We can edit that.

We were doing a demonstration with the entire fifth grade for our project on water deficits in the world. The kids had filtered water, now we were purifying it with PUR packets.

The kids were crowded around, I was stirring, my coteacher was video taping for a movie we'll put together of all our work.

The girl in the front said, "Mr. Shorb, you have a rash on your neck.
I said, "No, it's a birthmark, I was born with it."
She said, "No, I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about the red dots all up your neck."
I said, "Yes, I know, that's my birthmark."
She said, "It looks like a rash."
I said, "I was born with it."
My coteacher said, "OK, I'll stop taping here."

Middle school is approaching for some, can you tell? At least she didn't call it a hickey like most true middle schoolers would.

Creating a drug-free America and saving lives, one student at a time.

I always have to chuckle at myself trying to teach fifth graders about drugs and alcohol, as if I am anything close to an authority on the subject. I have no idea what I'm saying, really, other than what this elementary school text book tells me, and I'm always afraid of sounding like the dad on Freaks and Geeks: "You know where he's at now? He's DEAD!" The closest I've come to smoking is having my family accuse me of taking up cigarettes to lose weight.

But it's always very heartwarming and richly rewarding to know I've gotten through to some students. Case in point? This student's closing essay:

Some reasons to not use alcohol are simple to explain. Number one: you see a person smoking. He looks totally normal. But inside his lungs are pitch black because of tar. Number two: A person is drinking in a bar. It is fine to drink a little, but not a lot. Now he's drunk or intoxicated. Two paths are now possible, and both can lead to death -- he falls down on his back, starts throwing up and can drown in his barf, or he goes out of the bar and while driving home crashes and can die. And number three: if you smoke marijuana you probably have hallucinations, that can be deadly. A man was on top of the empire state building, and was so addicted to marijuana, he saw a pack of marijuana falling out of the window, ran to save it, fell off and died (true story). Those are the main reasons why not to get addicted to drugs.


Convincing, isn't it? I'm letting him teach next time.

Gondry's Family

I can't say I'm always completely on board with all of the wackiness that Gondry embodies, but I'm definitely game for watching this.

Um, Yes please

If you don't know the real song, I have a feeling this rendition will sound a bit bland and melodyless. But if you know it, this is pretty beautiful stuff, and impressive as it's not the most straight-forward song. A bit tricky and complex for kids like these to nail so easily. And all of this is pushing me to FINALLY check out Phoenix's music. I have a feeling I'm behind the times on this one.

I'll include the original song here, too:

Thanks to Liz for keeping me in the PS22 loop!

Getting older show-going

Dan asked over lunch about music. I had little to report. Joanna Newsom came up, and I mentioned wanting to go to the double-header-sold-out-First-Unitarian-seated-sanctuary-show. He mentioned the same.

I mentioned wanting to go see Jonsi perform in Philly, but I was waiting for that one to sell out too so that I wouldn't have to bother. And we agreed this has become our typical approach to seeing live music.

Would absolutely love to go, definitely wouldn't regret going, would totally be worth time, money, and miles driven, definitely will regret not going when watching mediocre YouTube footage, but too lazy to make the trip, too cheap to pay the Ticketmaster fees, too distracted to get on the computer and click the "purchase" button, too old and tired to put up with the next-day-sleepies after a late weeknight.

So I wait long enough, and the fact that it's "sold out" becomes a convenient excuse to tell my younger, hipper, more energetic friends.

True confessions.

Rest

I found a slip of paper in my classroom reminding me about chapel the other week. It was the morning I woke up asking God for some rest. Not so much because I woke up sleepy, but moreso because I woke up stressed out and worried.

It was one of those chapels where everyone else seemed just as oblivious as ever, or at least just a bit stiff, rigid, and mindless, and then at the same time, pretty much every word spoken was meant just for me.

The chaplain started by mentioning and paraphrasing plans to prosper you and not to harm you, for a hope and a future.

A student read, "God is our refuge and strength, an everpresent help in time of trouble."

Another read a familiar Psalm, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...he restores my soul...I will fear no evil, for you are with me...your rod and your staff, they comfort me...Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life..."

And then a song accompanying a video: "O love that will not let me go I rest my weary soul in Thee, I give Thee back the life I owe that in thine ocean depths its flow may richer, fuller be..."

I found it easier to rest that day.

Supreme, hold the mushrooms

You know how growing up, you heard one too many teachers/preachers/leaders in church circles complain about certain words getting watered down and losing their meaning? I mean the words that should probably only be used to describe God and his glory. I get it, I really do. But the word they always complained about was "awesome." They heard one too many kids using it too casually and it really ate away at them until they just had to call it out from behind the pulpit.

I totally understand what they're saying. Though I don't lose any sleep over it, I'll even say I agree.

But what I want to know is this: why weren't they ever worrying about the word "supreme?"

I recently heard someone use the word "supreme" to describe God, and my stomach starting growling because all I could do was think about pizza.

Because when else have you heard the word supreme used?

Honestly, I had to go home and look up the word because it had been so tainted and its use that night had startled me so much.

"Superior to all others, strongest, most important, most powerful"

I had no idea. That definitely describes God more than it does that frozen pizza with cardboard crust and fake green peppers on top. And nobody would even bother using the word "awesome" on a slice of that.

Seal Beach?

We chose Seal Beach because of its proximity but also in assuming there would be seals. Turns out, if this beach were actually naming itself according to its wildlife, it would be called Pigeon Beach. Which is just as well, because I'm pretty sure the kid likes pigeons more than seals anyway. I, on the other hand, was a little disappointed.

California

The Shorb Family is visited California this week. Erica is here for work, and it's my spring break, and since I earned a free flight voucher last time I tagged along, I decided to tag along again.

Time in California, I've found, causes a steady stream of random songs to play incessantly in my head.

On the flight out, it was a mix of "California Dreamin'" by the Mamas and the Papas and "California" by Phantom Planet.

Anytime we're driving on the highway, it's "405" by Death Cab for Cutie.

Today we visited the beach in Santa Monica, which inspired "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow.

Bad News and Good News

The Bad News: Half an hour before closing time, toddler in tow, I ran out of gas as I pulled into the Rite-Aid parking lot, and then found out that the doctor never sent the electronic prescription to the pharmacy.

The Good News: The Pharmacist called the nearby CVS and found our prescription then had it transferred, John bailed us out with a gallon of gas, and best of all, the toddler apparently loves the taste of amoxicillin, asking for more, then grabbing the dropper to lick it completely dry.

Again?? Really?? How do they do it??

I never thought these sorts of contraptions existed in real life!

(see also: treadmills, marching band)

Twilight Zone

This morning was one of those commutes where you don't see the cars you normally see, roads seem abandoned, everything seems quiet, and it forces you to wonder where is everyone?/what's happening that I don't know about?/what day is it?/is my clock set right?/where am I?

I secretly kind of like those mornings.

Quick Thinking

A boy walked into the classroom this morning with a perfectly crafted faux-hawk. He immediately announced and insisted that he didn't do his hair like that, but it was from wearing a hat to school this morning. Sounds to me like a classic case of regretting the new hairdo after catching some heckling from classmates. I love it.