The rumor didn't get very far.

Then, one boy at a lunch table started screaming at the top of his lungs, "I HAVE SWINE FLU!!!!!!"

I really had to try not to giggle at that, because he got in quite a bit of trouble. But with everyone all serious and freaking out about it, all this mostly unreasonable mass hysteria, I really wanted to do the same thing.

All of this wouldn't be as funny if it was called something besides Swine Flu. Come on, how can you NOT laugh at that?

But I guess if I keep laughing about it, it'll come back to haunt me and I'll be one of the unlucky few in Pennsylvania. Guess I better get a hold of myself quick.

Now, just in case, where did I put that face mask?