christmas break excitement
+got an accordion for christmas. played it tonight in church with wes and scales and kyle. an awesome instrument but man is it ever tough to learn.
+went to see royal noise brigade last night. tight as ever and a fun show. got a song dedicated to me. good times.
+hit a deer tonight. most fun ive had in a long time. cops came to get the deer...took a real live police report. damage to the deer: broken leg, a little confused. damage to the prizm: dented front left fender, unable to open driver door all the way. character given to the prizm: tough to top what it already has, but it was given even more. now 3 of the 4 doors do not work properly. how awesome is that?
+disregard my top 5 albums of 2002. i like too much music to give a top 5. but those 5 cds are indeed good.
+happy new year. goodnight.

top 5 albums of 2002
there are three disclaimers to the following list:
1. i am by no means an extensive music listener...therefore, this is MY top 5 albums of 2002.
2. i dont have my cd racks here with me...so this is all by memory.
3. this is subject to change depending on what i get for christmas and how good it is...
here we go:

5. Project 86 - Truthless Heroes
i will be the first to admit that the production and music in general on this album comes nowhere close to their last album, drawing black lines. but the message and approach of this album is something bold and risky, something that very few rock bands dare to attempt, and thus, they deserve the #5 spot. http://www.truthlessheroes.com

4. Denison Witmer - Philadelphia Songs
i finally picked up this album at his show at TU, and since have not ceased listening to all of his albums. again, this one is not quite as good as his last few, but he is nonetheless an amazing song writer with the most catchiest of melodies ever. not only have i not stopped listening to him, but i have not stopped singing his songs, either.

3. Element 101 - More than Motion
there was lots of hype around this album, and i was so excited when erica sent it to me in the mail...just ask the guys..i was flipping out. i must admit, i was a bit disappointed at first. this album is not very palatable at all. but when you listen to it more and more, you realize the amazing creativity and originality that was put into it, and it becomes an amazing record. another natural, not to mention amazing, progression for the band. too bad they broke up without me seeing them live in the past 3 years.

2. mewithoutYou - [A-->B] Life
Wow. Wow. another hyped up band...i saw them in the spring before the record came out and i was so disappointed..i thought they were terrible. i gave the record a chance just because of all the hype and wow. a creative piece of post-hardcore, again, doing something creative that most bands cant pull off very well. this is another record i have listened to nonstop the second half of the year. their live show has improved, especially when you know the music ahead of time, and they are one of the best live bands ive seen in a long time. plus they're from philly so i have to reprazent or something like that.

1. Pedro the Lion - Control
another album that leaves me speechless. he's done it again. david bazan is pretty much the most creative and thoughtful rock musician in the music world today...and dang that's a bold statement. a concept album with a bold message...creative, powerful music. this was the album i couldnt stop listening to the first half of the year.


honorable mentions: twothirtyeight - you should be living, damien jurado and gathered in song - i break chairs, brandtson - dial in sounds, coheed and cambria - second stage turbine blade, im sure theres others....

i hae a feeling this will change..i dont think this was the top five i had when i was thinking in bed this morning...im out of here.

yesterday was perhaps the most profitable christmas shopping trip i've ever had. i only went in one place where i didnt get something. all the other places i went i went right in and found what i wanted and walked right out. traffic was bad...but manageable. i beat most of it because i went early. so all in all the christmas present situation looks positive after all.
good to be home...just hanging out...seeing a lot of erica and wes and dale. playing saxophone in the christmas cantata tonight. although i have a terrible attitude about it, and when it comes down to it i would rather be sitting in the audience, i must admit i do kind of enjoy playing saxophone again...especially with nate diehl on french horn right next to me.
merry christmas ho ho ho.

it feels good to be done...especially with the quality grades i pulled off....the trip home begins soon.

so ive been screwing around in my room all night..avoiding studying...and when i finally make myself...i realize i am studying about motivating students. how ironic.

i dont know what acid reflux is, but i think i have it.

ive been a posting fiend this week...my apologies to those of you who cant keep up.
ive talked before about getting older...and i was just thinking...and you know what that means...
part of growing older, and being a music lover, is all the bands you like start breaking up...so when you listen to cd's its kinda like a sentimental legendary kind of thing...granted, none of the cd's i own are anything close to legendary...but you talk about bands and stuff and its just kind of like this nolstalgic feeling.
ok, i dont know what im saying. but i miss the dingees...plankeye...fold zandura...element...ghoti hook... . . . . . .

i flew a kite today. it was fun.

the students at taylor university have pulled a pretty big fast one on the administration here...we've definitely got the upper hand...
during finals week, we have like 10 study breaks a day. these are never very fun, but it is a good excuse to get free food and eat a lot. but yeah, the week is filled with these things called "study breaks." everything shuts down too..take the admissions office, for example. they have no visitors this week so that their student staff can focus on finals. so, the administration actually believes that we study! HA!
so then it just turns into the most relaxing week of the year where everyone screws around and eats free food they stole from the study breaks.
we've got them right where we want them....

just wanted to say that i am SO glad i added the comments feature..i was missing out on SO much feedback before i did that. whew. good thing. gooood thing.
so...500 visits...thats about 400 of my visits...75 of jamin's...and 25 of my mother and who knows who else...

thanks for visiting...

God really knows how to get straight to the point sometimes...

zeal (zel) n. Enthusiastic devotion to a cause, ideal, or goal and tireless diligence in its furtherance.

fer·vor (fûrvr) n. 1. Great warmth and intensity of emotion. 2. Intense heat.

wow
why have i not listened to elliot before? man oh man! too bad their tour with fsf and the beautiful mistake is not coming to the midwest.
furthermore, ester drang is so incredibly amazing. now they are signed to jade tree and will blow up and i'll have to give up on liking them being the indie elitist that i am.

packing light
so..there's four of us coming home to pennsylvania...in a civic i think...one of them is a girl...and i have to bring home a bass guitar and a saxophone...packing should be interesting...

personality switch, and the real world...
+there are lots of times where i wish i wasnt the big obnoxious idiot that i am and i wish i was a mellow, quiet, mysterious, shy enigma. lots of times i catch myself being really mellow...not getting excited...talking kinda like eyore but not because im depressed, just because thats the mellow guy i wish i was...and just when i think ive got it mastered i run out to the lobby and start doing the shorby shuffle while singing pink's "get this party started." i suppose it's a hopeless cause, all in all. but it doesnt hurt to pretend every now and then.

+the math final was easy yesterday. it took me 40 minutes. i think im ready for my bib lit final today, should be a piece of cake. now i just have to get working on my computer project. i would tell you that i was considering skipping that project all together because if i got a zero on it i would still get a B in the class (according to my calculations), but since my prof is known to visit my blog every so often, i wont tell you that. hi angie! :)

+tonight the floor has a little pool party somewhere. free arcade games, free pizza, and swimming. woo. so i'll get to endure all the comments about the size of my nipples.

+did i mention im going to haiti for spring break?

the excitement never ends at taylor university...
tonight a UPS truck hit a car. it looked like the car was driving by and the UPS pulled off the side walk and t-boned it. pretty cool. so while campus safety was distracted at the scene of the crime we had some fun.

roommates don't let roommates...
as we sip our juicy juice boxes...
nate: "how bout another?"
kyle: "no thanks, im driving. last time i had two juice boxes, i ended up with a couple broken hearts and a set of twins."
and the funny thing was...arthur is on the front of the juice boxes.

as if i wasn't unmotivated enough, already...
+i just found out that if i get a 0 on my math for teachers final, i'll still get a B-. if i get a 50%, i'll get an A-. if i get an 80%, i'll get an A. i havent studied for a math test all year...why start now?

+there is not much worse than having the desire to be artistic, and not doing anything with it. i want to make something with my hands...make a present...write something beautiful...or make some good music...and i cant do anything with it. so instead i just surf the web and write on my stupid blog. what a waste. listening to saxon shore doesnt help. maybe i should teach myself how to actually play the harmonica.

+i just thought of the time when we were at paashauses and brian becker was playing "again i go unnoticed" and i played the spoons and laughed. that was fun.

raise the roof
+it's been a good couple days thus far. the kind of days i wish i wouldve had more of this semester. oh well.

+thursday night travis yoder and i hung out in the union til 2. that was very nice.

+friday was the last day of classes, and then just about all of morris..and all of campus for that matter..went to the basketball game. we killed them. a bunch of us went to subway, and then watched a movie, and it was fun.

+today i slept til 12:30. woke up, showered, went to lunch, and went to the basketball game. the fans were pretty sparse, but we were effective. the morris guys got in the other teams heads quite well. we got this one guy so flustered..he got a technical, missed shots, and held the ball as the clock ticked down - not realizing how much time was left and that they had a valid chance to win the game. he was pretty upset. for all you basketball players that read this (and i know thats quite a few), never acknowledge the jerks on the sideline...once you do..it's all down hill.

+tonight i'm in a very ambitious artsy craftsy mood...but have no idea what to do with it. i have 8 more christmas presents to get, im sure i could make something for at least one of them..but i'm stumped.

+raise the roof has nothing to do with anything except for the fact that the other day i kept saying it in math for teachers and everyone laughed at me.

+goodnight.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kyle: "You know what I was just thinking? I'd be a really annoying girl. Think about it. I'd be so critical and nit-picky of everything. And we have certain words for girls like that. If I were dating me, I'd be like, 'MAN, why is this girl so picky?!?' I'd be so annoying!"
Nate: "What makes you think you aren't an annoying guy, then?"
Kyle: "Well....uh.....I guess.....Guys can get away with some things a lot better than girls can."

coincidence? i think not.
first of all, read this. 10 SUREFIRE ways to find a date for the holidays. it's funny because it's vague. it's like...."do stuff to get a date...and you'll get a date...if you do stuff."
second of all, kyle and my new favorite past time is reading the horoscopes and make sense out of it. we're even thinking of starting to write them...
here's tomorrows:
"you might do something, and you might like it, but you might not, cuz you you might. something might make you mad and then you'll be upset but that might not happen at all but it might anyway. someone will talk to you. you'll go outside and there will be weather. you might eat food. but then again you might not. this is all true."

music to sleep to
i recommend that you all go buy unwed sailor's stateless cd, put it in your stereo, turn all the lights off, and fall asleep. i did that for both of my 2-hour naps yesterday and there is nothing better. i promise. and two 2-hour naps in one day is pretty good in itself.
speaking of unwed sailor...they are coming to taylor in march along with ester drang (who just got signed to jade tree...great googly moogly) and dension witmer. goooood golly miss molly what a show! nate and i are begging to open...here's hoping.
ok, it's seriously time to fold laundry.

the most wonderful time of the year..... . . .
welp, it's thursday. wednesday was my big day and from here on out i have decided i can get away with doing absolutely nothing at all. i'll have to study for my finals eventually, but that can wait. i have done so much of nothing today and it feels darn good.
i did do some laundry. i squeezed 4 or 5 loads into about 3. i was out of underwear and have been out of undershirts for quite a long time, and was into my holey sock collection, so i figured it was time.
so, it's christmas time, eh? it seems like every year the season gets busier and busier and less and less special. in chapel the other week a professor and his 3 young kids did a little special christmas reading thing and i could totally remember what those little kids were probably feeling. christmas used to be such a special, magical, exciting time of year. and now, it's december 12th, and i'm like, "oh crap..christmas is just 13 days away. i havent even thought of what to buy...blah blah blah..." it's just a chore sometimes and very unexciting. not even that, you just dont realize it's here until like the 24th, and then all of a sudden it's done. and when you were a kid, any present you bought, the recipient would totally fake it and pretend like it was the greatest present ever and it wouldnt really matter to you or that person. now you're expected to put thought into it and buy a GOOD present. us shorbs just dont have it in us. us shorb men think a lemonade squeezer is the best christmas present ever, and apparently we're wrong.
oh to be a kid again.
although i suppose it's the same with a lot. i dont like being old just because im cynical and jaded about everything.

i want to be innocent and excited again.
i suppose reese roper says it pretty well when he sings,
"only you can make every new day seem so new."

sometimes i wish it was that easy...i wish getting to that point was as easy as it sounds...



and those are my reflective thoughts of the day. time to fold some laundry.

parting is such sorrow. nothing sweet about it. although, i guess it hasnt really hit me yet. 11 hours is a long way away.

on another note, remind me never to let my daughter wear t-shirts that say the following, both of which i saw in my 4th grade class today:
"i know, i know, i'm gorgeous."
"why do boys like smart girls? opposites attract."

pop culture. gotta love it.

open house turned out better than expected. the theme was indiana jones. the lobby was an airplane crash site turned into an exhibition, complete with a real live truck and motorcycle. my hallway was a jungle leading to a rope bridge over real live standing water leading to a middle-east town. kyle and i had a fully functional snake charmer hut. considering that 5 of the rooms did absolutely nothing for our hallway, things turned out quite nicely. the middle hallway was a jungle complete with real live straw huts leading into the temple of doom complete with fully functional booby traps, a big talking head, and yes jamin, a cardboard skeleton too. the other hallway was a thick jungle leading into a cave. a fun time was had by all.
originals night was pretty rough. we'll leave it at that. but fun nonetheless.
i went to bed at 4 and woke up at 7:30 and went to my 5 classes and gave presentations in 2 of them. that was interesting.
tonight is erica and i guess most likely wes' last night in indiana. that stinks.
soundtrack:
explosions in the sky
interpol

im out.

dang, three posts in a matter of a half hour. this is sick.
i just wanted to say that this blog thing is pretty weird. every now and then it just kinda hits me and im like "what in the world am i doing?"
half the stuff i write in here is supposed to be private. if someone were reading it over my shoulder i'd be all embarrassed and kick them out of my room. but then i post in on the world wide web for anyone to read...from my best friend to my professor to a stranger living in mongolia. pretty weird.
and maybe a lot of the stuff i should be keeping private.
oh well.
me and my big mouth and my inability to communicate with others on a personal level. what can i do.

sometimes i just realize how much of an idiot i am.

+nate and i are playing at an open mike night tonight. we are playing an older new song, a new "jam" song (phish is one of our biggest influences), and he is playing a new song on his acoustic. i will say this: it is a wonderful thing to sit in a dorm room and have one of your best friends completely blow you away with their creativity. and then to be privileged enough to be a part of it. it is something that makes you momentarily forget about the classes...the finals...the people in the hallway being jerks...your temporary depression...your lack of sleep...and life in general. there are very few other places i'd like to be than being swept away by music.

+this morning erica and i went to cracker barrel for breakfast. and it was good.

+today i have to give a tour for the first time in a long time. no thanks.

chris from twothirtyeight says what i was trying to say yesterday a lot better than i ever could...

"...on my way to work i saw an old lady dragging a trash can down her driveway. she looked like she was already dead and i thought to my self "i've already lived a third of my life". it kind of stuck with me the rest of the day. the other night we drove home from louisiana and got into town at about 5 in the morning. it was freezing cold outside and there was this guy standing in the median selling newspapers. he was acting like he just won the lottery. i thought to myself, "what does he have to be so happy about." it's these little moments of clarity that come out of no where. flying through the fog kicking and stabbing; gone in seconds.
i'm caught up in the hum and motion of the day. the changing of monies, overnight fed-ex and take out food that gives you gas. you forget how to enjoy a bike ride, or talking to a neighbor for 5 minutes, or just sitting in a chair in the sun.
the god of the great and powerful is also the god of the still and quiet and he may require us to find him there first."

www.twothirtyeight.com

it's one of those days. im in a bad mood, really tired, and just sick of being busy...hating how time flies by and i get caught up in all the stupid stuff...wanting to forget school and other commitments and do some quality stuff with friends instead...probably about 70% of things we do in life dont really matter at all, and yet they become a big deal...eh..whatever...
sorry this is depressing.

i will miss erica when she goes back to pennsylvania.

whats up everyone.
the week is over..it went by fast..and all in all, it wasnt as stressful as i was expecting.
the big penthouse christmas open house is tuesday night, which means preparations began last night. this will involve several late nights and perhaps a few class skippings if i decide i can afford any. the theme is undisclosed until the night of...but this place will be transformed into another world.
i am already pretty sick and dont know if i can handle not getting any sleep this weekend.
last night i ran sound for local boy wonder josh garrels. he is amazing. acoustic hip hop kind of stuff with an absolutely amazing voice like no one else. it was a pleasure getting paid to listen to him. i wish he'd consider marrying me. thats a joke. but i am in love with him.
time to go finish up a writing for teachers project...finally...

taylor people: penthouse open house, tuesday night, 7-11, be there or else.

hope you pennsylvanians are enjoying the snow. nothing out here except for frigid cold air.

NERDVOMMIT: how's the christmas season treating you?
PUNKERPX6: rough man
PUNKERPX6: some lady yelled at me today for licking my finger to get the plastic bags apart so i got pissed at her
PUNKERPX6: and told her that there are more germs in the money she's handling so to just back off
NERDVOMMIT: you didnt get fired did you?
PUNKERPX6: nah
PUNKERPX6: she deserved it

i found out yesterday that my boss' brother was edward norton's body double in red dragon. if that's not cool i dont know what is.

-this morning my alarm was set for 9:15 and i woke up every 5 minutes from 7:45 to 9:15. i thought i'd be awake and ready for my day, but it's one of those days where you are too tired to do anything but sit there and stare at the wall.
-everyone be sure to check out jamin's inpsirational blog at http://shorbownsmysoul.blogspot.com
-let me add to my comments of yesterday by saying the pride is just as crappy as insecurity is...probably because pride is 9 times out of 10 a cover up for severe insecurity. there are 2 kinds of insecurity: the type that is displayed by depression and the type that is covered up by a facade of cockiness and arrogance. something to think about.
-it is bitter cold today.
-oh! i wanted to post this the other day and forgot. on the way back to school i saw a huge billboard in my town that made me chuckle. it's just a big picture of a woman's face and it says in large print, "i was embarassed by my spider veins." it made me laugh pretty hard. guess you just have to see it.
-time to get started on some work or something. is it really 12:45 already?

you have one new message.
so, i came back to my room, to hear the following message in a whispered, somewhat automated, and very spooky voice:

"This message is for Nate Shorb.
We are calling concerning the size of your nipples.
We would like to do a feature on your nipples for the Echo this week.
Please give us a call."

never a dull moment in room 438. well that's not true, but this was exciting. almost as exciting as kyle getting a prank call from what sounded like a girl at 1 in the morning last night.

PS
and right after i write that, david bazan sings to me:

count it a blessing, that you're such a failure.
your second chance might never have come.

the canyon of inferiority
in 6th grade, we learned about it from Dr. Dobson. he called it the canyon of inferiority. we liked to make fun of it back then.
now, i am realizing that insecurity is probably satan's biggest and most successful conspiracy yet.
it is amazing the things people do to feel accepted and to justify themselves on the scale of coolness.
take me for example, i have a blog to make myself feel special. until nobody posts comments and then i become depressed again. ok that part was a joke but the rest of this is serious.
a few years back insecurity was a huge struggle for me. until erica and a few others knocked some sense into me, and, even more, i just got plain sick of it. it is a pretty draining personality trait to have.

in the big scheme of things, the approval of others matters an incredibly small amount.

there is nothing more relieving than sitting back and relaxing in the security and identity of Christ, and not caring what anyone else thinks of you. forget the clothes, the cds, the friends, the homecoming crown, the sweet hot-red geo prizm in your driveway, the number of buddies on your buddy list and the counter number on your blog...they dont mean a thing.

you are who the creator of the universe intended you to be and there is nothing more comforting than that.




just relax.

back to life, back to reality
well dang. after the next two weeks, im not sure i'll like el ed anymore.

the trip back
a half hour into the trip this morning we hit a huge accident - all four lanes closed - two hours of sitting.
the traffic in western PA moved at about 20 mph.
we made good time besides that..without the hold ups we wouldve made it in like 10 hours or less.
fun was had by all. kind of.
time to get this week started.
i think my counter busted so start writing comments so that i know you have visited and that this blog has a purpose and it'll be fun for everyone almost.










im an idiot.

i have a sore throat today and those are never fun.
tonight i got to see a good friend from high school for the first time in a couple years. he is a guy who i really respect, admire, and think very highly of. it was good to see him. we went to wal-mart and visited dale. dont drop out of school kids, you end up working at wal-mart. just kidding dale, you do a great job and wal-mart would be a disaster without you.
i also got to hang out with my neighbors, the cassels. that was nice because they are super cool.
this break, although fast, has been a productive and enjoyable one. i missed a few of you guys (ham and kyle)..but dont worry..i'll see you over christmas. thanks to those of you who had fun with me.
tomorrow is the big trip back to indiana. cant wait to get back into the swing of things.
that was sarcasm but you cant really tell with the writing mood i am in.
im going to bed.
goodbye pennsylvania.

i apologize for my waste-of-time-thanksgiving-break postings. not like any of you care.
last night i went to perkins with a bunch of friends. good times good times. i ordered the chicken tender melt. god bless america my home sweet home. man that thing is good.
dale and tim and i made up a game called ping pelt. it was pretty humorous. just like old times.
just got the christmas tree with the family. we did it and record time and that was a relief. both andy and my father had their respective trees picked within 5 minutes. i like it that way.
just said goodbye to andy and jodi and taylor. hard to believe my extra-long-over-a-week-break is already ending.

Thanksgiving has come and gone. good food, good times.
let's see if i've figured out this commenting system yet.
aaahhhh..yes..it worked. leave me comments and give even more meaning to my life.

im off to the thrift store.

i just want to be the clay in your hands.
-mineral

in the days of my youth and meteorology complaints
-visited the ol' stompin' ground tonight. my alma mater...southern lehigh high school. they've built on a huge addition there over the past 2 years, and this was the first i have seen it. it is nice, but the old part still looks exactly - and hauntingly - the same. i do not miss high school at all. i would venture to say that it is the biggest joke and farce ever pulled in history of the united states. i dont really know what i mean by that. i guess lately...college is the time where you realize you were never as old as your thought you were going through school, and you still arent as old as you think you are, although you are getting old because younger kids were born in years you specifically remember and they give you blank stares when you talk about all the tv shows and toys you remember. when you are in high school, it seems like a big deal, but in the big scheme of things, it is nothing. i guess that's what im getting at.
-besides the high school, it was good to see some old friends and laugh.
-so there's a snow storm hitting us tonight. up to this point, the snow of the season that i have experienced has been quite anti-climactic. usually the first snow is a big deal...but it's been unanticipated and hasnt amounted to much, leaving me unsatisfied. i suppose the past few winters we have gone without snow until late december or early january, so to get some in mid-november without warning is kinda, disappointing, perhaps. all this to say, that, despite the current snow not being the most exciting either, it was a very pleasant drive on the way home tonight with the snow falling. it is coming down fast and we'll see what tomorrow holds.
-im off to bed. happy thanksgiving eve.

12 hours of sleep. you can't do that at college, folks.

my break so far
the trip home went well. we saw rachel moyer in cedarville which was enjoyable. although, being at cedarville and hearing about all the rules and whatnot made me very thankful for taylor.
this morning erica and i went to the church in staten island that my sister and her husband are helping to start. the new york accent is a beautiful thing.
tonight we had pepper and onion homemade pizza. mmm. taylor was here...it took her a while to warm up as usual, but once she did we had so much fun. she is growing up fast. she decided she wanted to put on her pajamas and asked me to help. without going into detail lets just say that she was standing there naked waiting for help and i was giggling so hard because i was so embarrassed and she was giggling so hard because i was giggling so hard and it was pretty funny. we had fun with her and andy and jodi.
tomorrow i need to finish the take-home test i didnt finish before leaving, and dale and i may go down to philly.
it is good to be home.

it feels good to be going home. very good. see you pennsylvanians there.
ive been told lately that i have a big mouth. we'll leave my comments at that.
ive been trying to set this blog up so that people can post comments after each post...i thought i had it but apparently i didnt. we'll see what comes up in the near future.
remind me to talk about the gap...and i think thats it.
and i will quickly add that i think it is a shame that the phrase "practice what you preach" has become a cliche over the years.

contrary to popular belief
the get up kids' "on a wire" is definitely not as bad as everyone says. sure, it sounds more like the new amsterdams than the new amsterdams do, and it's definitely not "something to write home about," but i find it very enjoyable.

perhaps homeschooling is an option
dont worry, i am not considering homeschooling for my children, that is an exaggeration. but i will say this: there are quite a few people in some of my classes who i would NOT want teaching my children. and this is at a christian school. pretty depressing when you think about it.

lyrics for the day:
where does the misunderstanding come from demanding that we be outstanding and then some?
perfections never was a requirement although some might say we desired it,
so then for times when things get old i might get cynical.
i see that i dont see, do they see you when they see me?

in honesty there's room for improvement
thoughts may change the truth be told
a closed mind will leave you empty
use your mind to use your soul

alert the press the dogmas are a mess
opnions shift, a broken sift, an empty hand
all billboards ask, "where do they stand"
do all streams lead to one sea?

logically theres room for all questions
though the answers arent all known
objectivity is the myth of plenty
who doubt his truth within their soul

-"all that is good" five iron frenzy

dreams, pride, and life in the general sense
-so this morning i took my first chapel skip of the year and caught up on some sleep. it felt good. but for the second time this year, i had the most realistic dream ever where i dreamt i woke up like 5 hours later and had missed all of my classes. i got a zero on a math quiz, points taken off on a project i was supposed to turn in, and more. and kyle said to me, "that's what you get for being so lazy. you shouldnt take naps" and he was really mean to me. (but that happens in real life, too). but then i woke up at 10:35 and realized it was all a dream and it was the greatest sense of relief i have ever experienced.....besides farkle.
-it turns out it was a good day to skip chapel. let me set the scene. for those of you who have been keeping up with my rantings, you know that the sound guy just got fired or whatever. now, there are 2 guys from maintenance that are mostly in charge of doing sound. unfortunately, they dont know a THING about it. SO...from what i hear...our president gets up to speak today, and his lapel mike isnt working. so he goes to the pulpit mike and thats not working. so he finally gives up and prays and dismisses everyone at 10:20. whoops! that made quite a few people not too happy.
if these maintenance guys would just swallow their pride and admit they know nothing about the sound system and let one of us guys who have been working with it for a couple years run it, things would be fine.
this is exactly what the old guy wanted to do...prove to everyone that we couldnt do it without him. if we'd all swallow our pride that wouldnt be a problem.
the people in charge of my generation night are paying a fortune to have a guy bring in his own sound equipment and run the show. if they'd swallow their pride they'd realize the chapel system COULD sound good if the right people run it and they could save a lot of money and hassle.
so, that's that. life would be a lot easier if people werent prideful.
-today in the one building somehow sewage was coming out of a water fountain. yikes. and holy moly it smelled like someone put off 10 stink bombs at once and it wasnt going away.
-thats all.

sixpence, fruit, motivation, predestination, and kids named after rock stars
-i think we can both be glad that my blog addiction has died down some.
-the blog page has been slow in loading today and boy is that ever annoying.
-i have been listening to the new sixpence none the richer album off their website. wow. it is good. really good. it was worth the wait.
-well, im finally finished with my huge lesson plan project in math. now i just need to finish my take-home test in ed psych by friday so that i can come home early. today was probably the most productive tuesday i've had this year. i actually woke up at 8:45 on my own, and went straight to the library to finish my project. im kind of worried about myself.
-oranges are the best fruit. hands down. well, citrus fruit in general, cuz it's hard to beat clementines, tangerines, and the like.
-if anyone would like a copy of the nate su/saxon shore show that we played here at taylor, let me know. i'll make a copy and get it to you or something. as long as you still buy the real thing when it comes out.
-the past couple days in biblical literature class, we've been talking about calvinism and arminianism. quite frankly, the topic has always confused me and frustrated to me. i found these lectures intersting, though, and i actually stayed awake, probably because it was the first time they were presented without bias or defensive arguments. i dont really have anying profound to say. but i will say that i am content in being a follower of christ instead of a follower of calvin or whoever else. i am a firm believer in the fact that there are some things god intends for us NOT to know, and i rest confidently in the fact that we cannot completely figure him out. i wouldnt want to believe in something or someone that i could completely comprehend.
-yesterday was my last day of tutoring ace freely. unfortunately, i wasnt really thinking when i got dressed at the beginning of the day, and i was wearing a backwards hat and had drawn a red star on each one of my fingers. the first thing he said when he saw me was "hey...you're not allowed to wear a hat in the building!" whoops. then he asked me why i was drawing on myself. he sure made me feel stupid. what was worse was that his mother brought her camera to take pictures of us. oh well. AND...he asked me once again if i got cold in my zip up sweatshirt. i said, "thanks, yvonne, but im fine."
-tomorrow night i am hosting a visitor named tom petty. yup, tom petty. hopefully he can teach me a few things on harmonica.
-i guess thats all for now. im in one of those moods where i want to write...like something is on my head...but it just isnt coming to me. everyone take care of yourselves...and do something nice for someone...and i'll talk to you later.

correction
i just said i hit the 100 mark on my counter...well, apparently this counter is pretty faulty. first it said 99, then it said 92, then it said 94 after refreshing it three times in a row. so, probably no one has been visiting my blog. *sigh*

life with my roomie
"man..lounging on the couch, with my shoes off, peeling an orange, in the afternoon...i feel mediterranean. now all i need is olive oil and a mistress."
-kyle mangum

kyle and i have been discussing the idea of planting a video camera in our room and documenting our interaction. it would be a best selling dvd i think. we are either being harshly sarcastic with each other, making fun of someone and giggling like girls, sword fighting with the swords we stole from our neighbors, or singing at the top of our lungs to whatever song is on the stereo. trust me, it gets to be pretty funny.

looks like i have hit the 100 mark on my counter. i wonder how many of those have been me. thanks for visiting.

is god superstitious?
ok, so here's a funny story. my friend scott coaster calls a girl last monday night to ask her on our floor pick-a-date. she says yes. the next day he hears from a friend of her roommates the following unbelievable coincidence:
every night, the girl's roommmates pray at 11:11 (thats the time when wishes come true, so, i guess it just gives god extra incentive to answer their prayer) for a godly husband for her. guess what time coaster called. he called at 11:11, on november 11th. 11:11 on 11/11. ooooohhhhh boy.
so if thats not pressure, i dont know what is.
apparently the pick-a-date went well besides the awkward silences where neither know what to talk about.

as long as coaster doesnt walk under any ladders or break any mirrors...i think he's the one for her.

stuff.
-remember in the early nineties when all the cool people had beepers? and now all the cool people have cell phones instead. actually, everyone has cell phones. so what do the cool people have?
-holy moly...i laid down at 7:30 because some kind of tiredness hit me like a rock. i woke up around 8:15 to kyle saying something about me and handing me the phone. it was erica and wes who had just stopped by in my lobby. i went down and dont remember much besides that. i am still kind of out of it.
-all the lesson plans that are due are coming pretty darn slow. this is gonna be a week full of work if i want to get home early.
-we had a pick-a-date last night...duckpin bowling in indianapolis once again. the night was full of getting lost and other disappointments, but all in all, a good time was had. i'll spare the rest of the comments.
-still thinking of something reflective and intelligent to say, but, my mind is still a little foggy at this point.
-su and i are hopefully recording a new song soon, so that jamin and erica can make a music video for it for one of erica's classes and for an enhancement on the new cd. im stoked, but we'll see when and if it gets done. i'm hoping for furious d pitty to come out and spend a week with us in beautiful indiana and record all the drum parts in studio 403...havent talked that over with su-nasty yet, though. we'll see.

An Interesting Night (to Say the Least...)
So, last night, Kyle and I decided to watch Bandits. being the sleep deprived man that i am, i retired to my bed halfway through the movie. at about 2:45 am, i was sound asleep and kyle had just gotten in bed. all of a sudden, we heard that wonderful sound that all of us love to hear, the obnoxious buzz of the fire alarm and the blinding flash of the strobe light. my reflexes were impeccable for being sound asleep - one buzz and i was sitting up in my bed yelling "NOOOOO!" so, we rushed to get our clothing on and went out the door. in the hallway, aaron weber, our across the hall neighbor, was running around in his boxers asking for a towel. i said to myself "what a goofball..what in the world is he doing." he got a towel, and ran down the hall toward the lobby and fell to his stomach halfway through, and i thought "this is kid is an idiot." then he proceeded to plug the crack at the bottom of the door. thats when kyle and i look at each other thinking "man, this must be a real fire, he's plugging the smoke." we start walking outside and hear people mentioning a sprinkler head. we realize this is no fire, but someone, once again, has hit a sprinker head off. kyle and i are hesitant, and dont really want to go outside in the freezing we snow, and luckily the fire alarm is turned off. we walk down the hall only to smell the worst odor known to man. old water smell horrible, let me tell you. the water is coming through our hallway door, so we go through the bathroom to the center hallway.
from there, we walk into the lobby to find chaos. there is at least 2 inches of water on the ground, water pouring out of the ceiling, and people from all floors of the dorm coming up to take pictures and jump around in the water. the PA's are sweeping water towards the bathroom into the drain to keep it from going down the halls and into rooms. the rest of the night consisted of the noisiness of a certain PA yelling at the top of his lungs to the people who are awake but the only people hearing him are those asleep, kyle and i making fun of that certain PA and avoiding work by going to bed, the sound of shop vacs and industrial fans, etc.
we decided that if there was ever really a fire in morris, that absolutely no one would leave the building...they would all go to see the fire and take pictures of their friends playing in it. and a certain PA would be yelling, "HOUSE! HOUSE! DO NOT PLAY IN THE FIRE! THIS IS NOT A CAMPFIRE! PUT YOUR MARSHMALLOWS AWAY! HOUSE!"
it felt good to laugh so hard, even though it was 3 in the morning.

-just got to the computer lab (what a fun friday night..so far) to work on my webpage, only to find that all the work i did in class today was apparently unsaved and didnt work. so that really bites the big one. i will also add that the computers in this lab are very jacked up.
-it's been snowing in upland all day today. it would be nice except that it's sooo wet already so it's just kinda miserable. it hasnt been sticking all day, but has started to as of late.
-my boss (as mentioned on 11/12/2002, 9:23:22 PM) was fired today, apparently. this fact has made several people quite happy. first, the guy was just a poor sound man in general. bad at mixing, bad at setting up, just poor all around. this couldve been tolerable except for the fact that he was a stubborn, domineering, condescending jerk. honestly...i mean, i wouldn't call him a jerk if he wasnt. he was just completely rude to everyone he worked with. people have been complaining to his supervisor for weeks...and it finally came to an end. that will make my life a little more pleasant.
-erica and i were supposed to go see a play here at school tonight - the miracle worker. we were pretty stoked because they have it raining on stage....but...it was sold out. which is not surprising..i mean, hello, it RAINS on stage.
im out of here. have a great weekend.

while drinking his first beloved strawberry crush of the year, between oooing and aahing, kyle states: "if i were condemned to drink one thing for the rest of my life, it would be...well...water. but it sure would be hard to part with strawberry crush."

i have been obsessively and constantly checking the the saxon shore blog (http://saxonshore.blogspot.com) ever since our show with them to see if they would mention something about nate and i. they just got back from tour and posted a big thank you list........and we were nowhere to be found. a month of waiting all for nothing. *sigh*

iamyourZER0: alright.
iamyourZER0: um...
iamyourZER0: i know youve been asking me about your blog and if youre actually a geek for having one.
iamyourZER0: and i just read all of your posts
NERDVOMMIT: and you've decided i definitely am
iamyourZER0: and.....quite honestly...i dont know if i can support me "youre not a geek for having one" statement anymore
NERDVOMMIT: i hate you.
iamyourZER0: hahaaha
iamyourZER0: no, im just kidding
NERDVOMMIT: you're jealous
iamyourZER0: actually, i kind of want one now
NERDVOMMIT: i knew it
NERDVOMMIT: i am the blogmaster
iamyourZER0: hahaha
NERDVOMMIT: and i am a geek for saying that
iamyourZER0: sure are

well, the story in the echo (as mentioned on 11/12/02 9:23:22PM) is not being published. it turns out a friend who happened to be reading my blog is roommates with the girl who was doing the story, and after i talked about it with her, she shared my feelings with the girl and it was decided to drop it. i feel bad....should i? i guess its just that i have a hard enough time with tainted motives, and i think we all do, and letting the whole campus know would have twisted things some. i dont know. but...noah's father's surgery went well..he was supposed to have 2 surgeries in a row, but the 1st one went a lot longer than they expected, so the 2nd one is postponed til next week. all went well, though.

what a beautiful day, by the way. i realized at about 2:30 that i forgot my bookbag at the DC after lunch, which was frustrating. but once i started the long walk to get it, it was great.

big business ain't easy / im sure you'd agree / especially when the product is eternity / to stay one step ahead we must achieve / and turn this holy temple / into a factory // is there anywhere you can run / to hid from the thieves? / cause eternity's on sale today for a fee // our sanctuary of this high-rise / our steeples / our billboards / our slogans / our converts // oh - don't forget to buy this t-shirt / as you leave / and open up the offering box / and give until it hurts // show me an open heart and we'll steal it away / cuase eternity's up for sale for a small fee today // faith is buying me away / buying me a way / to convert the masses into little servants / faith is buying me away / buying me a way / buying me into your home (soul) // this altar is a stage / our sponsor must be paid / and maybe we'll even make the front page
- project 86

i promise i'll have some light-hearted stuff on here once in a while. i dont want to depress everyone. im just waiting for something funny to talk about.

-this morning, i went to breakfast and had a make-your-own-belgian-waffle for the first time. it was everything i had hoped for and more.
-just got back from math lab. what the heck have teachers been doing for 4 years if a 4th grader doesn't know how to tell time, and doesnt have the attention span or desire to learn. it scares me...and makes me hope the next 2 and a half years will be profitable years of learning for me.
-with regards to yesterdays comments, i suppose i was saying that sometimes it takes a tragedy to make people realize they can't control everything. and when that tragedy occurs, hopefully that realization will stick with them for the rest of their life. the realization is startling, and scary at first. but when you take a step back and look at it, you can finally relax in the comfortable control and sovereignty of God. ...but how quickly we forget.

sorry for all the heavy topics today..here comes another one...
yeah, so i'm fasting today. and kyle and i were talking about it, and it's amazing just how much discipline it takes. i mean, normally, when you feel just a little tinge of hunger, you find something to eat, and its no big deal. there have been so many times today where my stomach rumbles and i reach for some pop tarts, and then remember.
america is so spoiled and we don't even know it. americans dont have to turn to god because they can rely on themselves and their technology...american christians dont know how to fully rely on god because we live so comfortably in this country where everything is handed to us the minute we need it. and then a couple of planes fly into the temples of our idolized country and we stop..and think..and realize. ...and once the shock of it all dies down, we can relax, and forget once again...and return to our refrigerators, our computers, our cars, ourselves...

so today is probably the first day i've fully understood fasting as a whole.
anyone want to go to la bamba's at 4am?

-my writing for teachers prof just got a book about john steinbeck published. and it's even being sold at wal-mart. how cool is that? barbara heavilin - look for it in a store near you. a kid asked her if she'd make millions off of it...and if she did would we all get A's for supporting her. she said yes. here's hoping...
-duffy robins from eastern spoke in chapel this morning. funniest man alive. but he ended up speaking on behalf of compassion international - and sponsoring kids in other countries giving them food, education, and good stuff like that. it is pretty tough for me to sit through those talks...last year i had to give up my kid, cuz i was honestly in danger of not being able to make tuition payments. how lame is that. i pay $22,000 stinking dollars a year to get an education, while a starving kid just needs $336 a year to LIVE. it seems so backwards and twisted...the focus on money in christianity in general. i get $60 dollars of allowance a month....how disciplined can i be to sacrifice half of that to save a kid's life? it shouldnt be a sacrifice at all..but it is. i suppose i have some thinking to do.
-so i found out last night there was a body found outside of my high school yesterday. and found out this morning a kid from my class hung himself on a tree by the school...a janitor found him at 8:00 in the morning. i didnt really know the kid...but...wow.
it is every education major's passionate, overzealous, and somewhat naive dream (...including mine) that they are gonna save every kid's life and make everything better in schools today. and it's a worthy goal, and definitely important. but im sure this kid had teachers that wanted to do exactly that. i dont know what he was dealing with. he just somehow slipped through the cracks of those teachers. and in the back of my head i can say "well, not every child will accept the challenges i have for him and turn his life around...but as long as i make a difference in just one kid's life, it is worth it." ...in fact i wrote that in an essay just the other day. that may or may not be true...but when your student DOES slip through the cracks...how in the world do you handle that? i will have kids in my classroom that will kill themselves 10 years later. an maybe there really isnt anything i can do about it. i guess you just have to let it go...but...man.
what goes through your mind that makes you want to end your life? that is some heavy stuff.

screen names have been changed to protect the innocent:

feelingneglected: so i am sitting here trying to study and the thought came to me that if you died(or something just as drastic happened) i would never know
feelingneglected: do you know why i would never know?
feelingneglected: because you are never online and i rarely talk to you....weird, isn't it?
feelingneglected: so yeah, i am just really into procrastination tonight so i decided to share this thought with you

this blog has been created for the likes of this person.

my roommate has just informed me that "flagullance" is spelled in the following manner: flatulence. put it on a test, fowler.

you may or may not be pleased to know that my intestinal problems and indigestion have now turned into simple flagellance.

just got jipped out of at least an hour of work. thanks, scott. you're the best.

just got back from tryouts...we played it faster than faster than fast. the beauty of the song (coldplay's "yellow") is it's controlled tempo. it's an incredibly easy song to speed up on...but on the cd it's just a controlled, slow groove. unfortunately, we didn't pull that off. other than that, it went well. they may or may not have noticed. it doesnt sound bad fast, it just sounds a lot better slow. we'll see.
so, i just got a call from the echo, our school newspaper. little old me, getting interviewed for the newspaper. my friend noah's father is getting 20 hour reconstructive back surgery tomorrow, and our floor is fasting and praying the whole day for that and a few other fathers who are sick. the echo is doing an article and wanted my input. after i hung up the phone, i just kinda had a sick feeling about it. im almost tempted to call them back and ask them not to do an article. matthew 6:1-4 "be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them...so when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men...But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret." i guess thats along the lines of what im thinking. i mean, we didnt ask the echo to do an article on us....but....i guess under the circumstances between rival dorms, and just the principle of it, it would be better to be left private. i dont know.
i just put in jimmy eat world's clarity. ahhhh, yes.
and you all should listen to denison witmer...you kiddies in the philly area - he lives near you, so go see him.

-i've had creed stuck in my head all day. i'd rather be hanging upside-down and have water poured down my nose.
-oh..and the funny thing about that pipe i mentioned, is that it is being supported by cinder blocks...and cinder blocks only.
-i like this robot design and all, but if you think i should get a different, better, design, let me know. not like any of you look at this anyway.

- my eyesight is getting worse all the time. it's kinda depressing when you see someone walk in the room and you cant figure out who it is. i dont want to start wearing my glasses all the time.
- ok, so they're building a new art building here...it's completely finished on the outside (with the exception of landscaping)...BUT...there is this one pipe that supplies the heat to a neighboring building, and it's completely exposed and going OVER a sidewalk. it is so intriguing to me. i just want to know how in the world they are gonna fix it and when in the world they are gonna fix it. seems like kind of an important thing ot take care of.
- absolutely nothing sticks to cinder blocks. how are we supposed to hang up posters?

i really hope this blog addiciton dies down fast. i wake up and it's the only thing i can think about.
im trying to figure out some html to spruce up the page a little bit more, but it's not going so well. (thats what that "test" is at the top...i thought i got rid of it, but it's definitely still there.)
i wanted to wake up at 9:00. i did. and then went back into my warm covers and stayed til 10. just what i need.
i was up til 2:30 practicing our song for my generation tonight. and then we all went to handy andy - the first time i've bought something there all year. felt good to inhale a few donuts again.
today, i've gotta get cranking on my math lesson plans, i have a stupid math meeting right at 4, dinner right at 5, sound crew at 5:30, and coldplay tryouts tonight.
i promise this blog will be a little more insightful as soon as i have some insight, but im spent at the moment. and im finding you cant really talk as much as you want - cuz there is always at least one person you dont want reading it. the blog is not meant for venting, so much, i guess.
time to get started on the day.

2 more things (this blog stuff is so addicting)....

1- today kyle and i read a newspaper article entitled "everything you always wanted to know about viagra but were too afraid to ask" and we laughed. a lot. like jr. high boys.
2 - my black striped tube socks have seen their last day. they both have holes in the heels the size of my head. i think i'm going to cry - they've always been my favorite. keep that in mind for christmas.

if i post anymore tonight, please, hurt me or something.

i overslept this morning, i must've dreamt about turning my alarm clock off and didnt realize i was doing it in real life. i missed extra credit points and a day of review for the test. oh well.
tonight adam and i were supposed to start on our huge project for writing for teachers. we scheduled a 2 hour library time for tonight to get started. we got there and said, "eh, let's save it for another time." could be a vital mistake, but, tonight just wasn't the night.
so, i have to have 25 math lesson plans typed up by next wednesday. i just finished my first one.
nate, bear, robey, and i are trying out for my generation night with coldplay's yellow tomorrow night. we've practiced ONCE - without drums. we're supposed to practice tonight but i'll be surprised if that happens. it's a ridiculously easy song, but it's just a matter of getting comfortable with it...which wont happen any more. it's a great song, though. i've been becoming a coldplay fan.
i have a meeting about a haiti missions trip tonight. there is a team of guys from my dorm going to build a church over spring break. i'm interested. we'll see after tonight. if not, i want to go to alaska or the bahamas. we'll see.
crew meeting tonight (in 15 minutes)...
i think thats all for now.
soundtrack for the day:
lots of saxon shore - their album and the bootleg from the concert the other week
brandtson - trying to figure each other out
further seems forever - the moon is down
dension witmer - philadelphia songs
...a lot of my cds seem to sit for a really long time...they sit there just looking unattractive to me...but when i put them in again i get chills (sometimes) and remember why exactly i liked them in the first place. this is the case with brandtson and fsf. amazing bands.
speaking of brandtson, there's a possibility they'll be here late november or early december. here's hoping for nate and i opening!!!
peace out. have a good night.

well...I've given in. it's a blog. from me. i am doing this with great reluctance. on one hand, i feel like a total geek and i should be ridiculed for all eternity. on the other hand, it'll be a nice way to vent or something and another nice way to keep people updated so they dont have to whine about not getting email. thus, here is my blog. i hope you enjoy.