Where does my help come from?

The folks--and I use that word literally--we are staying with are watching Walker Texas Ranger starring Chuck Norris with the volume up high, and its awkward and forced dialogue is making its way up to the loft and echoing through our bedroom. I'm trying to drown it out with headphones and the most soothing music I can find while sitting in front of a window with the blinds drawn to watch the bright lightning and sporadic rain.

When the folks had asked us what made the day difficult over a meal of pork and sauerkraut, we mentioned the interviews and reports. When they asked us what we were told, I decided there was no way to avoid it and came out with it frankly: "Well. . .I'm depressed." In one instant it was completely odd to be so open with these grandparents we hardly knew, but at the same time something felt quite right.

"Really? Well I wouldn't have guessed that," she said sweetly. "I knew you were quiet, but I wouldn't have said you were depressed."

I was already aware, I told her. No surprise, but still never easy to hear. And the reminder that God uses all sorts of people. And it's a good thing.

When we were born into sin, we were born into such a twisted complex web of deceitful quirks that would play all sorts of unimaginable evil tricks with our minds and inhibit us for the rest of our earthly lives. To untangle these, to make sense of them, and to press on in perseverance is an incredibly daunting, burdensome, and endless task.

The spirit's help is strong, steady, and sufficient. But change never comes quickly enough.

Less of me, God, less of me. I no longer live, but you live in me. So grow, taking precedence, growing brighter, making sense, sorting through, untangling, until no longer are my neurotic tendencies a barrier blocking the display of your glory.

Sustaining All Things

I taught the first three verses of Hebrews this past Sunday, where the mysterious author (my vote is for Priscilla, but that's another conversation all together) non-chalantly rattles off a laundry list of many attributes of Jesus Christ.

Because they seem so non-chalant, and it would be easy to simply nod your head in agreement and move on, it brought to mind the book I read my senior year in Honors US History with Dr. Messer, easily the most rewarding class of my college career. Richard Hughes, reflecting on the ideas of Tillich, says in How Christian Faith Can Sustain the Life of the Mind:

• “How often have we been guilty of transforming the Christian faith into a set of orthodox propositions that simply stand there in all their splendor and do nothing to connect us either to God or to the neighbor?”

• “There is nothing wrong with orthodox beliefs. But those beliefs must never become ends in themselves. We must affirm them so long as they are biblical and true, but we must at the very same time break through them to those realities to which every Christian doctrine finally points, namely, to God and to the neighbor.”

• He clarifies that the process of breaking through a particularity is not destroying that belief, but rather, “The paradox lies in the fact that when we affirm a particularity, we break through it at the very same time, only to affirm it again and break through it again, and on and on we go, simultaneously affirming and breaking through, affirming and breaking through…”

In the margin next to that last quote lies a note in my 21-year old handwriting declaring, "How beautiful!"

So I spent a lot of time in this study wondering how we could break through these little tid-bits of theology to the deeper truth of experiencing Christ. It's not an easy process.

But anyway, the attribute I found most powerful is that Christ "sustains all things by his powerful word."

He is actively and continuously sustaining, supporting, upholding, maintaining all things. As Paul says in Colossians, "In him all things hold together." It speaks of his power and sovereignty, but also of his active working.

Deists believe God created the world and set it up with natural laws, got it going, and has left it alone, untouched ever since, watching it from a distance. This passage completely opposes that idea. Now, as a friend pointed out, while few Christians claim to believe this Deist view, sometimes we slip into that mentality on a practical level. We believe God has left us to our own devices ever since the Fall of man, and we have to sit and bide our time as things grow progressively more evil, waiting for our only hope in the second coming of Christ. The author of Hebrews, in this short phrase, tells us this is not the case. Christ knows and he is working--upholding and maintaining--here and now.

And if that's not enough, realize this: The God who sustains everything by his powerful word--keeps the planets in their orbits by telling them to do so, for example--is actively sustaining you. He who began a good work in you--He who created the earth and now keeps it running--will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.

Time keeps going...

Another 3 graduate credits are down, taking me up to a respectable 12. I now know how to assess my students properly.

The newness of the Sigur Ros album I was raving about is wearing off. I got the new Death Cab for Cutie, and I wanted to turn it off in the middle of the first listen. Maybe I was in a bad mood, or maybe it's that bad, I'm not sure, but we're going to have to give it a second try. The new Coldplay, on the other hand, is very very enjoyable. It helped me wash the dishes in a jovial fashion last evening.

Last night consisted of a terrific tye-dye party. Such a fun thing to do; if only the end product were a bit more fashionable. The kit came with pillowcases, which will make lovely camping pillowcases in a few weeks if nothing else. I've been a lazy Flickr uploader, but I'm hoping to put some pictures up soon.

We went blueberry picking the other day and walked away with ten and a half pounds of blueberries. We'll freeze them and that should last about three years.

Our dresser started falling apart the other day, and what didn't fall apart, I pulled apart. I went to Loew's like I knew what I was doing, the only problem was, I didn't. Now I've got a dresser drawer in pieces strewn across our bedroom floor and no real, easy, good way to fix it. That's today's project, I suppose.

I've been working on one of my favorite hymn recordings yet. I got the drums recorded two days ago, which makes this the first of my recordings to ever make use of a full drum set (although I really only used 3 pieces of the set). I'm hoping to add bass today--after fixing the dresser, of course--and accordion somewhere down the road and one day I'll find a way to share it with you.

Tomorrow we leave for our week at WorldTeam. God has been good in providing many encouraging encounters in this past week in order to prepare us.

My old roommate Kyle gets married on Sunday and I am unable to be there. I'm excited for him, but just wish I could be there to see it.

What Buster Keaton Taught Me About Humor

Civic Theater is celebrating their 80th birthday this weekend, and they know how to throw a party. Last night, Erica and I went into Allentown to see Buster Keaton in the 1928 silent classic Steamboat Bill, Jr. with live organ accompaniment. As if that isn't a treat enough (maybe it doesn't sound like a treat to you, but I insist that if you gave it a try you'd think otherwise), admission was only five cents, popcorn was free, candy was a dollar, and the evening ended with free birthday cake and coffee. A party, indeed.

A good time was had by all, and I must admit I was completely surprised at how absolutely entertaining the movie was. Keaton really was a master. With his stone-faced expression and unassuming mannerisms, his acrobatic stunts and perfect comedic timing, his haphazard awkwardness and perfectly believable delivery, he kept all of us laughing. Erica and I walked away completely impressed, and realizing how much of today's "humor" is utterly lacking. I was quick to recognize that much more people were laughing louder and longer at Steamboat Bill than they were at my recent outing to Get Smart. And how many actors are quite literally willing to risk their lives for the sake of capturing one 11-second moment on film, no matter how memorable?

(Half the crew walked off the set because of the serious danger of that stunt, by the way.)

At the risk of sounding like an old fuddy duddy, we walked away wondering what we've lost and wishing we could have lived during that period of cinema to experience the pure joy and wonder of it all.

Last fall when I was teaching the book of Ephesians, I arrived at this little verse in chapter 5:

Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Foolish talk or coarse joking...what's that? Whatever it is, it seems to be pretty serious, listed right next to sexual immorality and impurity, and right next to people who aren't going to receive an inheritance in the kingdom of God.

As I studied, commentators discussed and complained all about dirty jokes and today's comedians and movies and sense of humor. I wanted to skip this all together because they all sounded so out of touch and old-fashioned. Besides that, I didn't want to admit that a lot of the things they were probably referencing were probably things I found quite funny and enjoyable. And for those reasons, I definitely didn't want to teach it, and risk sounding like an old-fashioned fuddy duddy myself, at only 24 years of age. (Not to mention that when Christians start talking about humor--good, clean jokes--it usually goes horribly horribly awry.)

But while giggling at Buster Keaton, I think I slowly began to realize what Paul and these guys I was studying were talking about. Today's crass humor--although, let us not be mistaken that it's only today's, as it's always been around--appeals to our utterly base human sinful nature. And even with its apparent sinfulness completely aside, it's worth pointing out that it's not even all that creative or thoughtful, but rather the easy way out. Anyone can make a joke about bodily functions of any sort--even kindergartners do it! We grow up, but our humor rarely does, instead growing progressively less mature, discovering new body functions to joke about, and turning every possible completely innocent phrase into something with a double (and dirty) meaning. In this way, we are corrupting, turning innocent into perverted and immoral, instead of restoring, turning sinful and broken into right and meaningful. Maybe that's why this form of humor is considered so sinful, as all of a sudden what seems like a simple joke turns into working in the completely opposite way Christ calls us to work, tearing down instead of building up.

But it's so easy for us to dismiss these things by saying, "Oh, I'm just joking..."

If God has a sense of humor like so many of us say he does, it's the truest form of humor, and it's completely creative and ironic and thoughtful and imaginative. With that, I would venture to say that Buster Keaton was acting in some way as a servant of God in his work. And why wouldn't we want to strive for the same?

(If you have a spare hour, you can watch all of Steamboat Bill, Jr. on YouTube in six segments, starting here.)

Transformers and Tibetans...

Just when you thought o little town of Bethlehem couldn't get any bigger after hosting Optimus Prime and the Transformers crew, we go and host the Dalai Lama for a week. Seriously! He just arrived!

You say you want a revolution...well...you know...

Check out NoiseTrade.com.

Lots of artists with their albums for download. Pay what you want. Or, simply spam three of your friends and get it for free.

When I heard about Derek Webb's more recent album up for download, I jumped at the chance, but wasn't too interested in any of the other offerings. Now that I found out Sixpence None the Richer has their reunion EP up for grabs, this just might be a website I keep my eye on.

And that's not all...subscribe to Paste Magazine with the same offer. Pay what you want!

When are we returning to France?

Lots of people have been asking that in the past few months. For those of you who use this blog to keep tabs on me personally (call me!), here's the scoop, which was recently posted over on our France blog after realizing it had been neglected for a while...

"Lots of people have been asking when we're going back. In case you're wondering too, we aren't quite sure. But starting on July 19th, we'll be at WorldTeam headquarters in Warrington, PA for about a week. While there, we'll be learning more about WorldTeam while they'll be learning more about us. They'll psycho-analyze us, pick our personalities apart, and tell us what's good and what needs to be worked on.

By the end of it, we're hoping to have some sort of direction for the future, which could possibly include an invitation to join the church planting work happening in the suburbs of Paris.

Other than that, it seems like lots of our church planting friends from France will be in the area this summer. We're hoping to spend some time with them, maybe hosting them, giving back some of the hospitality they showed us last summer."

Thanks for wondering. It's been fun reminiscing about our experience last summer. Just today I printed two photos to frame and hang in our dining room. (It's only taken me a year to get around to it!) The first, four characters hanging out by the Eiffel Tower. The second, a mesmerizing clarinet player who was performing outside the Picasso museum in Barcelona.

With an Icelandic Buzz In Their Ears They Play Endlessly...and Thank God for It!

Sigur Ros has done it again. I finally (after--what--3 long weeks since it was released?) picked up their new album (translated as With a Buzz in Our Ears We Play Endlessly) and just finished with my first listen.

I put my headphones on, and it was a short 4 seconds before I had a wide, uncontrollable grin on my face that lasted for minutes. The opener Gobbledigook is wildly new territory like much of the album, taking us on a care-free and joyful adventure.

My friend Kyle says that their ( ) album is his favorite winter album, and four tracks into this one, I was ready to declare this Sigur Ros's summer album, full of pure joy and playfulness. And while I'd be embarrassed to post the cover art here for my mom to see, (four relatively innocent tooshies, as I call them), these opening songs help the photograph to make perfect sense. It's a picture of the care-free joyful adventure on which track one starts us.

I was ready to say Sigur Ros's past albums were about beauty while this album is about joy. But while this one is definitely joyful, when I got to the second half of the album I realized it wasn't just joy. There's a full range of emotions that come following behind, the most notable being the soaring expanse of Ára Bátur, where I'm told 90 musicians are playing at once, including the London boys choir. That melting moment at 7:44 is exactly the reason why I say this music is a window to heaven. In my mind, when we're one day all singing Holy, Holy, Holy together, it will sound pretty close to this.

And maybe that's what I appreciate about Sigur Ros most. In their other-worldly tendency, they somehow inexplicably incorporate the full range of human emotions all within one hour-long experience, all the while pointing to something more, something bigger. In my mind, that's exactly what good music should do.

And I quite literally do thank God for this buzzing in my ear.

By the way, you can listen to a stream of the album at their site! Here!

More reviews...

Persepolis was lovely and highly recommended.

Get Smart was disappointing and lacking life.

On Obedience

It was not until college that I discovered the gospel of God's radical grace, flipping my view of Christianity upside-down, finally realizing that a walk with Christ was not a checklist of things to do in order to earn approval. It was an incredibly freeing reality.

In more recent years, that incredible love that God lavishes on us at times grew a bit stale. It didn't become any less true in my life, but it didn't capture my attention or bring me to rejoicing like it used to. It was just another bullet point in a list of commonplace bits of doctrine.

As I recently started delving into the book of First Peter, these words caught my eye: "...you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy..." They caught my eye mostly because they aren't exactly true of my life. When I had first discovered grace, sure, I was quite often filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy. But nowadays I'm not so sure that's the first way most people would characterize me. (No, usually when people address you as 'Eeyore' they're implying something else entirely.)

But two nights ago I was asked to share my story of faith with a group of believers. It was truly good to reflect on my walk with Christ. There are many things about it that concern me to this day for a variety of reasons, but aside from that, rehashing this story and sharing it with others brought God's radical grace to the forefront again, and all at once it was new and fresh and powerful and meaningful.

When Erica commented on my upbeatness later that night, I recognized it as inexpressible and glorious joy. And I thanked God.

In recent months and years then, perhaps partially in a reaction to checklist Christianity, I've insisted that a relationship with Christ is much less about doing things and much more about experiencing God, getting to know him, having fellowship with him, thinking about him. See this post for example.

There is a large amount of truth to this, I believe, but I was challenged in another direction recently. On family vacation, Wesley was reading and relaying some thoughts from Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship. He talked about how we need to teach obedience just as much as belief, and that Christ himself gave instructions for obedience to so many people before telling them to simply believe. For example, when the rich young ruler asks what to do to be saved, Christ tells him exactly what to do, and the man cannot bring himself to comply.

It's a lot easier to sit around talking about what you believe than it is to get up and obey. And as many parts of the Bible point out, including James, if you're not making progress in obedience, then your conversion is probably not an authentic one. The important distinction is this: we are not saved by obedience, which would usurp Christ's sacrifice and God's grace. Instead, our obedience is the response to and outpouring of our dependence on God's grace.

Furthermore, teaching obedience will often drive us back to reliance on God's grace, after realizing how hard the act can be on our own strength.

So, I'm afraid I'm putting too much emphasis on belief and not enough on obedience these days. There's a lack of balance. And this is where Peter comes back to mind...

Just before mentioning that inexpressible and glorious joy, Peter mentions that we are chosen according to the knowledge of the Father, through the work of the Holy Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ. We are saved for obedience. Wow. If that's the purpose of my salvation, then I better get my butt in gear...with the Spirit's help, of course. And if you don't believe Peter, take it from Paul, who in one breath says we are not saved by works, and in the very next breath says that we were created to do good works.

Now, there's plenty of careful unpacking to do in these concepts in order to get things in the right order and not put the cart before the horse. Suffice it to say here that, in total dependence on the help of the Spirit and the grace of God, there absolutely must be some obedience visible in our Christian lives.

Another verse in Peter's first hard-hitting chapter catches my eye:

"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart."

Peter seems to make a distinction between the thought of love and the action of love. We know the truth and we lovingly see the people around us as image-bearers of God deserving of our compassion and service. Good. Now go out and do it, he says. You have love for them; now go and actually love them.

For me, someone so strapped down by timidity and always so hesitant to act, this verse motivates, speaking directly to me. Ironic timing, too, as just a few weeks back in a discussion of my spiritual gifts, I decided I in some ways have the gift of mercy, but too often it's limited to feeling mercy and not doing mercy. Peter's exhortation tells me maybe I'm not the only one in that boat.

May the fruit of the Spirit characterize our lives this summer, making us obedient servants of Christ.

(Sorry for the length, but it's good to process!)

I'm going to regret this post in the morning...

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but when you're a teacher who enjoys the kids you work with...

...well...it's just that...that...

...the summer...well...it can get to be...

...it just gets...it just gets...a little...

. . . b o r i n g . . .

...without those charming little unusual twits to smile at you and bug you and entertain you day in and day out.

Ack! I said it! Nonono! I take it back! I love my summer! Wait! No!

Latinos with Purpose

Bella is both a mildly successful little film and an interesting case study.

If you'd watch this movie knowing absolutely nothing about it, you'd finish it mostly pleased. The acting is good, the story is interesting, the cinematography is decent. It's nothing overly enthralling or groundbreaking, but there are plenty of worse indie flicks out there, and this one succeeds in what it does.

But when you find out the backstory to the making of the film, there's a lot more to think about and assess here. The lead actor was a wildly-successful soap opera star in Mexico who was building quite the resume, but after recommitting his life to Christ, wanted to pursue projects with more wholesome messages. The director intended to do the same. Both, as Latinos, also wanted to portray their culture outside the usual stereotypical ruthless bandits, lazy mooches, or steamy lovers.

So, were they successful?

I appreciate the portrayal of Latin culture in the US. They're right, we could use more of it, especially because all of us could definitely learn from their zeal, joy, and tight-knit family that is shown in Bella.

I also appreciate that they set out to tell a real story with real people full of accidents and pain and hurt and mistakes. When Christians set out to make a story, this isn't always a priority in their minds. Or, if it is, they'll conveniently have a perfect and steadfast Christian character come to share the gospel and save the day.

While I don't think that Christians need to avoid things like curse-words in order to make a redemptive movie, I was impressed that such a real, honest, and poignant story could be told without a single curse-word or any other graphic material. In all honesty I think avoiding these things did detract from the story in some small way (and I might have only felt this way because I knew the background going into it), but I was surprised at how doable it actually was.

In the end, something about the film falls a little bit flat, a little bit hollow, a little bit empty. Mainstream critics complain that it was too concerned with its pro-life message and trying to disguise it. The CT reviewer says, "The characters harbor no ambiguities; when the credits roll, we can feel sure that we've learned all there is to know about them." In the end, I think this is true. It's a fine film, but something is missing, and I would venture to guess that it's because the writer/director was focused on something other than simply telling a story.

Sure, he wanted to tell a story, and again, he did a relatively decent job at it. But he wanted to tell a story that was not graphic, that was family-friendly, that was moral, positive, and life-affirming, and that showed Latinos in a good light. Perhaps that's putting one too many restrictions on the story you're telling, and that's what will leave your story hollow.

So, as a case study, is this how Christians should be making movies? It's definitely an interesting approach, and it's not a bad attempt, not at all. This movie-making team shows great potential. If they could take one step back, resist telling the story they want to tell, and instead let a story tell itself and let the meaning unfold from there, I think they'd see much better success. Bella was very close to doing this, and that's why it was a good film, but I think in the end there were too many restrictions placed on it.

Lonely Robots

WALL•E is a film worth your while, not necessarily because it's entertaining and enjoyable, but because it's bold and risky storytelling completed with the utmost of excellence. The critics are absolutely raving, but it's not because the kids are staying entertained for 90 minutes. WALL•E is new, completely unique, a milestone in American animation, both troubling and endearing, not to mention full of meaning.

I can't say I loved it. There were some slow spots, some moments I just couldn't get into, and that would have been all the more true if I were under the age of 10. Because of its genre and premise, it just simply will not be as accessible as the wildly imaginative world of Monsters, Inc. or the underwater excitement of Finding Nemo. And yet, accessibility aside, I could sit and discuss this story for hours. That's what makes it an important film. (The fact that it is somewhat inaccessible yet still quite significant is just one similarity that leaves me comparing it to, oddly enough, last year's There Will Be Blood.)

And like any risky story, it's a little controversial. When one person at church heard I was going to see it, they warned me it was global warming propaganda. I did my best not to roll my eyes or laugh or get up on a soapbox and rant. After reading lots of other similar accusations in the blogosphere and then actually seeing the movie (which always helps before criticizing), I'm forced to simply wonder: what were so many of us doing in high school English class? How are we so utterly inept at handling stories and their themes? (And to Christians, I wonder: if we can't thoughtfully discuss the meaning of a story about a robot, how can we discuss the meaning of the Bible?)

Christianity Today still has the best review of the film that I've read so far. They also have an enlightening interview with the director. Check it out.

But thanks, Pixar, for contributing so significantly not just to the world of animation, but also to, more notably, the world of film.