well, i found another guy and watched him die, it wasnt exciting at all. it just said "your time has expired." oh well.

audrey is right, the guy already died, which led me to discover the little ticking clock is a farce. if you notice, the clock ticks about 3 times as fast as a normal clock - 3 of its seconds equal one of ours. this means the clock runs out a considerable amount earlier than when you actually die. so if you go by that clock, you can actually relax a little bit and take your time in doing the last things you have to do. but dont worry, i already emailed the guy about it.

last year, joe wallace dressed up as a pedophile for halloween. plaid flannel shirt, trucker hat, aviators, and a painted on fumanchu.
this year, joe wallace dressed up as michael jackson dressed as peter pan. black pants and coat, white glove, green hat and little dagger sword.
for some reason, joe wallace obviously has a fascination with child molesters. the scariest part of this is, he has substituted at an elementary school on several occasions.

with regards to the death clock linked below, noah and i found a guy who is gonna die tonight at midnight and we're gonna watch to see what happens when he dies. if you are a nerd like us and are interested in doing the same, here are his stats:
14
June
1972
male
sadistic
40
smoker
type that in at 11:59 and you're all set.

when you go to a small christian school and have nothing to do, you get excited about these things. it will definitely be the highlight of my week. besides sleeping every night.

this is pretty interesting. apparently im going to die on Tuesday, April 17, 2057. hmpf.

I hate (and God hates?) that Christ and Christianity are becoming (and have become):
A means for popularity
Fashionable
Formulaic
Trite
Feelings without thought
Thought without feelings
A philosophical discussion
Comfortable
Irreverent
Modern
Self-serving
An easy rhyme in a poorly written song
A best selling marketing ploy
Cliché
A routine and habit
Lacking God-given creativity
Lip service
Graceless
Love without judgement
Judgement without love
Misunderstood
Heartless
Near-sighted
A performance
Unbalanced
….the list goes on

(theological side note: by saying "christ is becoming" these things, i mean what christians are turning christ into, not that he is actually becoming these things, cuz if he were, that would pretty much make me an atheist. duh.)

honestly. this semester would be stress-free, enjoyable, and almost relaxing if i didnt have this stupid math class. and its not cuz of the work load, cuz lets be honest, i dont do any of the work. and its not because im getting bad grades, cuz lets be honest, all in all, im doing ok. its just that each day i dread going into that classroom and listen to the prof who enjoys making us feel stupid, doesnt care if we get it or not, doesnt care if we are frustrated or stressed out, and sit in the classroom with a bunch of math majors who dont need to take notes and understand all thats going on, and laugh at the stupid jokes the prof makes, and make even stupider jokes to accompany them, and i dread not being sure if i understand something or not, getting behind, trying to figure it out on my own, getting help from people that dont actually know what they're talking about but they think they do, spending all day thursday completing one lousy homework assignment and so on and so on and so on. i really do enjoy all my other classes...but this math class is sucking the life out of me.

but its really not as serious as im making it sound. but i do hate it.

tonight i skipped homework and went to beatniks coffee shop in marion with yoder and had the best cup of chai tea i have ever had in my life.

its a rotten feeling when you realize you dont really know a friend anymore and you cant really change it.

i just read a book from 1992. pretty recent book, right? thats what you'd think. but it's ELEVEN YEARS OLD! dang man...time flies.
furthermore, ee cummings is the bomb diggidy, hence, i posted one of his poems i just read.

o by the by
has anybody seen
little you-i
who stood on a green
hill and threw
his wish at blue

with a swoop and a dart
out flew his wish
(it dived like a fish
but it climbed like a dream)
throbbing like a heart
singing like a flame

blue took it my
far beyond far
and high beyond high
bluer took it your
but bluest took it our
away beyond where

what a wonderful thing
is the end of a string
(murmurs little you-i
as the hill becomes nil)
and will somebody tell
me why people let go

-ee cummings

i take great pleasure in throwing away post-it notes once the note has been accomplished.
and the new death cab for cutie is w-o-w-z-e-r-s wowzers.

"Ironically enough, they are often dismissed as 'too negative.' but this is always the case with apocalyptic expression. it tells us what we're trying with all our might to forget. it shows us the multifaceted ways in which we've become morally bankrupt and emotionally numb. we've fallen a considerable distance when we can only recognize such work as depressing. What could be more depressing that entertainment that serves as a king of soul anesthetic, broken cisterns that will hold no water, sentimental bubbles that distract us long enough to make us forget whatever it was that had us wondering (for one saving moment) what was wrong." -david dark, speaking about radiohead and other pop culture icons he refers to as "apocalyptic" in his book everyday apocalypse

and i just realized that that last sentence should really end with a question mark. but i think he got so caught up in his run on sentence that he forgot and ended it with a period. oh well.

my day shaped up pretty well after all, i think. this morning i woke up and was really tired cuz i didnt get to bed til 2:30 and havent slept much in the past week and i felt kinda sick and every one annoyed me a lot not for any particular reason but if someone looked at me it annoyed me and i was just really tired and cranky. but things got considerably better. i took a little nap and worked the desk and got some work done and stuff and things are shaping together quite nicely. so. yeah. thats all. goodnight.

just opened up an email with our math assignments for the week and im pretty sure im going to cry. it's 5 pages long. just for this week.

im back at school. the trip was ok.

a half hour into the trip, i was first in line to be cut off by two state troopers who proceeded to escort us for the next 5 miles going 15 mph while a clean up crew ahead cleared body parts of an obliterated deer that were strewn across the highway.
an hour into the trip, frustrated at going only 60 mph in the left lane, i chose to take a single lane "expressway" thinking express usually means fast, only to get stuck behind a truck going 50 mph.
an hour and a half into the trip, pedro the lion's control ends, insert the get up kid's something to write home about, and the cd player randomly stopps working.
3 hours into the trip, rain begins.
6 hours into the trip, i get stuck in a traffic jam with no apparent cause and go 4 miles in 40 minutes and the next 5 miles at an average speed of 45 mph.
8 hours into the trip, rain begins again.
keep in mind i had no music for all of this.
8 and a half hours into the trip, i tap the brakes and my passenger side airbag randomly deploys, scaring me half to death, and filling the car with a cloud of white powder causing me to not see anything for a few seconds until i quickly open up my window and air everything out.
i dont remember anything after 9 and a half hours due to drifting in and out of sleep. it really is amazing how well you can drive while sleeping.
i came back to school only to find that my paper didnt save to my disk correctly and now i am retyping it and staying up wayyyy too late.
it was an enjoyable fall break. i dont want to go back to school tomorrow.

i am home, and it is nice.
last night erica and i went to see lost in translation at a theater in allentown. the movie was pretty good, i think. it was really different but really intriguing and all in all i think i like it a lot. we were by far the youngest people in the theater and it was filled with old people who reaked of cheap aftershave and laughed at everything that wasnt very funny and all of this made the experience a little less enjoyable but it was still fun.
today i went to visit my grandparents and it was good to see them and spend time with the fam. taylor is bigger and funner than ever and logan is big too and quite cute. it was a good day.
there is something about old pennsylvania-dutch men that is heroically admirable...it is a breed of men who are hard working and honest and authentic and humble...a breed that will soon be lost and america will be worse off for it. but i am honored to be a part of the heritage and maybe i'll be able to carry on a little bit of that breed in my own way. i just wish i had the accent.
tonight erica had what i have lovingly entitled "a harvest party." it was mostly fun but kind of awkward due to a lot of different groups of people and it also included a mother-forced birthday party for someone who didnt really know anyone there (its a long story) which added to the overall awkwardness of the night and made everything quite funny. it was good to hang out with erica's friends from school and get to know them a little better though.
thats all for now...im gonna start writing a paper for this stupid prof who thinks its cool to assign papers over breaks.

the day is turning out well, thanks for asking.

before the throne of god above i have a strong and perfect plea
a great high priest whose name is love, whoever lives and pleads for me
my name is graven on his hands my name is written on his heart
i know that while in heaven he stands no tongue can bid me thence depart
when satan tempts me to despair, and tells me of the guilt within
upward i look and see him there, who made an end of all my sin
because the sinless savior died my sinful soul is counted free
for god the just is satisfied to look on him and parden me
behold him there the risen lamb, my perfect spotless righteousness
the great unchangeable i am, the king of glory and of grace
one with himself i cannot die, my soul is purchased by his blood
my life is hid with christ on high, with christ my savior and my god

new band of the ______ is karl blau cuz he's a genius and a super nice guy.

ok..so i am having a SERIOUS problem focusing today to get any studying done. it is definitely not a week for focusing.
the concert last night...well...im not sure what to think about it. but ive definitely come out of it even more disappointed with the christian subculture at large than i was before. we'll talk about it another time. i'll have a lot to say when i have the time. not like i dont have time now cuz all im doing is sitting here staring at a notebook. i think one of the problems is i have to go to the bathroom really really bad but we're not really allowed to leave the front desk area so i cant go but i really really have to so im trying to hold it for another 14 minutes but it's really distracting me.
what?

i sure hope it's the holy spirit telling me not to worry about this test, cuz if it is otherwise, im in trouble.

here's what burnttoastvinyl.com said:
Some bad news...Ester Drang were in an accident while on tour. Apparently, a car rear-ended their van/trailer, the trailer came off, and then a semi smashed the trailer. Quite a few things have been damaged or destroyed.

unfortunately, ester drang got in a pretty bad van accident and they wont be playing tonight. i guess 95% of their gear was damaged, which is really ashame, especially because they just started a 2-month tour. keep them in your prayers if you think of it...cuz they are a bunch of great guys that play some amazing music and deserve the best.
today is a stressful day. i think i did pretty poorly on my theater test last period. im really tired and my body is just worn out for some reason and just have a lot to take care of figure out.
but as soon as i make it to tomorrow at 3:00, things should be alright.
we'll chat later.

tomorrow marks the first day that we are not allowed to bring food or drink into my first class. look, education department...making sure el ed majors have 8:00 classes is one thing...taking away our coffee is a whole nother ball game.
looks like i got a ride hommmmmmmmmmmmmme!

the following conversation was held last night in the van driving to the music building. it was right after dinner, and i had just run all the way up to the fourth floor, and came all the way back down with my heavy bass amp. i was out of breath.
nate: i am so out of shape.
steve: me too man. you should come over to my floor every night, we all do push ups.
nate: oh, guys have been doing push ups on my floor for 3 years now and i refuse every night.
steve: really? well...you don't need to...you're a good looking guy already. ive got a really big gut though.
nate: ive got a big gut too! im known on the floor as the skinny fat man.
steve: really?? why?
nate: cuz i look skinny but im actually really fat. i just hide it well.
steve: i dont believe it.
nate: (lifts shirt and shakes stomach)
steve: holy cow!! that's awesome!! i never wouldve expected that!

my lava lamp has always been blue liquid with green lava stuff...but for some reason it's changed to green with yellow lava stuff and it's really quite ugly and really disappointing.

the nice people at the post office delivered my package of tassia's illustrations for my children's book to campus safety so i was able to get it today. timmy helped to scan them all and i think it will turn out just fine. the pictures are absolutely wonderful and i am quite pleased as i knew i would be. if any of you ever write a children's book, call tassia for the illustrations.
ive gotten absolutely nothing done today and im a little frustrated with myself but its ok. tonight at practice we had a little jam session with steve on the piano and it was the most beautiful slow moody grooving song i've ever heard or played in my life and it was like i was walking on clouds and i want to record it.
for some reason i am not stressed out about this week yet. i know that it will end eventually and that hopefully then i'll be able to spend time with the coolest and prettiest girl in the world and the cutest 3 year old and the cutest 9 month old i know and the best family ever and not to mention i'll get to see ester drang my favorite band tomorrow night and i'll finish my children's book that i am really quite happy with and if i sit back and enjoy all this it will actually be pretty pleasant when all is said and done.
i sent some mates of state CDs to rata and she was really happy and it felt good to make someone happy so this is me telling all of you to do something nice and surprising for someone else cuz it will make you feel good inside.
dang. where in the world is this good mood coming from. let's keep this up, god. thanks.
have a super duper week.

turns out the guys didnt see manute bol once tonight...what a scam!!
ive gotten a whole lot done tonight which is really great. woo.

yep, so, i definitely got ditched. but i think it was mostly a matter of miscommunication. but practice was really great and fun and im really glad for the opportunity to be playing with them. and now i'll get some work done. i just wish i had a car so i could go buy some paint and be artsy or something.
yeah.

well...i was planning on going to the penthouse pick-a-date tonight with bryce to see manute bol in his jockeying debut. but it looks as though bryce has stood me up.
i havent really been looking forward to it all day anyway...i dont really feel well and really have a lot of work to do...not to mention the missions week band im in is practicing tonight and it would do me well to practice with them. so i was thinking i'd be fine with not going. not to mention, according to the horse park site, manute bol isnt actually going to RIDE the horse. just wear a jockey outfit...or something...which is pretty lame.
but now everyone is gone and here i am and im bummed now. oh well. maybe bryce will surprise me and still come and we'll go late, but, we'll see. it may be for the best anyway.
heck, i could even watch the first game of the world series if i wanted to....two teams that nobody likes....

last night the IFC crew went to a nice italian restaurant in ft. wayne. i had some penne with sausage and peppers and onions and tomato sauce and some jalapenos for extra kick. it was really quite good and it was all paid for by the IFC budget which made it even more tasty. i ate my weight in really good bread, too. and the salad was also quite enjoyable. we came back to upland and played a word game and ate cake and ice cream and played with jenny's 8-week old puppy who is pretty much the cutest thing on the earth right now...except for when he starts pooping on the carpet. who knew such a little dog could make an entire apartment smell so incredibly bad.
no matter how late i sleep saturday mornings, i am still dead for the rest of the day.
im a little overwhelmed at the moment. my schedule consists of the following:
tonight, pick a date
tomorrow, band practice
monday, art as experience test, IFC show (waterdeep and ester drang) from 3-12, probably
tuesday, math test that i will most likely fail
the rest of tuesday, frantically scanning all of the pictures for my children's book and printing them out and completing the book which is due wednesday.
wednesday, student teaching application stuff due
wednesday, a math paper due
wednesday, hopefully leaving for fall break, but i need to find a ride, which is another complication to the craziness of these 3 days.
and then, my one prof has the guts to schedule a paper due the monday after fall break! who does that?!? you cant do that. its just not right.
so...how bout i go take a nap?

current spider count since Wednesday, October 15, 2003, 4:15:
5 living
1 dead

i finished my math homework already, which feels darn good. i got some help throughout the day that actually made some things clear and i actually understand it, and this is one of the first homework sets where i havent said "i dont get this, i give up, im turning it in no matter how wrong it is, i dont care"...i actually think i did everything right on this one. so we'll see.
this gives me time to go see TU american idol and watch blom make a fool of himself, and still have time to study for my literacy instruction midterm aftewards.
this thursday isnt so bad after all.
yoder killed a spider in his room just a little bit ago...that means we've got the PA's on our side now.
its a good night after all.

justin wont budge. he insists we are being babies about the spiders. he tried drowning the spider...but the thing CAN SWIM. he doesnt see the seriousness of the issue...but we shall overcome. we will continue to find spiders and deliver the evidence. and if he wont budge, we're going to the administration.
this is the type of spider we're dealing with.

OOOK THIS IS NO JOKE ANYMORE. we found a spider on the first floor of morris coming back from lunch...and this sucker was BIG. chris was describing it to his girlfriend and said in his excited but quiet north carolina african american accent, "it's the size of my big thumb!" which, is obviously bigger than his little thumb, so you know it's big. (and to see the full humor of chris saying that, you need to realize he is the biggest, muscular, jacked, ripped, chiseled man i know..seriously.) we caught him in a soda bottle and as soon as justin our hall director gets in, we're gonna show it to him, and he's gonna freak out cuz this one is the biggest yet. and its not like we're hunting for the things, we just see them crawling around, and if there are that many crawling around, think of how many are actually hiding!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is NOT cool!

i decided to drink my coffee black this morning and it's terrible.
i dont really like thursdays.

my saturday night plans.

cubs lost and even i'm depressed about it.
there is a spider infestation in morris hall...and not just tiny little spiders...we're talking the big hairy creepy crawly arachnophia wolf spiders...scott and i caught one earlier today and delivered him to our hall director...and kyle and i just found one IN THE ROOM...we freaked out and scott came in and we caught him...and i will deliver him to our hall director in the morning.
this is serious business.

sox win 9-6 in the 8th, cubs tie it up 3-3 in the 2nd, there is some good baseball on tonight and its not helping me understand my math homework.

so my child psych group has to report our findings to the class on why spanking is harmful and ineffective. one group member suggested skits and we all agreed that was a good idea and would score us some creativity points...but as we wrote out the skits we kind of found that spanking is a little bit questionable to act out and frankly im a little uncomfortable doing it. the same group member who suggested the skits suggested i pee my pants by pouring a cup of water on my crotch..and..well...i guess im gonna do it. this particular group member is a football player...so...that kinda explains a few things. but please note i have nothing against football players.
so i was coming out of the library and mark was coming into the library and we met outside and i gave him a hug cuz i never see him anymore and after a while he kept trying to let go and i kept pulling him back in and then being the comfortable goof ball he is he started trying to kiss my neck or something like that i wasnt quite sure but i didnt like it and then i was doing the letting go and he was doing the pulling back in and as he was trying to do whatever he was trying to do a guy came out of the library and was watching us the whole time and it was really quite embarrassing.

i really really like early day miners. especially on rainy days.

i changed my mind again...it is a nice day. i walked through the cold rain to dinner and it was simply lovely. the grey clouds were moving really fast with the wind and i just really enjoyed the cold horizontal rain pelting my face for some reason. call me retarded all you want, jamin...but...i like it.

ok..its not a nice day anymore.

i know no one will agree, but it's a beautiful day....cool and crisp...rainy but not too much...golden leaves falling....i may have to take a walk later on. or something.

if anyone has an old typewriter they dont want...let me know. i think i want one for some reason.

so...there's a possibility if i get home for fall break that i'll bring my car back to school. im really looking forward to that. just to be able to run errands when i want and do all of the on-impulse things i dream of doing. i think i'd like to find nice places and explore and take walks by myself...with a polaroid camera strapped around my neck...and a bible in my back pocket...and my journal. that'd be nice. so, i'd like to dream of that happening...but im sure it wont...and i'll just have my car sitting in the parking lot and me sitting in my room staring at my computer. but, it'd be nice to get away every once in a while. maybe i'll drive to borders to do my homework every night so i can be cool like that. yeah right.
my life is pretty lame. but i'll get over it.
keep company with him...and learn a life of love...extravagant love.

im full of quotes today, i guess.......

i'll be the grapes fermented, bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit
like a perfect gentleman
i'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
where you will sit and contemplate your day

i'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning in an open tab
when your judgment's on the brink
i'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite albums back
as your lying there drifting off to sleep…
i'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredities done to you:
you won't have to strain to look into my eyes
i'll be your winter coat buttoned and zipped straight to the throat
with the collar up so you won't catch cold

i want to take you far from the cynics in this town
and kiss you on the mouth
we'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of this scene,
start a brand new colony
where everything will change, we'll give ourselves new names (identities erased)
the sun will heat the ground under our bare feet
in this brand new colony
everything will change, ooo ooo….

the postal service

the next friday she had asked him to stay a minute after class. she said he was "unusually talented," and she hoped he wouldn't let anything discourage him, but would "keep it up." that meant, jess believed, that she thought he was the best. it was not the kind of best that counted either at school or at home, but it was a genuine kind of best. he kept the knowledge of it buried inside himself like a pirate treasure. he was rich, very rich, but no one could know about it for now. -bridge to teribithia

watch what god does and then do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. mostly what god does is love you. keep company with him and learn a life of love. observe how christ loved us. his love was not cautious but extravagant. he didnt love in order to get something from us but give everything of himself to us. love like that. eph5
(read it again...slower.)

compared to the high privilege of knowing christ jesus as my master, firsthand, everything i once thought i had going for me is insignificant - dog dung. ive dumped it all in the trash so that i could embrace christ and be embraced by him. i didnt want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when i could get the robust kind that comes from trusting christ - god's righteousness. phil3

tonight a freshman tried to drink a gallon of milk in an hour and puked his guts out. it was entertaining.
i worked ahead and finished a manuscript lesson that isnt due until wednesday. hows that for anti-procrastination?

im getting sick of lazy boring weekends. i wish my friends and i had some creativity in thinking of things to do. yeah, a lazy weekend where you sit around and do nothing is nice (and needed) every once in a while...but when it happens weekend after weekend it's a poor use of time...not to mention just plain old and boring.
on a different note...we hear so often that christians need to be in ever workplace and every occupation...missionaries in those different fields. it's ok to be a business man cuz god needs some good christian business men out there to make an impact and to be a shining light, etc, etc, etc. but how often do we christians use that excuse to do whatever we want to do and be as comfortable as we want to be. "oh...it's ok that im a business man making a lot of money living in a big suburban house with a 4 door garage filled with 4 nice cars...because im a missionary in the business world." i dont mean to discount the truth to the statement...you CAN be a missionary wherever you work and that may very well be god's calling for your life and amen and amen....but i fear many people use that as an excuse to pursue whatever comfortable self-serving career they choose. i suppose what im saying is how often do we truly listen to god's calling? just something think about.
another busy week ahead. not much else to talk about at this point. have good weeks.

so much for baseball being interesting and enjoyable this year...last night i fell asleep in the eighth inning of the cubs game just as the marlins when up by 1, and slept through a room full of yelling and screaming until the end of the 11th inning. i just couldnt keep my eyes open.
i hate having groggy headaches on saturdays. i also hate having nothing to do on such beautiful days.

it's friday which means im another week closer to graduating.
tonight i get to go to a homecoming banquet as one of yoder's guests cuz he made homecoming court. so i get to act cool and popular for a night which i dont know maybe it will be fun i guess.
we might start watching the second season of 24 tonight which is just bad news if we do. we'll see.

i had a stranger tell me that shorb was onomotopeia. im not sure if i agree.

busy day here...running from job to job....trying to finish homework...airband tonight...
wesley left for australia this afternoon...kinda scary...or surreal i suppose...but i am so excited for him and proud of him and ready to see what happens.
i had something else to say........

Joy fills the weak,
joy makes us strong.
Filled 'till we burst,
songs of praise to the God of the Universe.
Despite our selfish selves,
despite all loss of hope,
despite our lack of faith,
despite our stony hearts,
despite the waning moon,
despite the ebbing tide of how we think this world should be.
It cannot mean to serve ourselves
That doesn't mean a thing
It doesn't mean to give the license
To seek ourselves in anything
That would be slavery to ourselves it isn't free
Jesus Christ, the only thing that freedom means to me
A promise is a promise,
A judge of character.
His banner over me is love.
Perfection never was a requirement
although some might say we desired it.
So then for times when things get old I might get cynical
I see that I don't see.
Do they see you when they see me?
Fathomless your endless mercy,
weight I could not lift.
Where do I fit in this puzzle,
what good are these gifts?
Not a martyr, or a saint,
scarcely can I struggle through.
All that I have ever wanted,
was to give my best to you.
Lord, search my heart,
create in me something clean.
Dandelions
you see flowers in these weeds.
A new hope
Where is your freedom
A new hope
Here is your
freedom
Peace fills us
By hope we steer
Our dark hearts salvage
We live without fear
In the soundless awe and wonder,
words fall short to hope again.
How beautiful,
how vast your love is,
new forever,
world without an end.
If Jesus Christ is true
then I am mostly lies
if Jesus Christ is Love
then I have failed to try
if Jesus Christ is Life
then please just let me die
let...this...die...
Dear Father, I need you,
Your strength my heart to mend.
I want to fly higher,
Every new day again.
Healing hands of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again.
Jesus Christ, light of the world burning bright within our hearts forever.
Freedom means love without condition,
without a beginning or an end.
Here's my heart, let it be forever Your's,
Only You can make every new day seem so new.
(fiveironfrenzy)

tonight i say goodbye to one of my favorite bands ever, five iron frenzy. they'll be missed.

it seems like baseball playoffs are a bigger deal than ever this year. does it seem like that in pennsylvania? (this is where you comment) i have a feeling that its just because the cubs are in it and everyone around here is excited...but for the first time in my life im watching baseball and i actually enjoy it. and thats strange.
school of rock is getting rave reviews from pretty much everywhere...including a 92% on
rottentomatoes.com which is basically unheard of. i keep looking back on it and smiling..finding more and more reasons why it was so great. if you havent seen it................do so.
i still feel like im dying.
and our campus is being taken over by lady-bug-look-a-like-killer-biting-smelly beetles. discovery channel should really consider doing a documentary here.
go cubs.
goodnight

i got a good night of sleep last night which is a good thing, but i woke up sicker than yesterday. i thought i was getting better but now im getting gradually worse again. and it's really not helping my apathy much.
ive got a full day today...i'll start my new job in the admissions office, have small group, meeting with a student teaching advisor, have an IFC meeting, and do homework in between. tomorrow night i'll hopefully be seeing five iron frenzy on their farewell tour, and thursday night is the big taylor phenomena we like to call airband. so, although this week shouldnt really be that busy, it is.

i really like the album leaf and i thought you should know.

another reason i would like to be in a band is so that i could go away for a couple weeks to record. and we could do nothing all day except record. and i could take naps on the recorder's couch while the drummer worked on his stuff. and i could read a lot. and we could hang out in the city at night. and we could act silly in the studio like the dialtones always did. and it would just a nice long fun vacation.
i am writing my paper on punch drunk love instead of amelie. it's a really neat movie that i like a lot and im discovering it has some really neat themes about love. and the cinematography is simply beautiful. i dont really know what cinematography is, but i'm pretty sure it's simply beautiful whether i know what it is or not.

i really am sick of school. time to drop out. move on with life. or at least just create a college where you dont have to do work, you just hang out with guys.
or maybe i should just drop out of trans math.
and get an attention span.
this blog post is going nowhere. goodbye.

tonight, noah informed me he and 3 other guys are going to the cubs game tomorrow (today). i figured it was in chicago, i thought, oh, that's cool. i found out a little later the game is in ATLANTA. ATLANTA. they are leaving at 5:30 AM and driving home all night to get back in time for a test at 8:00am. and noah has 10 hours of classes on monday.
granted, it's not the wisest thing in the world. but it is something they will never forget. especially if the cubs win.
and i know in 30 years i'll probably regret not doing something crazy like that.
one of these nights yoder and i are driving to canada.
i watched amelie tonight, intending to write a paper on it for art as experience. it's a pretty brilliant film...but i have no idea what i'm going to write about.
goodnight. happy sunday.

last night we went to see school of rock and it was really really really good. really enjoyable and funny without resorting to crude or sexual humor. a lot of fun.

my math prof was away today. so we had a substitute. it turned out to be the prof who started the trans math course, and who, coincidentally, taught my prof in that class when he was a student. yikes.
he was really old not to mention old-school and it was pretty funny.
its the weekend and you have no idea how happy i am.

just thought i'd check in. im sure you wouldnt know what to do if you had 7 posts to read from yesterday and not 1 from today.
it's a crazy busy day. i have two papers to write...ones that require research and real writing...not typical education reflection papers which turn out to be proofread blog posts....nope, these are the real thing, which require a little bit more work than they are gonna get.
i woke up at 7:30 this morning even though it's my day to sleep in (til 9). i woke up with a sore throat just as i suspected. i took cold medicine and went to breakfast for a change. i went to the library but they didnt have what i needed. i worked at the front desk. i went to get help in math and sat there while the teacher showed a really smart kid how to do all the bonus problems and i just needed a few hints on the problems for CREDIT. i went to the library again and found what i needed. i went to lunch and ate fast. i started reading for my one paper. i worked the desk again from 2-4. i didnt get the paper done during that time like i had planned. i kept working on the paper. i went outside to the cookout. i flipped burgers for a while. which got grease on my pants which reminds me i need to go get them out the washer. and i just finished paper number one.
time to start paper number two.
i havent talked to erica in 2 days which is a little frustrating, especially considering all thats happened in the past 2 days. just thought you'd like to know. ?
thank you for reading.
bye.

i just drank the can of mango nectar from last night so that i dont wake up sick tomorrow because it has 250% the daily amount of vitamin C needed...it kinda smelled and tasted like tuna fish.

1 Cor. 10:12
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall.

indeed a powerful verse, but probably often misunderstood. ive heard it quoted numerous times, and have quoted it myself several times and have kept it on my mind...but perhaps i'm just beginning to understand it myself.
the verse is often read, so if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't go out and kill someone or rob a bank perform some other evil act.
in reality, it should probably be read, so, if you are finally content with yourself and think you are doing well spiritually because of something you have done or something you are doing, be careful that you dont forget gods grace and your daily need for it, and be careful you dont get caught on the slippery slope of rationalizations, half truths, false logic, self righteousness, poor attitudes, lip service, thinking you're better than others, thinking you're wiser than others, and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and
...all of which you won't realize until it's much too late. so instead of thinking you are standing firm, realize that you are only standing firm because of god's grace on that given day, and tomorrow you will wake up just as much in need of god's grace as the day before.






(we are all fools...or naive suckers at the very least...in this meaningless life)

brace yourself kids, when its a crappy day lots of thinking happens which ends up in lots of posts. so deal with it.

im finding that many of my peers, and admittedly myself as well on occasion, in a quest for critical thinking and evaluating all that one encounters (which is a noble, and necessary, quest), focus less on listening, less on thinking, and more on the criticizing. this leads to a negative cynical jadedness and poor attitude, as well as arrogance and pride. there comes a point where one should stop focusing on everything that is wrong and look a little bit more at what is right. it's good to know whats wrong, but dwelling on it doesnt really produce any growth. leave that behind, take hold of the good, and run with it.

1 Thessalonians 5:21 - "Test everything. Hold on to the good."

on a different side of things, perhaps the same concept can be extended to those who choose to point out only the bad, "immoral" parts of movies, music, art? just a thought.

to phrase it another way, as neville wrote in the echo, quoting madeline whatsherface, i think?, in so many words, "you get what you look for."

i've got the weird feeling in the top of my throat and the bottom of my nose telling me im going to wake up sick tomorrow.

the show last night was really great. everything went smoothly...on schedule...didnt drag...great music...nice bands...it was fun.
away with vega was an enjoyable, young band from iwu who showed a lot of promise.
victory at sea, i thought, were amazing. commanding female vocals, beautiful guitar and piano parts, perfect drumming - intricate but not busy - creative but not distracting, electric violin that just added to the beauty. amy barnett said the one song sounded like the soundtrack at the height of a holocaust movie...which is pretty accurate...strong, powerful, emotional, and beautiful all at once. and the band was incredibly nice. i took them to the hotel with jared and talked to them for a while and they were just super super nice and very appreciative of everything.
mates of state were really enjoyable. they are just a lot of fun and really nice as well. melodies (and harmonies) are so catchy and they are just really really enjoyable. woo.
i bought mates' first cd, and got a free copy of their new cd - a promo - so it's the real cd it just has the word promo scribbled on it...i can deal with that. (thanks jared) i was quite pleased. i also got a can of mango juice from the "green room" and a pack of new kids on the block trading cards. (thanks again jared)
there was a good turnout, but a disappointing taylor representation. which goes back to my artistically challenged post...im still working through that one and all of its implications. we'll save that for another time.
jared and i were chatting after dropping off victory at sea. people can argue all they want about having non-christian bands play here (not that people do argue about that, but i have a feeling if some people realized they were non-christian bands, there would be some conflicting opinion), but behind the scenes, there is a very tangible ministry going on...jared (and ifc, to a certain extent) really puts everything he has into these shows, promotes, and treats the bands well, and they all seem to go away quite pleased with their taylor u experience. victory at sea seemed stunned that we were putting them in a hotel for the night...they were so excited and so appreciative. mates of state, as well, were appreciative of everything and just really excited to be there. they are seeing and experiencing the love of christ first hand...and thats awesome...stereotypes are being broken...friendships being built....and i would even venture to say seeds being planted. so word to that. way to go jared. people walked away from jesus feeling dignified, feeling self-worth, feeling like a person...i would say the bands walk away with the same feeling.
and the opposite is true, as well. both mates and victory at sea were so humble and so nice and so positive and so thankful..........they are putting many christian bands to shame.
enough for now.

it's one of those days where dropping out of school seems like a good idea.

well, well, well....what do we have here?