you come home from school and everyone stops reading your blog. oh well.
the interview at ymca wasnt so hot. the lady was extremely unprofessional and just plain stupid. first she made me wait for 45 minutes before she saw me. to make a long story short i'd work 30 hours a week - funky hours at that - for only 6 dollars an hour. i said thanks but no thanks. so time to keep looking or settle for the golf course. we'll see.
i got an organ from dale today. it's exciting.
i passed a burial this morning. it was just like the movies cuz there is a slow, cold rain today. seemed very fitting. ive been thinking about it, and im not sure if i want to rain or not when i die. if everyone were like me, i'd want it to rain, but i know it would depress everyone, so maybe i'll opt for sunshine. im talking nonsense.
i went to ham's little car wash today. not like a car wash does any good to my beauty, but it was a good cause. im proud of ham. for those of you who dont know him, which is everyone, he's a cool cat i went to school with, we're 3 years apart. he's started this little club called origins to orange juice. they get together and chat about controversial topics and they have a little newsletter and stuff like that. its rare to find a thinking christian these days, and even rarer to find a thinking christian in high school, and even rarer to find a thinking christian in high school that has the motivation to do something about it and try to make a difference. way to go ham.
im taking the first step in painting and redoing my room. trying to get all the tape marks off my walls. it's impossible and laborious. oh well.
later onnnnnnnnn.

i was just listening to a new slick shoes song...sounds awesome. i still havent bought their last album though...im a little behind. ive always been a big fan of theirs, though. im really happy to see them on side on dummy now...next to the bosstones, suicide machines, flogging molly, casualties....thats awesome. hooray.
in related news, i just realized i can finally download mp3's again. if only this computer were a little faster.

the beach was pretty fun. the weather was pretty crappy but we enjoyed ourselves nonetheless. i really enjoy hanging out on the beach in pants and a sweatshirt when it's cold and cloudy. there was a nice thunderstorm or two as well. we went out to eat at some nice places...the nicest being a mexican place called 3 amigos...it was delicious. another highlight was seeing a one legged seagull while trying to make it eat a hot dog roll from our hands from our balcony. then a seagull pooped on my head, i guess, but we didnt notice until we were getting into the elevator later and wes and roshelle and erica felt the need to tell all the people in the elevator about it. i was kinda embarassed. so, that was about it i think. it felt good to relax and giggle a lot.
there are a lot of good shows this summer and i want to go to them but im sure they will come and i'll say "eh..whatever" and i'll pass them by. especially if i work at the golf course, i dont think i'll want to be getting up at 5:00am the day after a show. we'll see. morella's forest...saxon shore...further seems forever...elliot and mae...*sigh*. we'll see.
jamin - morella's forest is the 14th i think. i'll most likely be there since it's a saturday. i'll let you know.

off to VA beach. have great weeks.

im home. it's kinda weird, but nice. the house is a lot smaller than morris. its hitting me more than usual this time. the doors that are light, small hallways, etc. whatever.
the show was pretty good thursday night. we had fun and i guess that's all that counts. stuff with sound was really frustrating, but we made do. it was freezing cold, which caused almost everyone to leave by the end of the concert. our hands were freezing, we couldnt see our frets, and ben couldnt hear us, so we played pretty sloppily. the slide show came together nicely, but it was hard to see on the screen and it blew over once or twice too, so it wasnt anything incredible. so, i guess all in all the show wasnt that great, but we had fun. it was one of those times where you wanted to make it something really sappy and sentimental, but it just didnt happen. hard to believe that could have possibly been the last show i played with nate and we just kinda shrugged it off. oh well. but yeah, it was fun.
now im trying to get moved back in, although that is kinda difficult cuz im gonna paint my room and stuff, so i dont want to get TOO moved in.
trying to find a job.
going to the beach with erica's family next week. its supposed to rain the whole time.
um, i think thats all.
im out.

apparently i have the director of taylor university admissions reading my blog now. talk about pressure. hi steve.

practice last night was great. ben is doing really well on drums. we kept the poor guy out and away from his wife until 1am...felt kinda bad about that. right now im burning cd's for nate cuz he's super busy. hopefully erica can help cut out and fold inserts when she gets here. im really excited for the show...i have yet to see the slides but from what i hear it will be pretty cool. hopefully people will show up.
im closing in on my packing. going home feels like this big pilgrimage. especially when you live in PA, i guess. but it's like a 3 or 4 day affair. started a couple days ago and wont get home til tomorrow night. oh well.
i guess you can tell whats important to a guy by what he leaves to pack up last...in my case: stereo, computer, and toiletries.
im really excited to get home, but not too excited to sort out summer job crap. wahoo.
im out. gotta get back to burning cd's. i couldnt resist posting on here, and i caused an error on the cd i was burning. oops. thats what happens when you're burning at the fastest speed possible. time to try again. later on.

history is finally over. hallelujah. we graded the tests in class and i got a B-. not bad, i guess. we got back our 3rd paper and i got another Pass+...that's 3 out of 3 for the pass pluses...only one other girl got 1 that i know of. hopefully those will bring my grade in the class up to a B or B+. and i'll get 10 bonus points for reading all of his book, so that will help out a bit too. we'll see.
time to start packing up. the couch is already gone. kinda weird.
my cross pen showed up! i lost my nice pen with my name engraved in it and all at the beginning of the year, and i came back and it was laying on the floor. it must have been stuck in the couch. what a pleasant surprise.
im out.

im back to the old system where i refuse to do anything because i have to study and then i dont actually study and i dont actually do anything either and so now i fail my history final and didnt even have fun with friends instead. it will be good to have summer.

kinda sad that the first time history has ever been made interesting and enjoyable to me is a review session for a final run by a junior history major with no teaching background whatsoever.
i got an A on my abortion paper. i knew you were wondering.

my bio prof had one thing to say about our kangaroo: "kangaroos dont have tails like that." i knew i should have fixed it.
i asked him if he got my test and he just stared at me. i told him i didnt ask if he was going to grade it, i just asked if he got it. he said quietly, "yes, i got it." he later said it was hard to grade because of all the footprints and smudges that were on it from laying on the floor of his office. then he muttered something about 25%, F's, and seeing me next year.
i hope he was kidding.

my apologies for the lack of anything interesting to say.
i had my first final today in jr. high/middle school and it was fairly easy. the small amount of studying i did was appropriate.
today is a busy day and tomorrow i have my history final which will take quite a bit of studying. although, quite a bit of studying for me means like...an hour. we'll see.
nate and i are getting things together for the show. i guess i havent really mentioned it on here. but we're playing thursday night, 8:15, outside at the sammy statues here, and the hip slide show thinger is still on. if you actually read this and you're around, come.
thats really all. goodbye.

so, i was in charge of making a 6' 6" kangaroo out of cardboard for my biology project. it looks like a fat squirrel giving birth.

"*sigh*...if coldplay were a wanton woman, i would be led astray."
-kyle mangum

i forgot to mention that this morning in church the woman leading worship started the service by saying "i was just thinking, as we fart...er...start...." it was funny.

i just described pax217 to kyle as what you'd get if you would mix 311, P.O.D. and stinky, slimy american cheese that's been left in the back of the fridge too long. i think it fits.

keep writing your paper jamin. :-D

ive picked up Brennan Manning's "The Ragamuffin Gospel" again...i wasn't impressed last year...but lately ive realized i need to give it a second chance. after the first chapter, i know it as written for the likes of me...its just a matter of getting it down that darn journey to my heart and ultimately my life.

-> Our huffing and puffing to impress God, our scrambling for brownie points, our thrashing about trying to fix ourselves while hiding our pettiness and wallowing in guilt are nauseating to God and are a flat denial of the gospel of grace. Our approach to the Christian life is as absurd as the enthusiastic young man who had just received his plumber's license and was taken to see Niagara Falls. He studied it for a minute and then said, "I think I can fix this."

-> [Paul Tillich says], "Grace strikes us when, year after year, the longed-for perfection does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy and courage. Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying: 'You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that which is greater than you, and the name of which you do not know. Do not ask for the name now; perhaps you will find it later. Do not try to do anything now; perhaps later you will do much. Do not seek for anything, do not perform anything, do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.' If that happens to us, we experience grace." And grace calls out: youa re not just a disillusioned old man who may die soon, a middle-aged woman stuck in a job and desperately wanting to get out, a young person feeling the fire in the belly begin to grow cold. You may be insecure, inadequate, mistaken, or potbellied. Death, panic, depression, and disillusionment may be near you. But youa re not just that. You are accepted. Never confuse your perception of yourself with the mystery that you really are accepted.

-> Jesus comes not for the super-spiritual but for the wobbly and the weak-kneed who know they don't have it all together, who are not too proud to accept the handout of amazing grace.

-> Because salvation is by grace through faith, I believe that among the countless number of people standing in front of the throne and in front of the Lamb, dressed white robes and holding palms in their hands, I shall see the prostitute from the Kit-Kat Ranch in Carson City, who tearfully told me she could find no other employment to support her two-year-old son. I shall see the woman who had an abortion and is haunted by guilt and remorse but did the best seh could faced with grueling alternatives; the businessman besieged with debt who sold his integrity in a series of desperate transactions; the insecure clergyman addicted to being liked, who enver challenged his people from the pulpit and longed for unconditional love; the sexually-abused teen molested by his father and now selling his body on teh street, who, as he falls asleep each night after his last 'trick,' whispers the name of the unknown God he learned about in Sunday School; the deathbed convert who for decades had his cake and ate it, broke every law of God and man, wallowed in lust and raped the earth...

and thats just the first chapter.
have a good sabbath.

sixers lost. it was a terrible game. im sad.
its a boring friday night. we had big dreams for it and all of them have been lost.
im tired.
my bio prof told us to turn our tests in before 5:00. he said "make sure you get them in before 5..and dont come and slide it under my door or hang it on the door or anything like that...just get it in before 5:00." i was talking on the phone with erica at 6:15. she asked if i turned in my bio test. i said "yep.....OH CRAP!" and realized i had completely forgotten. so i went over to nussbaum at 6:30 and slid it under his door just like he told us not to. i wrote a note that will hopefully redeem myself: "dr. moore...i realize i am irresponsible and a terrible student. i completely forgot to turn this in and am now forced to do exactly what you told us not to. please forgive me as christ forgave you. or give me an F. either way. thanks...nate" we'll see.

"Constraint is the negation of all spiritual life. We can help others by telling them of our experiences and convictions. But let us have the honesty to tell them of our failures and doubts as well. Above all, we must beware of the natural inclination which makes us think that others must come to faith by the same road as ourselves. If we exert any sort of pressure upon them, we shall inevitably harm them. Pressure of that kind will either force their decision, in which case we shall be usurping God's place; or else it will arouse their resistance, and we shall become for them an obstacle of faith."
-Paul Tournier

"When we want to correct someone usefully and show him he is wrong, we must see from what point of view he is approaching the matter, for it is usually right from that point of view, and we must admit this, but show him the point of view from which it is wrong. This will please him because he will see that he was not wrong but merely failed to see every aspect of the question."
-Blaine Pascal

i finally finished my bio test after about 3 or 4 hours.
nate and i just had one of the most beautiful practices. we played for about 50 minutes, song after song, every song we knew, no pauses, no speaking to each other...we didnt plan it that way...it was just how it came out. i think we were both realizing this was one of the last times we'd play together. i dont know. it was just really cool. i could hear the symphony accompanying us in my head. one of those times where everything else you've been thinking about or worried about fades away...where you want to cry but the tears wont come...where you feel that deep sense of unspoken comradery...
he'll be missed.

im in a mostly bad mood tonight, i think. i think the majority of it has to do with the concert going on tonight. some dude named shane barnard is playing. i dont know much about him except that the genre of music he plays is described as "worship" and he rolled in in a purple shiny tour bus that is bigger than my house. i just get frustrated with it i guess. i just dont like the fact that people make money off of worship...they are transformed into superstars because they worship well??? and im not sure what is right and what i should be thinking. i probably shouldnt be getting this upset about it...but...whatever. i may go over to see josh garrels, but, other than that, i'll stick in my room and finish my bio test and let the rest of the campus mindlessly go to this concert and raise their hands and then shell out all their cash to this guy and go back to their dorms talking about how amazing he is...etc...etc...etc...
i apologize for my bad attitude. i could go into more detail about all of my thoughts...but...thats not necessary. i cant articulate it very well anyway. but if you disagree with me please think about it and tell me what you think.

i suppose sometimes god likes to slap us in the face........

-but just experiencing god's wonder and grace didn't seem to mean much - most of them were defeated by temptation during the hard times in the desert, and god was not pleased.
-the same thing could happen to us. we must be on guard so that we never get caught up in wanting our own way as they did.
-we must never try to get christ to serve us instead of us serving him; they tried it, and god launched an epidemic of poisonous snakes.
-we are just as capable of messing it up as they were. dont be so naive and self-confident. you're not exempt. you could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. forget about self-confidence; it's useless. cultivate god-confidence.
-no test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. all you need to remember is that god will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.
-i dont want you to become part of something that reduces you to less than yourself. and you cant have it both ways, banqueting with the master one day and slumming with demons the next. besides, the master wont put up with it. he wants us - all or nothing. do you think you can get off with anything less?
....bits and pieces of 1 corinthians 10...the message translation

(this is a link)

(i hope we have ourselves an understanding.)

it has been brought to my attention that not everyone knows that the little highlighted words are links. when i said "sweet mercy yes"...that was a link. click on it. this is a link (and my future place of employment, and severely outdated). hope that clears things up. happy surfing.

this is pretty amusing. thanks travis.

its hard to believe 2 years are almost over. even harder to believe i'll be saying goodbye to some good friends and chances are i'll lose touch with them or the touch we do keep will be extremely vague, superficial, and awkward.
they seriously need to consider revamping this whole college thing. classes and the large work load, i mean, i guess they're the point of college, but nobody likes college because of the classes. i dont know. i wish there was just a way to live with your friends for four years without constantly wishing it away and neglecting to take advantage of the precious time together. i just feel like im missing something. like im not making the most of it or something, mostly because i just want to graduate. and i hate that. i dont know. like, we could all be learning a lot more from each other if we werent stuck in our bedrooms studying or working or doing whatever and if we werent wishing this time away because we're stressed out because of those things. i dont know. whatever. im an idiot. goodbye.

the girls in my bio group decided to give everyone in the group nicknames. they meant to call me narcoleptic because i always fall asleep. they got a little confused and called me narcissistic. i laughed.

the influence of sigur ros is very apparent on the new saxon shore record. that's my musical input for the day.

yoder and i went to taco bell tonight.

what we ordered:
2 mexican pizzas
1 grilled burrito
1 supreme taco
1 cheesy gordita crunch
1 mountain dew

what we got:
2 mexican pizzas
1 grilled burrito
1 supreme taco
3 cheesy gordita crunches
1 chili and cheese burrito
1 regular gordita
1 order of tortilla chips with nacho cheese
1 choco taco
1 mountain dew
1 pepsi

we had to wait 20 minutes for it. part of it is that its two guys trying to balance 50 million orders and they naturally mess up. another part of it is that they throw in extra stuff for making us wait so long. ive never been impressed with taco bell's service...but tonight, we made out alright.
and we ate it all in a matter of 15 minutes. personally, i took 1 mexican piza, the supreme taco, 1 cheesy gordita crunch, the regular gordita, the chili and cheese burrito, half the chips, the choco taco, and the mountain dew. and now we're sick and are sure to have some pretty messed up dreams. and i wonder why my blood pressure is high.

i know what grace is, and i know its what im forgetting, but its that long journey i mentioned...filled with road blocks and pot holes and traffic jams.

oh sweet mercy yes.

everyone's doing these big long "school year in review" things...i cant even remember last week let alone september.

make me savior wholly thine may thy holy spirit fill me may i know thy power divine

today in chapel i discovered two things. it was an honors chapel - recognizing all these people and giving awards and stuff like that. well, first, apparently im a leader. i received a certificate of merit in leadership. radical. second, apparently my name has officially become 'Nate.' kinda weird. i dont really know when it happened. but my crew nametag says nate, my teachers call me nate, and the official sophisticated honors chapel program says nate, so it's officially official i guess.
im talking nonsense.

i just found out in bio lab that my blood pressure is 135/78. i guess it isnt terrible...but maybe i should start exercising? *sigh*
i cant wait for summer.
i wish i would like to read and had time to. there's a large list of books i wouldnt mind getting through. *sigh*
whatever.
im tired.
goodbye.

band of the _______ link has been changed. go support cool hand luke. cheezy christian lyrics have never sounded soooo good.

half hearted and wishy washy
its been nineteen years that i've been filling my mind with knowledge. but we all know the distance from our heads to our hearts is a long, hard journey. and i must confess i just dont get it. the second i'm making progress is the second my heart gives up and goes back to the monotony of pumping blood. and there's days it all makes sense. there's days where nothing could be any better. but when im standing firm, i wake up the next day forgetting to be careful. i wish i could see the innocent lamb of the old covenant being slaughtered on my behalf. but even then, its doubtful my stubborn heart would budge. perhaps seeing the spotless Lamb sacrificed would do my heart well. i can only sit here and imagine...but only for so long before the busy world calls me back to the things that are more important. and how easily the lies pour from our lips. 'it's easier to sing lies than to speak them.' and so i stand among my peers, mouthing empty words of things i could only hope to be, all the while knowing what is more important is what seems so unattainable. most everyone is a disciple in the mind, but just a hypocritical pharisee in the heart.
and all of these are just ignorant utterances of a human mind that will never understand.
in the end, i guess (and hope) im just a work in progress. but progress is an extremely relative word.

two of my biggest pet peeves are when people call my girlfriend "your girl" and devotions "my devo's."

saturdays like these are quite nice.
woke up at 9:30 to work at 10. taylathon was canceled, but we didnt know that til about 11:30 or so. so my boss and i drove around in the rain on one of those gator cart thingers for a while until they finally decided to cancel. there were some pretty large thunderstorms. oh the excitement.
i came back and went to bryce and su's room thinking they were going to lunch. jamin was there as well. they were doing the its-a-sleepy-rainy-saturday-morning-lay-in-bed-all-day-and-watch-tv thing. i was pleased to join them for a little bit, but it wasnt quite the same cuz i had been awake for some time and wasnt in a nice warm bed with comfy covers. jamin and i decided to ditch them and go to lunch instead of ordering a pizza and paying for it.
after lunch it started to clear up, we decided to go off-roading. we went to this quarry type place and boy was it muddy. kyle had never taken his jeep off-roading before, and he did quite well. noah took his jeep as well and su went in his truck. well, 2 minutes into it, noah followed us down this rather steep hill with large ruts and gushing water on one side. he didnt dodge it quite enough and to make a long story short, bottomed out on this large mud pit. his tires were in two ruts, only 2 opposite tires were barely touching the ground, and the rest of his jeep was just resting on the ground. we tried to get him out for 2 hours straight and decided to give up. so, his jeep is still sitting there. we're hoping for a mud slide or something.
then i took a shower.
then i went to jamin's room and ended up taking a nap. the first half was in the fetal position and the second half was spread out on the futon. it was a pleasant experience.
i skipped dinner. im going to be hungry tonight.
everyone's gone on pick-a-dates and the like and im left here alone. perhaps i'll get homework done or some of the other things i need to do. i'd like to watch a funny movie. we'll see. the night is young. kind of.

i was right...it has been cancelled...something about a tornado? i dont know.

maybe today isnt such a good day for taylathon?

i'm tallying my regrets (and leaving them behind)
no condemnation now i dread; jesus and all in him, is mine!
alive in him, my living head, and clothed in righteousness divine,
bold i approach the eternal throne,
and claim the crown, through christ my own.
-mr. wesley, 1738

"commercials confuse me these days. i see a commercial on tv and at the end it finally shows the word nike, and i say 'what the frick did that have to do with nike?'"
-jay kesler, chancellor of taylor university, today's chapel message

let it be known, that on this day, friday, may 9th, 2003, i have officially predicted that brandtson will sign with militia group records in the very near future. this is a pure hunch, and when it is proved correct, my awesomeness will be proven in blazing glory.

unfortunately, our toilet paper mission has been postponed. im assuming because of the rain.

just found out that our show has been canceled because there cant be any activities during finals week. give me a break. so we're trying to figure out ways to make it work...beat the system..the man cant hold us down. here's hoping.

today's kind of a busy day. class til 1, lunch, office from 3-5, admissions picnic at 5:30, and then i think im free til 1 in the morning.
i found out yesterday i have to write a 3 page test on any subject for tomorrow. what in the world. i have no idea what im supposed to do for that one. we'll see.
at 1am a bunch of us are going over to the director of admissions house to toilet paper his property in honor of his 40th birthday. im quite excited. its the first time i've ever "TP'd" (thats what the veterans call it) someones house..and to do it to one of the most influential men at taylor is just kind of...enjoyable, i guess. i suggested breaking into his bedroom and standing over him with a revving chainsaw and mask and sending his daughter into the room with ketchup smeared all over her face...but no one seemed to think that was a good idea. go figure.
so i'll be out til 2:00ish/2:30ish with that, and then i have to wake up at 7:15 to help my incompetant boss set up for chapel. oooohhhh boy that should be fun. the logical thing to do would be to not go out at 1:00 to vandalize someone's house...but this is college and its about time i loosen up and have some fun.
thats all i think.

i was wearing my further seems forever shirt today. the shirt has a line from one of their songs. tonight at dinner i was standing at line at the deli, and a girl ive never met looks at me and says, "good song." what do you say to that?!? come on!!! i stammered my way around and i think i finally shrugged and unassuredly said "um...thanks? i didnt write it. but...i agree. i guess."
im so smooth.

i was informed tonight that 3 freshmen have officially nicknamed me "the skinny fat man."
thanks guys, i'm honored.

i know you've all been really disappointed with my lack of postings. sorry.
chapel was mostly lame today, it consisted of seniors reminiscing and stuff. it was great and all, but, im not sure why it was a chapel service. there are a few things i'd like to say about some of the musical performances, but, it'd probably be best to keep those to myself.
the last person to share was a kid named drew who lives on the brotherhood (the 3rd floor of my hall, most well known for being disrespectful wild and crazy vandals). if im not mistaken, he is known as the pope on this floor, which is basically one of their leaders, thats all. he's an awkward kid...always wears shirts that are way too big with the sleeves dangling way past his hands, has long nappy hair and a receding hairline and john lennon glasses. i didnt know much about this kid, never talked to him, never met him, just recognize him as one of the ring leaders of broho, which isnt necessarily an esteemed position. so i was surprised to see him take the stage and share some thoughts...not only is he extremely awkward, he just doenst have a very good reputation. he went on to share humorous reflections with brilliant, eloquent language, expressing himself beautifully and perfectly. he eventually shared about sitting in the dean of students office, being told that it appeared that there was no reason for him to be at taylor. he went on to confess that he had no idea what purpose these last 4 years held and no brilliant words of wisdom to share with his fellow seniors...he just knew there was a purpose...and went on to express heartfelt gratitude to professors, faculty, and floormates. i honestly have never heard a student express himself so well. i was quite impressed.
and so, i think he provided some redemption of reputation for the brotherhood and morris hall in general today. it was good to see him up there. he received a very long applause afterwards...a rare display of respect and admiration from the entire campus. wow.
i guess you had to be there. sorry i cant explain better.
on a different note i really do not enjoy my math for teachers class. the professor is so boring and dull and makes terrible jokes and just doesnt relate to us very well at all. anyway, he made some kind of cheezy joke, as usual, and i made one of my quiet sarcastic laughs as usual. a few minutes later he approached me and said "nate, can you come see me later this afternoon?" i told him when i was finished and that i would be in. i was extremely nervous, thinking he had somehow heard my sarcasm, thinking he was going to confront me about my poor attitude. i was scared, but knew i had it coming...and that fear was probably the first time i realized how poorly ive treated him and that class. well, it turns out he just wanted to tell me how much he enjoyed the last reflection paper i wrote on how a few verses in ephesians related to math and he asked permission to use it in a conference he is speaking at in the near future. i was stunned. and honored. and ashamed. i felt like a pretty big hypocrite, writing this great paper on god's love and meanwhile treating him like crap in and out of the classroom. i guess i should have apologized, but we all know how poorly i do at things like that, so, i just humbly walked out of his office with a vow to hopefully do better.
we'll see.

"October 19 was one of the more memorable day sin 1999. The World Wrestling Federation (WWF) and Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia both went public, so it was Martha Stewart versus "Stone Cold" Steve Austin in a Wall Street version of MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch. Proving that good taste (usually) triumphs, it was a clear smack-down as Martha Stewart gained 98% on the first day compared to 48% for the WWF."
-Kyle's sophisticated finance text book

ode to the lack there of
determination is a rare breed.

oh. nathaniel su show tentatively monday the 19th. so...if you go to taylor, come..if you dont come to taylor, make the road trip, it'll be fun. there will tentatively be an enjoyable addition..namely..an accompanying slide show. woohoo. we'll see what we can pull together.

switchfood did well on craig kilborn last night. i was proud.
unfortunately staying up to watch them meant staying up late. and now im really really tired.
i have a tour at 11. today im going with, for the first time ever, my white dress shirt with khakis. i like it. i never wear this white shirt, probably because it hasn't fit me since, like, 8th grade...but then again, what dress shirt do i own that DOES fit? anyways. nothing like trying something new, i guess. the girl im giving the tour to is from the pennsburg area, so, should be fun times. maybe i can convince her to date kyle. except she's probably a junior..but...love knows no age, right?
talk about work to do. thats me. way to put it off, shorb.

i'm tallying my regrets (and counting my blessings)
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Save your applause for the end of the show.
If I were you, I'd give up. The path is too narrow, the way is too steep.
Count it a blessing, that you're such a failure. Your second chance might never have come.
-mr. bazan

oh, and at the zoo, we were at the kodiak bear exhibit. now these are big bears mind you. 10 feet tall and 1,600 pounds. but they were just laying near the back of their little place and we wanted to see them. so i yell at the top of my lungs "HEY BEAR!" and surprisingly one more/less jumped up. bears that big dont exactly jump up, but he got up pretty quick for a bear of his size. he turned around and looked at me, looked around, stared me down a little, and then plopped himself right back down where he was to begin with. i was prepared to fight him, and then i saw the huge bone of raw meat he was gnawing on, and that kind of intimidated me.

today i went to the indianapolis children's museum and zoo for my biology class. it was a beautiful day for it. as a whole, it wasnt anything too enjoyable. children's museums are kinda laborious...they are exciting and you want to do everything but you want to do everything so badly that you dont take the time to read things and actually figure out what you're doing at all the little exhibits and activities. and when you do take the time to read it and actually do it, it's broken. they had a big music exhibit which featured a car from U2's zoo TV tour and lots of cool pictures of rock stars like the clash and rolling stones and cool 80's bands and stuff like that, so that was fun. there was karaoke which we participated in and whatever. that was probably the highlight of the museum.
zoo's are the kinds of places that you think are gonna be so awesome before you go, and then you get there and you just look at animals laying there, and you just kinda say "is this all?" i wasnt too impressed.
nevertheless it was a valuable trip in seeing all the resources they offer to teachers. if im planning a field trip i can go to the places for free ahead of time to plan things out. so thats sweet. although, from what i just said, i guess i wouldnt really want to go anyway? whatever.
busy night tonight...working on my bio project...floor video...crew meeting...switchfoot on craig kilborn...blah blah blah.
ooo, and i was hired for IFC which i guess is exciting. i figured i wouldnt get hired which would make me 3 for 3 in the area of rejections and i would be able to just shrug it off since im so used to it, but someone actually likes me i guess. haha. should be a fun time.
later on homies.

i'm tallying my regrets (and losing count)
the taste of my foot is becoming awfully bland...perhaps one day i'll be able to keep it out of my mouth. if only there was a way to turn back the clock and rearrange a few things...although, i probably wouldn't get much else accomplished...i would be a busy man. it's the moments when your brain just isn't working right...it tells you to do something while the rational part of your brain is taking a breather. "that sounds like a great idea! thanks for the tip!" when the rational brain finally catches his breath (he's a busy guy), he realizes what you've done.
and somewhere along the line the word "sorry" lost all meaning. that empty little helpless feeling in your stomach the nagging that makes you feel like you don't have a stomach with the awkard lump in your throat the one that refuses to be swallowed and the salt water poking at your tear ducts when biting your lip just cant stop its force...that's what it means to be sorry. the feeling can never be adequately described with the english language.
and i guess when it all comes down to it, we're all moronic failures..idiots..losers in the game of life. but there's just some days when you feel like biggest one of all.
(..and rightfully so.)

well, call me mr. busy beaver. last night i wrote my 6 page history paper due tuesday and just now i finished my math assignment due wednesday. now all i really have to do work wise - as far as i know - is my huge bio project. no problem.
excitement for today consisted of kyle reading my copy of dr. seuss' fox in sox as fast as he could. we laughed quite hard.
thats really all i have to say. i just remembered i have to work tonight. phooey.

forget the weekend..there's work to do!

remodeling in progress.

im not planning on keeping this template, but thought i'd put it up for a day or two just because it's so dang freaky. just watch it for a little while. man it gives me the chills. in a heebie jeebie kind of way. ok bye. happy saturday.

just got a surprise overnight tonight. there goes my first free weekend in a while. i love how the guys who are actually on duty for this week can somehow dodge their way out of things and let the guys who arent on duty take them.
i think im moody today. i cant quite put my finger on what it is, either.
oh well.

blogger isnt working tonight so i have to write this in wordpad and copy and paste in the morning. the time is 1:18 AM.
i find myself being more of a loner or hermit or something like that more and more each day. im not sure what it is. part of it is busyness. part of it is laziness. part of it is being insecure and wanting others to make the move. part of it is just not feeling like putting the effort into relationships anymore. its probably mostly reasons 1 and 3. im not sure. i just havent been seeing much of anyone as of late. relationships are hard work, i suppose. and busyness just plain sucks. all of it, topped off with a desire to be shy and soft spoken, etc, and here i am secluding myself in my room. im lame, i know.
ive grown a large addiction to freecell. sounds pretty nerdy, i know, but it really is an intriguing game. who needs medal of honor or wolfenstein or any of the sim games when you've got good old fashioned freecell. it takes intelligence people. and im so addicted that, look, it's 1:00 in the morning. what do i do? no, of course i dont go to bed, i play a game of freecell. fortunately, i won, otherwise i'd be playing all night.
goodnight cyberspace.

sometimes i get to thinking about how much better life would be without computers. and yeah they do a whole lot of good, but, they do a heck of a lot bad. i mean, here i am, spilling my guts to a computer. maybe i should go talk to a real person for a change. stupid hermit tendencies. and stupid microsoft. lets move to haiti.
goodnight for real this time.

thanks for the holey socks, hanes...really appreciate that one.

chris staples is amazing and the unwed sailor artwork is so immaculate im afraid to touch it.

what a day for the ol mailbox! woohoo!
i got the new issue of HM which is jam-packed full of good stuff including further seems forever and ester drang. i got a little note patronizing me for helping with CVD or something cheezy like that. and i got a package slip, which was the best part. not just any package slip, but a package slip with the number 2 on it, meaning i got 2 packages. one was from burnt toast and one was from "EMO" canton ohio. i totally wasnt expecting either so it was really exciting. i got the artwork and packaging for the new unwed sailor i bought a while back - it is really really beautiful. and i finally got the chris staples cd that i bought a while back - the one that got yoinked right after i bought it. and with it, i got the lovedrug ep for free! a pleasant surprise.
so today is officially a good day.
thanks for asking.