i dont want to work. which goes against everything i thought i learned on the trip. but. i dont know. ok bye.

life after haiti
it didnt hit me when i ate lunch.
it didnt hit me when i turned my computer on.
but when i opened up my dresser drawer, and had to choose which pair of pants to wear, and which shirt....it hit me.
im back in america.

welp, im off to haiti in a few hours. have a good week. thanks for your prayers.

Ajshorb: have a good trip-stay safe! enjoy your goat testicle soup!

how do socks just disappear? somehow my sock supply has been diminished to just 6 pairs. kinda strange.

im starting to find that i cut my hair to the length just before the awkward length. smart move on my part.
i have two big zits on my face that are big red lumps but refuse to turn white so that i can pop them.
i feel like an awkward middle schooler again.

whats this hair in my underarms??????????????? whats happe*squeak*ning to me??????????/

wow. it's 4:00, the first half of my semester is over, the sun is shining, im about to leave for a week long trip, and i am filled with joy. this was much needed.

if i were to get a tattoo, it would just be the following tattooed really largely on my back:

And I know I don't deserve this
The capacity to feel
(To laugh and cry and to praise)
For that I live and breathe and wake each day
Is nothing less than your grace
(In awkward and glorious movement)

dont worry mother, im not completely serious. unless there are cheap tattoo parlors in haiti.

jamin likes to complain about this weather but i love it. nothing beats a cloudy warm yet chilly damp and misty day.
spring break has arrived. hard to believe the year is 3/4 of the way over.
i leave for haiti at 3AM tomorrow morning (tonight). im looking forward to it now that this week is over. we've got a good group of guys and i think it will be a great experience. please be praying.
im outtie.

a fun night.
paper's done.
watched about a boy, which was an exceptional movie. wow. really good.
going to bed real late, i dont know why.
woo.

in the soundless awe and wonder
words fall short to hope again
how beautiful, how vast
your love is
new forever...

w o r l d
w i t h o u t
e n d

i think my fish is dying.

it rained. big thunderstorms. very nice. too bad i was working. im tired. my mind is on spring break. my work is on tomorrow. that didnt make sense, but you know what i mean.
how about a nice nap........................................................

math lesson was good, 12:00 is canceled, it's super warm out, besides failing history it's been a good day thus far.

welp, just took the history test. i woke up early and went to breakfast and studied which was nice.
this test was bad. and i mean bad. i probably recognized about 30% of the test at most. like, we're talking recognize, like, i remember hearing about this or reading about this....not knowing the answer just knowing what the question is talking about. isnt there something a little wrong when you actually stay awake and listen in class and take notes and study and you still have no idea what the test is talking about? i recognized more when i slept every class and didnt take notes! give me a break.
now im going to teach the little rugrats. it could either be a great lesson or a terrible lesson. we'll see.
this whole war thing is crap. now, im not one to say that war is never necessary, and im not one to bash the president and call him an idiot. he obviously knows a lot more about these situations than i do, and im willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on his decisions. i dont approve, but trust his decision. but it just really makes me sick hearing people talk about it or listening to and watching the news. it's like it's all a big game. these grown-ups are acting like i did in elementary school when we'd hide out in our forts and make battle plans. but there's a big difference between drawing tanks and jets while making the little sound effects with your mouth and using real tanks and jets to actually kill people. murder suddenly becomes acceptable when the word "war" is attached to it...and when it is displaced from our vision by thousands of miles...murder is suddenly just another thing to watch on the television senselessly, forgetting that these are PEOPLE, that are REAL. bombs and missles become items of fascination because of the amazing technology they use..and yeah, they're amazing..but we somehow forget that they are used to KILL people. and the worst part is, even after saying all this, people just kinda shrug and mumble something about them deserving it or being happy about killing people and so on.
americans are content, and we dont care...and its ashame.

another forfeit. go figure. we're 5 and 4 and 3 of those wins are forfeits. take what you can get, i guess. we played 4 on 4 and i actually played quite well. lots of rebounds and a few baskets and quite a few blocks which all made me feel good about myself. and it woke me up and made me a little less depressed than earlier. i managed to take a 10 minute shower and here i am. time to get busy.
so, we're at war, huh? more on that later i suppose.

maybe i shouldve taken a nap earlier. im really tired and wiped out tonight...it's making me cranky and making it hard to focus on my studies. i dont feel like playing this basketball game, thats for sure. im tired. i wish i wouldnt have to teach in the morning, that would make things a little easier. maybe i'll go to bed right after my game tonight...and maybe wake up early in the morning. we'll see. if i do that im gonna have a lot of typing on this bio paper to do tomorrow. ugh.

instead of taking a nap, i decided to call dale and wish him a happy birthday. its the first time i talked to him since the move to the big apple. the conversation was a little awkward. neither of us had much to say, i guess. but sounds like things are going well for him. part of me is proud of him, part of me is still worried. i dont know. but it was good to talk to him.

i think my bed is calling me for a nap....what do i do?

math test was fairly easy. book midterm was hard as anything...my predictions about reading comprehension were very correct.
another beautiful day...warm, lots of wind, and rain every now and then.
history test tomorrow morning. ive actually stayed awake and taken notes since the last test...so if i could score a C+ when i didnt do either of those, i think my chances are pretty good on this one. we'll see.
we've got a baskteball game tonight..last game of the season..if we win we go to the playoffs. interestly enough, it's the team we played with last night after our opponent and their opponent didnt show up. they're a good team, but we could beat them, especially if everyone shows up. we'll see. i just hope i block a couple shots to make these guys a little less cocky. i wish i was good at basketball.
i'll admit, i wasnt completely sold on the new further seems forever album initially...but now it's a-o-k in my book. ive been unusually picky with my music lately. kinda weird, cuz usually su is the super picky critical one and im the one that likes everything...but lately he loves everything and im really picky.
like you care.
what purpose does this thing serve anyway. whatever.
have a super evening.
whoop there it is.

been a long day thus far, but the next 2 hours will help my workload out a little bit. just need to get some good history studying in tonight, and keeping chugging away at this bio paper.
this blog is so boring. you could care less about all the work i have.
i have some thoughts i'll share sooner or later.

someone buy me a polaroid camera. i think that'd be fun.

boy, tuesday was quite the day for blog posts. that hasnt happened in quite a while. hope you enjoyed it, jamin. i need to keep working.

i got a haircut tonight. shaved the whole thing to 3/4 of an inch. its the first time ive cut my hair before it was 3 feet long, i think, since like, 2 years ago. kinda nice for a change i guess. whatever. its just hair.

ive never been good at studying. mainly cuz ive never had to. ive spent the past 40 minutes walking around my room or looking at stupid stuff on the internet or walking around the halls trying to ultimately get psyched up to study. this is what i was talking about earlier today. but really..why study?

welp, one book is down. finally. it was a good one. im a little nervous about this test though...i read the entire book and enjoyed it, but definitely dont have the best reading comprehension or retainment. so we'll see.
now it's time to start my 20 page bio paper and study for all my tests and start my 280 page bio book. i got my first bio paper back with a 103...so thats encouraging...takes a little pressure off for this next one.
on a different note, the weather's kinda nice today. everyone's bummed cuz it's not 75 degrees and sunny like yesterday...but i kinda like this cool, windy feel. kinda like a cool summer night, or nice autumn football weather. and if a nice thunderstorm comes tonight it will be even better. im kinda morbid when it comes to the weather, i guess. maybe i should move to seattle.

welp, got back to the room at 2, how much work have i got done in the past hour and twenty minutes? about a page of reading and a half hour nap.

war sucks.
and having a roommate who is an opinionated marine doesnt make things any easier in regards to the war.

oh...
jamin, i have yet to tell you about this, but you can help me...
i came up with this great idea, i'll burn a mewithoutYou cd, or some other hardcore or other quirky music i have that everyone hates, and i'll write on the CD "Dave mix" or "John Mayer" or something like that and leave it in the bathroom for people who take showers and they'll pop it in expecting their favorite song and will get quite a surprise mooooooohahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

welp, im doing my best to get things done. today will be the deciding factor as far as that goes. i have one more chapter to read in the book i have a midterm on tomorrow, and i have to study for my math test tomorrow, and then i need to get a good chunk of my bio paper done. i think there's more, but i forget, and you dont really care anyway.
im pretty mad at myself this year. im just not having any time for fun. the problem is, i dont do stuff cuz i say i have work to do, and i end up wasting all my time not getting any of it done, just sitting around or staring at my homework, whatever. and then when the time comes, i really DO have work to do. if i wouldve either gotten it done in the first place or saved it all for when i actually saved it, i couldve had some fun here and there. maybe we'll be able to change some things after spring break.
so sunday night i was supposed to have 3 prospectives spend the night with me. not one showed up. my last 6 havent showed up!! not a bad deal. although i do feel bad for noah.
i wish i had a funny story to tell you.
um, yeah, i guess thats all for now. whatever.

"i tell him how much i liked the children and he's obviously pleased. the fifth grader named Tunisia, he tells me, lives in the capital city inn - the city's largest homeless shelter. she has been homeless for a year, he says; he thinks that this may be one reason she is so reflective and mature."

NATHANIEL SU-THE MORALITY EP-FOR SALE NOW-$4

NATHANIEL SU-THE MORALITY EP-FOR SALE NOW-$4

NATHANIEL SU-THE MORALITY EP-FOR SALE NOW-$4

NATHANIEL SU-THE MORALITY EP-FOR SALE NOW-$4

i just went through and read some comments i missed. keyan was his name. thank you so much adam. oh man thank you.
last night nate and i had a little show in the union. we did some fun new stuff that we threw together..some different and unusual stuff. i think we pretty much bored everyone, but it was a lot of fun.
time to get some work done.

regression
over the past few weeks ive regressed into a high schooler again. not only do i snicker when my bio professor says parts of the human anatomy...but ive come to the point where i dont care about school...and id go through the motions anyway, but i keep falling asleep in the middle of wanting to work and waking up hours later with nothing done.
in the words of my father, "oh phooey."

stuff you dont really care about but read cuz you have nothing better to do.
i have broken 1,000 visitors to my blog. that's kinda sad in all reality. probably 500 are me, and 450 are jamin, but still.
it's an awesome day here. absolutely beautiful. we've all been waiting for spring like this for quite a long time.
i'd like to think im having a productive day thus far. i read outside for 45 minutes and finished my math project in an hour. not bad.
tonight nate and i are playing in the union. we wrote a bunch of new funky stuff for it. it will either come off as really awesome or really terrible. nate didnt sleep last night. at all. and his sister is coming today so he wont be able to sleep today. so, i have a feeling he'll pass out on stage tonight. or at least mess up a lot. we'll see. should be fun, though.
um, thats all, goodbye.

im washing my sheets hooray.

when your employer expects you to take the second-rate job, it is pretty easy to want to say no just to spite him.

weekend?
furthermore, im always so excited for the weekend but i really dont know why. especially this one because it wont be relaxing by any means. yet i just cant wait til 4:00 cuz then it'll be the weekend. there's really nothing that great about it..i think it's just the fact that i get the chance to breathe for once. granted, i cant breathe too long or that will waste too much time. but just a breath or two is nice.

today
still tired, but it's a good day.
in bio he gave us 5 minutes to discuss any questions we had with our group. we decided to "discuss" outside since the outside door was already open. we had a big snowball fight in the 60 degree weather. it felt like high school again or something. it was the some of the most joyous 5 minutes ive had in a long time.
lately ive been chickening out with people's names. i know i know their name but for some reason theres a hesitation and a doubt that i dont actually know their name. so i just say a very impersonal "hey" with the occasional "champ" or "tiger" or "man" added on. unless it's a girl then i just give a "hey." oh well.
so today is the day when the school newspaper announces the raise in tuition. its probably my least favorite day of the year. it's going up $1,200. and now i get to hear everyone talk about. either people complaining about it - who knows why because they're parents are the ones paying the 1,200, or people complaining about people complaining about it - because 1200 isnt really that much and it's worth it, ultimately because they're not the ones paying for it and they're ignorant of the people who do. and i dont like to complain about it because i know there are probably people worse off than i am and i dont want to be one of the people that i despise myself. and i dont want everyone to have pity on me. but, i guess its just a pretty big burden for me. and then im reminded that im not going to be PA or Intern and that i'll definitely have to work on sound tech again and maybe even CREW so i can earn another measley thousand dollars or so which really makes no difference in the long run anyway. i guess i have a bad attitude. i just hate money, i guess.
time to perhaps talk to erica and if not run an errand or two. ok bye.

for you
i am well aware i'm not a poet, and ive never claimed to be eloquent. id like to mimic your way with words, but know all too well the feeble outcome (and embarassment). all i can say is i've never felt so helpless. it tears me apart to look at that bandage and picture what lies beneath. to wonder whats inside. i want to help. all i can say is i've never felt so helpless.

im really tired. ive been getting no sleep lately and its really not good. im sure i wont be getting much next week, which stinks, cuz i'll really need some for haiti.
it's a beautiful day out.
im tired.
goodbye.

i feel like ive mentioned this before but im not sure.
it really is ashame, not to mention frustrating, that coffee gives me diarrhea. is that normal?

i always think my thursdays are really open and i can get a lot done.
then i realize i have to teach math to the rugrats in the morning and work in the office in the afternoon and i remember my day is absolutely shot. just what i need.
we won our game tonight...by forfeit.
im sweaty.
and unmotivated.
i want to be in haiti and i want it to be the week after spring break. actually, easter break would be nice right about now.
or seeing unwed sailor somewhere would be even nicer right about now.

sorry im not keeping up with this thing. it's been a crazy couple weeks.
went to louisville to see unwed sailor tonight with nate, kileigh, and jamin. it was fun. the trip was close to 4 hours.
i knew it was gonna be good when i honestly almost started crying during a 30 second sound check. it was pretty incredible. beautiful music...very inspiring. breathtaking is a cheezy adjective but i would use it in this case. jonathan ford is an absolutely amazing bass player...nothing overly overly difficult, but just very perfect parts that are played very effectively. i said on the way home that i wouldnt mind cloning him and having him as my son. it was also enjoyable seeing them with nate. they are what inspired him to start playing instrumental music, and the title "..all you could do was shed a tear" actually deals with hearing them play...so it was cool to see what inspired him and be inspired myself as well. it was a very enjoyable evening. here are the rest of their tour dates, you need to go see them.

Valdosta, GA on march 12, 2003 at 1-UP.
Atlanta, GA on march 13, 2003 at the Earl.
Columbia, SC on march 14, 2003 at the New Brookland Tavern
Charlotte, NC on march 15, 2003 at the Tremont Music Hall (early show)
Chapel Hill, NC on march 16, 2003 at GO!
Lynchburg, VA on march 17, 2003 at the Grace Building, 3225 Old Forest Rd
(in the Winn Dixie Shopping Center, near Jazz Street Grille and Mudpuppy's - doors at 8)
Harrisonburg, VA on march 18, 2003 at the Court Square Theatre.
Philadelphia, PA on march 19, 2003 at Reset Art (Camac Street)
Pittsburgh, PA on march 20, 2003 at the Rex Theatre w/ Mary Timony
Columbus, OH on March 21, 2003 at Red-16
Akron, OH on march 22, 2003 at The Lime Spider
Chicago, IL on march 23, 2003 at The Beat Kitchen w/ Early Day Miners
Minneapolis, MN on march 24, 2003 at TBC
Ames, IA on march 25, 2003 at The Maintenance Shop (memorial union room 007)

http://www.unwedsailor.net/

saw brandtson tonight. it was good and fun. here's what they have to say on their new cd.

i wonder if it's safe. it's no wonder i'm afraid. and i wonder if you'll stay. i wonder everyday. you're wonderful. you're wonderful. and i'm left here in awe. you're wonderful. you're wonderful. and i'm nothing at all. i wonder if you're real. do you wonder why you're here? there's no other way to feel. you're wonderful to me

if you read the worship post i deleted...this is along the lines of what i was thinking. simply beautiful. time to get working.

long time no update. more to come.

"I got you Immodium. Don't be afraid to use it if you get the runs.
Love, Dad"

hmm, lots to talk about.
i got my history test back. i got a 51 - i dont know if that's percent or what...all i know is that it's a C+ with the curve!!!!!! i was incredibly pleased! especially when i heard about the kid who studied his butt off got a B-, a kid who was in my boat that got D-, and the kid who sits next to me who pays attention and takes notes but didnt study who got a D. god answered my prayers of desparation.
speaking of history, today was the first class i stayed awake for the whole time and actually took notes for all 50 minutes! ohh yeah.
i found out about PA..i didn't get the job, but my good buddy noah did. i guess a teensy part of me is a little disappointed, but all in all i am relieved and pleased. i just havent had much of a desire to do it and was worried i'd be faced with the decision of doing that or intern. it's a long story of jumbled emotions that i wont explain, but i am relieved.
so my not-so-pleasant week has just gotten a lot easier.
im still writing 2002 on everything..checks, papers, etc. granted, that's expected the first week of january when everyone's in that transition period, but come on, march???? whats even weirder is i keep writing the month as september. for some reason september is just in my head. maybe i should get some more sleep.
remind me to talk about worship some other time. that'll be a doosey.
erica gets here tonight (hopefully) which is totally awesomely sweet.

oh, now i remember.
so tonight, im typing this paper, right, minding my own world history business.
out of absolutely NOWHERE, comes the memory of this jamaican kid who was quakertown christian's arch nemesis when it came to soccer. this kid was amazing, he would do like bicycle kicks over all of us and dribble it from one end of the field to the other and score like it was his job. he was a miniature pele that somehow ended up at penn christian academy. but i CANNOT remember his name. neither could paashaus. adam...or any other QCS people (are there any?) that can remember his name...PLEASE tell me..it's driving me nuts.
but what was weird is how it popped into my head out of nowhere. really weird. really really weird.
ok bye.

so much to say.
nostalgia night went well behind the scenes all in all. a good first show for the new sound man. fun was had by all.
my paper is done, hooray.
coldplay is awesome. they are my personal most underrated band. i dont mean underrated by others, but underrated by me. probably underrated by others too, but they're catching on quick.
tomorrow is a big concert that im working for. jared cheek, booker of TU shows, made the mistake of putting "very loud" on the work order. unfortunately jerry "i walk around with a rain cloud over my head and it is my goal to ruin everyone elses day too" stair got a hold of it. he informed me last night that he WILL be helping me with it tomorrow night. "they told me it was gonna be very loud...ooooh no it wont...not in my house...we've got a limit of 100 dB and i'll make sure they wont push it past that...blah blah blah" so, it will prove to be an interesting night. i have a feeling i will get sick of him awfully quick.
tomorrow i find out about PA and potentially Intern as well. i'm scared to death.
i know there was more to talk about. oh well.
goodnight.

hey mercedes is a good good good band too.

so i just realized i have a 5-8 page paper due tomorrow morning in history class. what happened to working my butt off in there after i most likely failed the first test? it's gonna be a long night. man oh man.
there was something else i had to complain about..i forget though.
i cant wait for saturday. oh how i cant wait.

stavesacre is a good good band.

the following took place in my middle school class yesterday and it was funny.

the people (names have been changed so they dont know im talking about them):
schmabby: somewhat snobby, or perhaps feisty is a better word, a stereotypical suck-up goody two shoes.
schmad: rebellious, the kid in high school you dont want your daughter to date.

the background:
schmad is wearing a hat with two "earrings" pierced through the side of the brim. schmabby is intrigued.

the dialogue:
schmabby: (inquisitively, with a feisty tone) schmad, why is your hat pierced?
schmad: (matter of factly) because i took them out of my nipples last night.
schmabby: (with a look of horror and a tone of regret for asking) ooh.

the outcome:
schmabby minded her own business for the rest of the class time and didnt say a word to - or even look at - schmad or i.

this morning while teaching math class at upland elementary, i was more/less talking out of my buttox (pardon the expression) while students were working on word problems.
i said "draw pictures on your sheet if you need to figure it out in your head." i realized right when i said it. i was hoping nobody would catch it. but lo and behold, little michael in the front row says "figure it out in your head????" humbled, i smiled and nodded and shrugged my shoulders and said "i have no idea." and he said "poor choice of grammar!!" and i concured, "yep, you caught me."
kids say the darndest things.
piebald was just playing in the room, and i think the singer guy is more/less an elem. teacher. one of the songs has lots of little kids singing with him. when im a rock star im gonna have my kids sing on all my albums.
furthermore, when serene played here the drummer asked what i was studying.
me: "elementary education, actually."
drummer: (somewhat surprised) "oh..a noble profession."
me: (in my indie voice) "eh, it's no rock star, but it pays the bills."
drummer: hey, it allows for summer touring.
me: true, true.
he proceeded to tell me about a friend who taught kids and played out as well, and all the kids thought he was the absolute greatest.
so, problem solved, i guess.

tonight i worked from 4:30 pm to 1:00 am. im angry.

last night i went to bed at 3:30 AM. it made me feel like a college kid again. i havent done that since the first few weeks of my freshman year. when i was a freshman i could somehow do that like it was my job. not anymore. but it was fun. but today im really tired and i keep wondering why and then i remember i was up til 3:30 last night. whatever.
tonight i have to work at nostalgia night rehearsal from 4:30 til most likely 1:00 or so. it's gonna be rough. awfully rough.
there's talk of nate and i recording. that'd be totally sweet.
um. ok. ive got nothin.

the basketball team lost.
im getting absolutely positively NOTHING done tonight.

i just slept for an hour and a half. one of those naps where you wake up disorientented and feeling like you've slept for days. kinda nice. so now i guess im not going in to work tonight. nah.
ive got this bad pain in my back thats kinda making it difficult to breathe. is that a bad thing?

so tonight was wok night in the dc...an attempt by the "asian awareness association" to, i guess, make us aware of asians by serving us chinese food. now, im sure the food was great, but i can think of a lot more effective ways to make us aware of asians then by making us wait for 45 minutes in a crowded line just for a plate of food.

honestly...man...my bio prof i think is probably the best prof at this school. he is just so passionate and genuine...extremely intelligent and communicates well...challenging and motivating... i am privileged to have this semester with him. today he opened class with a 25 minute devotional...and you can just tell how authentic and passionate he is. so. yeah. i like bio.

blogs are fun.
here is where i waste most of my time.
and now you can too.

the asian sensation
jamin
travis
a homeless guy
j tillman
the rest of saxon shore
various members of ester drang
aaron weiss
mr. jurado
unwed sailor (not very exciting)
click on twothirtyeight and click on journal

ummmm ok thats enough.
goodbye.

notice me. thats all i ask.

just in case you dont read the comments...this is hilarious. IM adman468 and make fun of him:

hey bro....i got a sweet pair of sweatpant at walmart. Here's the key: you have to go to the maternity section to get a pair that doesn't have elastic on the bottom and are big enough to be hip. check it out. it worked for me. just don't tell anyone cause they'll prolly make fun of you. i know from experience. peace.
adam

but really, adam...what made you think to go to the maternity section? this intrigues me. so much so i just might try it out.

quote from 3/3/2003 12:02:15 AM:

"lets get this week started. its gonna be kinda busy, but for some reason im expecting it to be relaxing. word."

oh how naive i am.

ok, so i stole this from josh tillman of saxon shore but it's random and therefore funny... puddle of mudd

i wanted to get some sweatpants and wal mart today but couldnt find any i liked. i want to get some nice comfy ones without the elastic at the bottom. i shouldve just bought some and cut the bottoms up. but i didnt. which is just as well cuz i need to save my money so i can do something fun with erica this weekend. but anyway. if you see some nice sweatpants let me know.
raise the roof.

got to talk to erica today, which was nice. it's good to have her back in the same country. and i will see her in less than a week which is wonderful.

we had a haiti meeting tonight. we've gotten around 50% of our money which is great. im getting pretty excited..although i think we are all kind of naive as far as what it's gonna be like. we found out tonight that they use a generator a couple times a day...and theres no electric besides that. so once its dark, its dark. things like that, the tiny plane we're taking, and all kinds of stuff will make it an adventurous trip.

lets get this week started. its gonna be kinda busy, but for some reason im expecting it to be relaxing. word.

erica comes home from africa today...wahoo!

titus 3:3-5 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.

how often christians turn up their noses in self righteousness, condemning those they see as immoral, all the while forgetting what they once were like, or even forgetting what they are like presently. the only difference between these immoral people and these christians is the grace of god. hypocrisy is a cancer eating away at the church, destroying its light and witness. this isnt a call to accept and condone immorality, but rather a call to reach out to those people in love and compassion just as christ reached out to us in love. a call to get to know them and reach them on their level. a call to show the grace that has been shown to us.

hmm.

+Not even those who are circumcised obey the law, yet they want you to be circumcised that they may boast about your flesh. May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is a new creation. gal. six.
+For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. eph. two.
+Where, then, is boasting? It is excluded. On what principle? On that of observing the law? No, but on that of faith. For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from observing the law. rom. three.

it was a good day.
jamin and i worked out. but dont tell anyone.
we ate lunch.
i sat around.
went to the basketball game. we heckled marian with all that was within us. the refs were bad. marian was cocky. luckily they were terrible in the second half. we hit a 3 to tie it and send it to overtime. we dominated and won by 6. going to the championship. unfortunately i dont think i can go.
i ate dinner.
went to su's show. absolutely incredible. i am humbled to call him my friend and be involved with his work. i am truly blessed.
watched royal tennenbaums. took a nap in the middle of it, but other than that, enjoyable as usual. (thank you jamin.)
tomorrow i will be going to church for the first time in a while which will be nice. i miss muncie alliance.
i love you all.
thank you, goodnight.

It is a basis for your heartfelt hunger so gaze at the page at the faces of nameless...
You're alone again and this distortion is an apt replacement for an unquenchable desire for more
more pages strewn across this sickening floor
I can't look at any of this
Oh how her heart it would bleed
If she only knew those abusive roots
And how the children would weep
If they only saw what those eyes have seen
It always keeps us longer than we wanted to stay
It always takes us further than we wanted to go
But you don't seem to mind at the time
Innocence. . .sold out to. . .addiction
It's inside you and your soul is longing, yearning
Pleading to be set free
Within our eyes there could never be a more complete perversion of what we were meant to be
And with all that is in me I hate this
As we're sinking inside this ever-feeding illness
We are all quite silent
Sitting still

(project 86)

so dale and the boyz move to the big apple tomorrow. id be lying if i said i wasnt worried about him/them. but i wish them the best of luck. whatever that means.

god is totally looking out for me and thats pretty nice of him. i prayed last night that he would get rid of my overnights tonight. lo and behold, one kid didnt show up, and another decided to go home. so i was able to go over to kileighs with nate and jamin which was fun.
jamin and i might be working out tomorrow morning. we're such studs. playoff game at 3. su's art show at 6. should be a fairly fun day.
this is a much needed weekend.