Thanks

If we're not thankful I wonder if there are basically two reasons. 1) We have no One to thank except for fate or lucky stars, impersonal forces that just feel too, well, impersonal to really thank. or 2) We've been duped to believe that we're self-sufficient, independent, more or less that all we have has been earned through sheer determination and a gritting of the teeth.

So perhaps I feel inexpressibly thankful this Thanksgiving because this year has simply left no room for either of those cases.

Last Thanksgiving we were less than a month away from, but completely oblivious to, the immanent and sudden expansion of our family. And there was no thanking lucky stars, as even lawyers, caseworkers, pediatricians, and the most random of acquaintances could agree on the divine story being written in the strange circumstances that paved the way and brought this child to our doorstep. And to have a free crib delivered the day before and a box of clothes delivered a few days after...down to the diapers and toys and books on a moments notice...how could we just toss it up to fate?

And since then it's been a year of complete dependence. Becoming a father on moment's notice, completing a master's degree, keeping up with a job, preparing for a cross-cultural move, fundraising, leaving that dream job before the future was guaranteed, then looking ahead to a new job in a new country that involves learning a new language, with the new surprise recently thrown into the mix just for good measure. Crazy? Of course. My ideal transition? Of course not. Something I can succeed through in my own strength? Absolutely no. (If you must know, in my own strength, I would have curled up in a corner somewhere long ago.)

It's my developing conclusion that once you tell God you're willing, once you agree to walk by faith and not sight, he will begin the twists and turns that test you, that force you to keep trusting or turn back, that call you to greater dependence or a return to independence. It's a process of breaking, refining, and then remolding. A process that strips you of all self-sufficiency, all dependence on personality strengths and natural ability. An emptying process that grips you until you can say, "Not my will, but yours" and "Whatever was to my profit I now consider loss...it's all a bunch of garbage."

At times it's painful, at times it's scary. It's a loss of control, it's a loss of identity.

But with it all comes a deeper trust and an intense comfort in a God who is good and sovereign, a God who knows what he's doing and isn't out to get you, a God who not only can see what the future holds but plans what the future holds, a faithful, unchanging, sustaining God. With it all comes the increasing ability to say, "I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]" or "I'm no longer competent in myself, my competence comes from God."

I'm feeling more like a cracked clay jar this year. One that will hopefully, eventually, in some way show a surpassing power that couldn't possibly be from me, but only from God.

It's all crazy and mostly inexplicable, and to an outsider or onlooker it probably sounds a bit senile, but I'm entirely thankful for it.

You were wrong, and I won't hold it against you

"I had so much hatred towards my family. And now it's gone."

These words were shared on Sunday morning by one young woman who's been meeting with three other women on a weekly basis, reading scripture, praying, and sharing life together. A simple practice that adds up to the first time she's ever been discipled in the truth of the gospel. And though I'm reading between the lines a bit, what I hear her saying is that the more she's around the knowledge of God's forgiveness, the more she's able to forgive.

Recent thoughts here and here and here, along with several discussions and teachings on forgiveness at our recent training, have been sort of converging towards what I'm starting to see as a compelling apologetic for the truth of the gospel. It's the supernatural wonder of forgiveness.

When we've been wronged, there is no piece of moral fiber in our bodies that wants to let it go. We want justice for ourselves. This starts a nasty cycle, the cycle that's been discussed here more recently. The only way out is real, true, full, complete forgiveness. But again, I'm becoming more and more convinced that this is not at all humanly possible.

Instead, forgiveness is a divine, supernatural gift. And it reverses so much that is wrong in this world. Restorative, healing, life-giving. It's the opposite of what we see in our broken societies.

Where does it come from? I find the most compelling teaching on forgiveness to be the parable Jesus shares with Peter, who in his humanness, wants to put limits on forgiveness. But if God puts no limits on his forgiveness, neither should we. (And in the conclusion of that parable, it seems the only limit God does put on forgiveness is if we're not willing to extend it to others ourselves.)

I firmly believe our willingness to forgive runs in direct correlation with our understanding of how much we ourselves have been forgiven. (And understanding how much we've been forgiven depends on how sinful we think we were in the first place, but that's another conversation for another time.) If we see our forgiven debt as being as large as the one forgiven by the master in Christ's parable, then surely we can close the record-keeping books in our relationships and forgive the trivialities around us.

"Forgive as the Lord forgave you." That begs the powerful question: How does God forgive us?

But this is only a powerful "apologetic" if it's actually seen authentically at work in the world around us. And I think that calls for better teaching on the topic in our churches: first of God's great forgiveness, then of our forgiveness of people around us, including what it is and is not.

In one of my favorite documentaries, Stevie, some strange advice is given that has always bothered me a bit. The "mentor" tells the subject of the film, "I'm not telling you to forgive, I'm telling you to forget." Apart from Christ's forgiveness, I wonder if that really is the best this world has to offer. Your grudge is excusable, just try to push it to the deep recesses of your mind. And if that's the best we've got, then it's no wonder so many relationships are fractured, left in ruin, characterized by distance and avoidance.

There's got to be a better way.

One more Post, then I'll call it a day, Promise.

Sufjan's late-night network debut made me giggle with glee. A lot.

Put it On Your Bucket List or Something

I can readily admit that the band Do Make Say Think is not for everyone. I can even admit that some days they aren't for me. But there are other days where they are the only music for me. Today is one of those days.
And so it is here that I will make this declaration, regardless of your feelings towards the band.

Absolutely everyone, just once in their lives, needs to listen to the song "Fredericia" as loudly as their living room speakers can reasonably handle, while doing nothing else, perhaps even with eyes closed. This will only require 10 minutes of your lifetime.

If that goes over well, another optional exercise would be the same with the song "Auberge Le Mouton Noir." And no, I don't like that song only because the title is in French.

And if you complete these exercises not feeling much better for it, then I recommend a more pleasant song, one I don't think is possible to NOT enjoy, with increased frequency, as much as needed: "A Tender History in Rust."

Out of Context

Why do we take scripture out of context? Aside from receiving a pathetic education in English/Literature/Philosophy/Logic/Debate, I'm afraid it's just in our nature, and has been since the beginning of time. Satan took God's Word out of context at the very beginning, twisting and distorting to a meaning with which we're comfortable, and we've been doing the same ever since.

Like the people of Israel, we only want to hear pleasant things, avoiding the conviction that comes from the Word of God:

Isaiah 30:9-10
For these are rebellious people, deceitful children,
children unwilling to listen to the LORD’s instruction.
They say to the seers,
“See no more visions!”
and to the prophets,
“Give us no more visions of what is right!
Tell us pleasant things..."

Like the people Paul warned Timothy about, we've got itching ears, wanting to suit our own desires of comfort:

2 Timothy 4:3-4
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.

Finding Context

I've been trying to devote myself to the book of Philippians lately. And as I've already alluded to, I'm finding it to be a bit surprising. It's not quite the book I thought it was, and I'm afraid it's not the book the average Christian thinks it is. It's been a case study in some seriously out-of-context verses. I'll give just two examples, though there are several more in this book alone.

The most serious offender? Phil 4:13, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

We've heard just about everyone quote this verse as some sort of positive self-talk to get through some difficult circumstance. And taken on its own, it very quickly becomes a tool of the likes of Mr. Osteen, a believe-it-and-you-can-achieve-it sort of mantra. Simply put, the focus is on "doing all things" instead of on "through him who strengthens me." I really don't think that was Paul's intent.

The context? Financial hardship and God's provision. It's NOT performing some astounding miracle or overcoming the odds. It's just talking about being content with whatever you have. (Tell that to Mr. Osteen!)

And it's here we can realize that getting the context straight is only in rare cases something reserved for scholars and their proficient knowledge of Biblical times. Getting the context is often as simple as reading the verses before and after. Phil 4:11-13 "...I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

In other words, Paul's "secret" in all financial situations is finding one's sufficiency not in money, food, clothing, and resources, but in Christ alone.

Another example?

Phil 4:4-7 "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Some verses taken out of context become seriously and dangerously distorted, like the first example. Others, like this one, just lose some of their original intent, making them a little less powerful or meaningful.

When people quote these verses, it's usually when they're having a bad day or when something is bringing them anxiety, weighing them down, a situation that's burdensome. I don't think that's particularly inappropriate or incorrect in this case, but again, as always, it's helpful to see the context -- just by reading the verses before and after.

The context is interpersonal conflict. Phil 4:2-3 "I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together..."

There is some sort of serious disagreement going on that's threatening to bring division. As you work through this conflict, seeking to mend relationships, Paul says, "Rejoice, be reasonable, keep praying, rely on God, seek his peace..." And even further, he goes on to say in verse 8, "Think about the things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy."

All of a sudden these verses aren't just verses to get us through a bad day, they are verses that command us to pursue others and intentionally reconcile and restore relationships. And it's probably in those situations--when what we really want to do is run the other way and insist on our self-righteousness--that we need this reminder most. Instructions for preserving instead of destroying, constructing instead of destructing.

When we take verses out of context and force them to apply where they simply don't fit, we invert God's Word, putting ourselves at the center. Instead of it telling us how to live, we tell it what to tell us. It becomes a band-aid fixing the external instead of a remedy curing the heart. In so doing, we rob it of its transforming power and robust glory.

Good Reminder

The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.


In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.


Strengthen the weak hands,
and make firm the feeble knees.
Say to those who have an anxious heart,
"Be strong; fear not!"

We stayed in North Carolina
long enough to watch the kudzu wilt
and the leaves turn a shade of rusty orange.

We drove north and watched
the trees lose their leaves as we went,
a season changing in mere hours.

We watched the sun rise
over the Shenandoah Valley from
our cold car windows on Skyline Drive,

seeming like the only ones alive,
as if the last visitor left
when the final leaf fell.

And though I swore and hoped
this year--this year, finally--would be the year,
yet again, winter caught us by surprise.

Travis asked what he could expect from the Sufjan Stevens concert.

I told him to expect beautiful chaos and glorious absurdity.
I'm not sure what that means, but I think it's fairly accurate.
I like when artists can be brilliant and yet still not take themselves too seriously.
Highlights of the night were probably "I Walked" and "Vesuvius" or in general just watching two drummers play together.

(photos by my beautiful wife.)

The guy next to us brought his parents to the show with him. It made me wish mine were along too, but once the show got started, I realized it was probably for the best that they weren't. It was just a little too bizarre.

I was right, You were wrong...

Variations on a theme, here, but I loved the explanation Mr. Stevens gave to this song last night--equal and opposite forces--all in a moment of honesty and clarity explaining the natural but devastating tendency to insist on our own way...eye for an eye...vengeance...retaliation...self righteousness...my way or the highway...et cetera et cetera et cetera.

Or the tendency to give up, run away, abandon ship too soon, when persisting and pursuing and persevering would bring what's really needed.

I walked, because you walked, but I won't probably get very far...
I would not have run off, but I couldn't bear that it's me, It's my fault...
I should not be so lost, but I've got nothing left to love...

All of which just begs the question yet again: What would happen if we reverse that devastating tendency?

And it all points to the One who did not walk away when he could have or should have, though he had every right, he continued pleading, continued with hands outstretched, with great compassion, with relentless pursuit. And the other One who served in silence and great humility. "When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats."

We drove through snow on the Blue Ridge Parkway.

a motto

say what needs to be said.
hear what needs to be heard.

But I thought this book was supposed to be about joy? And rejoicing?

"It is my eager expectation...that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:20-21

"For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake, engaged in the same conflict that you saw I had and now hear that I still have." Philippians 1:29-30

"...made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant...humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." Philippians 2:7-8

"...for he nearly died for the work of Christ, risking his life to complete what was lacking in your service to me." Philippians 2:30

"Whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ...I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish...that I may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death..." Philippians 3:7-11

"It was kind of you to share my trouble." Philippians 4:14

Be careful of the lenses you put on before reading, lest you miss the point.

Go Do

One of the most significant "indie" music makers in the past decade agreed to scale down his theatrical performances and do free acoustic shows in record stores. One of the dates was in nearby Asheville, but tickets got snatched up before I could get to them. No matter, as the tour was canceled after Jonsi felt pretty uncomfortable and awkward during this first show. Seeing how tight things are and how close some guys are standing right next to him, I think I can see why. But man is this beautiful.

I thought I was a pretty decent thigh drummer. This made me reconsider.

Jónsi - Go Do [Acoustic] - Live at Origami from plastic pearl on Vimeo.

Question Raised while Playing with the Kid

Do Chinese kids dream about digging a hole and reaching America?