i just used a dry erase marker...i caught a wiff and totally took me back to being a little kid, going to church with my dad, and drawing on the whiteboard for hours. and i mean, this wasnt like, just a little memory that the smell triggered...this was like a total flashback actually there again kind of experience.
just took my history test. i think it was probably the first test in my life where i honestly was completely and utterly unprepared. there was honestly no hope on this one. i think it will serve as some kind of wake up call and maybe i'll start trying from here on out. although it was one of those tests where you could study for 10 hours, and not a thing you studied was on the test...lets hope this curve is as generous as he says.
boo for two prospectives coming tonight.

i miss erica.

my friends royal noise brigade are opening for the legendary toasters. woo.

Tom from tuesday's comments, please tell me who you are. thanks.
today is long and mostly miserable. when saturday comes i will be a happy little boy again.
im going to a meeting now and im going to the jumping bean beforehand cuz they have 50% off chai. i think that will be the highpoint of my week. i'd pull an all nighter tonight if i knew i could be awake for my history test tomorrow and if i didnt have to rugrats to take care of tomorrow night.

go to www.twothirtyeight.com and enter the site and click on journal. thats me.

mom if you read this im sending you emails but you're not getting them. so dont get mad at me.

everyone else...dont make fun of me for emailing my mother.

i need to get another computer with nothing but word on it for writing papers. the internet is just too darn distracting. take now for instance...im supposed to be writing a paper..what am i doing? writing on my blog.

me: yeah, erica was in london.
rata: did she say how she liked it?
me: not really, she just talked about how hot the guys were.
rata: yeah, there are definitely some hot guys in london.
me: so now im depressed cuz im not a sexy english guy.
rata: ohhh...but thats ok...you're nate.
me: that's precisely my problem.

for biology today, our lab TA's baked us sperm cookies. it was humorous.

go figure..the second i beg for comments is the second the comments stop working.
just got 2 shots for haiti..i think my arms are gonna fall off.

whats with all these "(0)'s"????? someone please comment on something. jamin???? anyone???

also today in biology, the teacher asked me a question and the answer was rectum. i said rectum rather quietly...and he kept asking "what?" until i was practically screaming it.
i laughed.
why are all the dirty anatomy words the funniest dirtiest sounding words ever? i would list them all..but that would probably make mom blush...or have a heart attack...one of the two.

regarding the fetuses, after some thought...
perhaps....
from a human standpoint, yes, those babies were meant to be born and live their normal lives....
from god's standpoint, i guess, these babies were meant to be stillborn for biology students at taylor university to study and learn more about god's amazing creation.
hmm.

i guess it's pretty humbling when you criticize someone for their attitude or how they act because of something that's happening to them...and then the exact same thing happens to you and you know all to well how they feel.

i will quickly say this.
today in biology lab we learned about reproductive sytem and early human development, etc.
part of it was observing preserved stillborn human fetuses. it was heavy, and tough to do. it was fairly easy to not think twice...to treat it like just some other specimen we were told to study...but then, to stop, and think, about how this tiny human being shut inside a jar, was meant to be a person. he was meant to grow up, and become someone. to play catch with his dad, to go to his senior prom, to go to a college and become a doctor, to get married and become a father himself....and it never happened. i mean, i guess it was all in god's plan and that's easy to say and it's true...but it just seems wrong holding a jar up and studying these little hands that were meant to be held and never were...the tiny feet that were meant to run and never could...
but then to think that i was once that small...what a miracle.
some heavy stuff.
i am one of 6 BILLION people. at this very moment in time that i will never get back i am in the middle of nowhere in indiana...typing at a computer..some feeble thoughts for a few others of those 6 billion to read....listening to a few guys from seattle play a few melodies they wrote in another moment in time whose path i just happened to cross...we are so small and yet we often think we are so big. there is so much going on at this very moment in this huge world. its interesting to think about time...and the people we have come in contact with...and just kinda wonder "why?" "how?" i am so small. and yet it's all in his perfect, sovereign plan. kinda makes everything seem pretty silly.
ok, i didnt mean to get this deep, it just happened. thanks for listening.

it's almost march...does that completely freak anybody else out? man.
i have a lot on my mind and a lot to talk about. who knows when i'll get a chance to do so.

click

sorry for all the posts today. i'll stop.

so there's this homeless guy with a blog...he goes to the library quite often to update it and stuff...it's fairly interesting. anyway...he has a paypal thing setup on his website for people to give him donations...

im beginning to think i should do the same.

so im reading this book for my middle school class called savage inequalities by jonathan kozol. it's pretty rad. its this guy who went around to all these different schools in american cities and how terrible they are - struggling with poverty and segregation and debt and all kinds of crud. it's pretty heavy stuff. the next chapter is about lawndale, the neighborhood where i went to church last spring where a church is really improving the community and stuff. so im anxious to read about that.
i think a lot of times people get caught up with and concerned about third world countries and stuff - poverty and starvation...including myself. and yeah, that is definitely something to be concerned about. but reading this book makes me more concerned for the "third world countries" inside america. the potentially beautiful rose in the middle of the blooming flower garden that didn't grow because it missed the miracle-gro and was squelched by weeds seems more tragic to me than the dry, barren garden.
thats probably a poor analogy, and then again maybe im stupid.

"A 14-year-old girl with short black curly hair says: 'We have a school in East St. Louis named for Dr. King. The school is full of sewer water and the doors are locked with chains. Every student in that school is black. It's like a terrible joke on history.' It startles me to hear her words, but I am startled even to think how seldom any press reporter has observed the irony of naming segregated schools for Martin Luther King. Children reach the heart of these hypocrises much quicker than the grown-ups and the experts do."

sometimes i wonder about the future. i wonder what im worth. i wonder if history is being made in room 438. probably not, but its interesting to think about. i guess it's nice to dream.

disposable security blanket.
when you are secure, maturity is reached, bigger things finally found..
throw me away.
and when your problems are solved, your eyes opened, the world at your fingertips..
forget about me.

last night was a pretty wild night. it was supposed to be me running sound for jason harrod and serene and everything going smoothly.
it started snowing like crazy.
i talked to jared cheek at 3:30, asking what time he thought i should start setting up, we decided on 4:00. he told me jason harrod wasn't coming (something like he didnt have gas money..which is somewhat humorous) and wondered if i knew anyone that would want to play at the last second. i suggested nate, thinking nate would just play some solo stuff since it was such short notice.
it was snowing like nuts. our sound van was getting stuck everywhere, causing us to have to get out several times, shovel around the tires, pour salt down, and keep going. we couldnt back up to all the doors we needed to get to, so we had to carry equipment through the snow fairly long distances and make several trips. it was pretty terrible.
to top it all off the kid that was working with me had never worked sound before ever. so i was trying to train him through the midst of it all.
i found out halfway through setting up that ben, our drummer, was probably gonna come and we were gonna play a full band set like the other night. i was ok with this, but it was just crazy for me trying to do everything for once, and having this kid who never ran sound before behind the board alone.
anyway to make a long story short is was a wild and crazy night. we played ok..it was rough but that was kind of to be expected. serene was amazing. i loved them. it is fun being a sound man when you love the music and you can get the mix to sound really well. i personally thought the levels were great...which was nice cuz doing sound in the union isnt the easiest thing.
fortunately, we were able to leave the sound equip in the union...unfortunately that means going back tonight and returning everything.
i dont like people at taylor when it comes to music. they make me angry. but thats another story.
so we probably got maybe 8 inches of snow...the roads are terrible again...i hate it.
thats all.

As the children drift back to their homes for supper, we stand outside and talk about the health concerns that trouble people in the neighborhood. In the setting sun, the voices of the children fill the evening air. Nourished by the sewage marsh, a field of wild daffodils is blooming. Standing here, you wouldn't think that anything was wrong. The street is calm. The poison in the soil can't be seen. The sewage is invisible and only makes the grass a little greener. Bikes thrown down by children lie outside their kitchen doors. It could be an ordinary twilight in a small suburban town.
Night comes on and Sister Julia goes inside to telephone a cab. In another hour, the St. Louis taxis will not come into the neighborhood.
-Jonathan Kozol, Savage Inequalities

my friend travis had this on his blog. it's funny and sad and true all at the same time. i enjoyed it.

remember what we said when we first met that love is worth the battle. and when you say do you love me well you know i do.

massive update - you know you're excited

1. (talk about the show) the show last night was great. it was a little stressful cuz ben, our drummer, didnt show up til 8:30 as the show was starting and everyone was using his drum set therefore no one could sound check. but things worked out ok. the set went pretty well and everyone seemed to really like it. we sold a massive amount of cd's which was awesome and just got a really positive response. it was a pleasant surprise to have wes and tim paashaus run in as we were about to start. starflyer was pretty good...but they have zero stage presense which makes their show pretty monotonous if you're unfamiliar with the music. the music was good though...the drummer did some especially cool stuff. a fun night all in all. su constantly amazes me and i am so blessed to be playing with him. i thank god daily for music and the talents he has given me and the opportunities. i love it.

2. (being an idiot when talking to rock stars) i wish i was an introvert - part 2
example C
so, the bass player, who is also the man in charge of velvet blue who put out the comp that nate is on, a man who we would like to impress and get to know, just like the indie guys i mentioned earlier, his name is jeff cloud.
i have a friend on sammy 2 named chris cloud. combine the fact that chris cloud is a catchy name that sticks in your head and that both of the names end in cloud and you've got a problem. i got a little confused. i approached JEFF as he was setting up his bass amp, which i had just used for our set.

nate: you need anything chris?
jeff: (blank stare)
nate: you alright?
jeff: um, oh, yeah, im fine, thanks.

i get back to the table and tell nate about my encounter. he said "what'd you call him?" and it clicked. his name is jeff. boy am i an idiot.

3. (math for teachers) i forget what i was gonna say about math for teachers besides the fact that the teacher is terrible.

4. (fiancees) yeah so i saw my friend from taylor at iwu last night. he said "what are you doing at my school?" i went on to find out that he had transfered to iwu this semester. when i asked him why he said because his fiancee went there. im sorry, but if you cant stand being a half hour away from your girlfriend, i tend to think thats a somewhat unhealthy relationship. i dont know. maybe im wrong. but it kinda makes me angry. maybe there's more to it than what i know about. i dont know. whatever.

5. (armpits) so i had sweaty pits yesterday afternoon. i decided to give them a trim again. jamin was brave enough to offer his beard trimmer seeing as how he wont be able to grow a beard any time soon. i kinda slipped and ended up cutting them a lot shorter than expected. woops. they got kinda irritated so i used some aftershave. then i smelled like a medicine cabinet. what a mess. but they've been dry so far today.

6. so you two are probably wondering my reaction to joe millionaire. i havent seen it yet. i think im gonna watch the tape tonight. i somehow...who knows how...made it all week without hearing how it ended.

7. serene and jason harrod are playing here tomorrow night which is exciting. im doing sound though, and im kind of scared to be perfectly honest. hopefully things will go just fine.

8. it's supposed to snow again. boo.

9. i went to get my vaccines for haiti today and wimped out. i had long sleeves on which meant i'd have to reveal my enormous nipples for the nurse...plus i just wasnt mentally prepared.

10. speaking of vaccines for foreign countries...erica left for africa today. i wasnt worried about her until i talked to her today and she told me she didnt think she'd be coming back. as in she thought she was gonna die. welp, that was nice to hear. at least i got to talk to her today...i didnt think i would.

i have so much to do this weekend but im sure it will end up being another weekend where i dont do a darn thing. we'll see.
im out.
happy weekend.

note to self:
talk about the show, being an idiot when talking to rock stars, math for teachers, fiancees, armpits, and something else i cant remember.

one of these days i will realize im just not good at basketball. im a lanky clumsy uncoordinated idiot.

bio is the best class ever. the prof is the bomb. he opened up class today blasting the beegees "staying alive" and proceeded to tell the class that he would be dancing if it werent against the rules and in the 70s he had a white leisure suit with platform shoes and hair down to his shoulders. unfortunately, he refuses to bring in pictures. he makes everyone feel really smart...he does this thing where he pauses to let us answer, but the answers are always obvious so you can finish his sentence and you feel like you know everything. then you get back to the room and you're like, what did i just learn about? he says stuff like "if you have a high metaaa......" and then everyone can yell "bolism!" or stuff like "if you eat too many carboooo......." and then everyone yells "hydrates!" and you say to yourself "i KNOW this stuff! im a genius!" noah claims i repeat everything he says, i say the answer after the prof does...but i swear im beating him to it and im just that smart. anyway.

so my intern interview was rescheduled. for the ungodly hour of 8:00 monday morning. ooohhhh yeah. im a crazy man.

so the PA group interview was the most pointless thing ever. i thought it would be funny if i stayed dressed up, so did yoder and kyle. i was dressed up for my tour and tim, my hall director, told me he'd make fun of me if i was dressed up, so i stayed dressed up because kyle and yoder told me it would be funny. i got there and everyone stared at me. turns out tim wasnt there so he couldnt laugh about it. and no one else thought it was funny. and halfway through the activity justin, my asst. hall director said for everyone to hear "you really got dressed up for this, shorb." and i said, trying to get at least a chuckle, "yeah, tim told me he'd make fun of me if i dressed up, so i did." and everyone just stared at me. it was kind of awkward.

those are my stories for the day.

jason harrod and serene are playing here saturday. woo.

we practiced with ben last night. it was fun.

im out.

my away message: my lack of funny away messages proves that my life just isnt funny anymore.
bryce's away message: oh shorb don't fret you life is hallarious, you play an acordian!!!

today in bio lab our prof put in the beach boys and played them the whole time. that was pretty cool.
i got a good amount of sleep last night...8 hours i think...but i was dead tired today.
my history prof thought it would be a good idea, first of all, to show a video at 9:00 on monday morning. then he thought it would also be a good idea to turn off all the lights, and make sure the curtains were completely closed in the back. quite honestly, i dont remember watching a video at all.
my schedule is nuts right now. i dont mind when im busy, but im so unorganized right now and cant keep track of everything and i dont know whats happening when and im freaking out.
tomorrow i have interviews for both PA and admissions Intern. speaking of freaking out...........................
welp, see ya later.

so i guess pennsylvania has gotten a lot of snow. we have too...but we still have school. i miss the feeling of waking up and being snowed in all day. i dont like school.

i have a problem with my last name. its no secret that the name "shorb" is kind of awkward. this morning in history, a kid introduced himself to me. i was half asleep which didnt help the matter. he said "im nate." and i said "im nate too." and he said "nate what?" (this is where the problem was. i cant say shorb clearly...without sounding like an idiot. it's kinda how coach z says the word "job" on homestar runner.) so i said "scheaoarb." and he said "what?" and i said "scheaodaosrb." he kind of gave me a look, and i had nothing, so i just said "it's an awkward last name." and with that, class begun. maybe it's not the name that's awkward, maybe it's just me.

unmotivated sundays
kyle: sundays are weird.
nate: yep, i've been thinking about that today too.
kyle: (singing) hanging around...nothin i can do but frown....
(nate knows where kyle is going with this and joins in)
nate and kyle: (in loud unison) SNOWY DAYS AND SUNDAYS ALWAYS GET ME DOWN.......

we're retards.

i want to rip my heart out of my chest cavity and put it in a doggy bag and hand it to God.
if only it were that easy.

we went to practice with ben - the guy who plays drums - tonight for our show on thursday. we drove 45 minutes there, waited for 45 minutes, and drove 45 minutes home. he didnt show up. we came back to an email that said "i hope you werent planning on coming out tonight." oh well. hopefully we can get another practice in, cuz we really need it. but yeah, su and i are opening for starflyer 59 on thursday night at IWU. that's pretty exciting. i cant say im a big starflyer fan, but su grew up listening to them, and the bass player is the owner of the record label that put out the comp nate is on. so, it's pretty cool we're getting the chance. come on out if you live in indiana. feb 20th. 8:30.

furthermore, indiana does an absolutely terrible job at keeping the roads clear. and this weather is horrible.

another valentines day has come and gone. big whoop.
ive been running out of things to talk about lately.
i applied to be PA today, which, for you non-taylor folks, is an RA. we'll see what comes of that.
there's some winter weather going on....our window was cracked open and now it feels like antarctica in the room. there was snow blowing in the window, so i figured it was time to close it.
jamin heard iron cobra for the first time tonight. he wasnt impressed. granted, the cd isnt very good, but people, i dont think the songs are THAT bad. i mean, they're a LITTLE bit good. give us some credit.
welp. time for bed.

art
i have been blessed to have gotten both mineral cds and the new further seems forever cd all in a matter of a few days. ive been listening to all 3 over and over again. what a blessing it is to have these artists write humble, worshipful, heartfelt lyrics to their god in the midst of a secular audience, and put it relevant, creative music. dang. it blows me away.

she stepped outside into the morning air to watch the cars go by and let the sun dry her hair i wanted to tell her how beautiful she was but i just stared i sat behind the wheel and watched the raindrops as they gathered on the windshield and raced down into the humming motor and she folded up her fears like paper airplanes and lost them in the trees and i know i don't deserve this: the capacity to feel (to laugh and to cry and to praise) for that i live and breathe and wake each day clean is nothing less than your grace (in awkward and glorious movement).
-mineral

i got the new further seems forever cd. it's good. unfortunately there werent enough copies for jamin. sorry jamin.
visit jamin's blog: http://shorbownsmysoul.blogspot.com
visit jamin's NEW blog: http://shorbstillownsmysoul.blogspot.com

ive had a piece of chex mix stuck in my throat since saturday.
im still sick.
jamin needs to get his own blog.

no exaggeration, i was pretty darn close to passing out in history class today. it was kinda scary. i probably wouldve walked out if i didnt sit in the back row and if the aisles werent really skinny.
today in bio we played with microscopes. we did the whole look at the letter e under the microscope thing....for some reason i was so excited...i was acting like it was some living breathing wildebeast DNA or something. but nope, just a letter e.
im out of here.

well i wish i was an introvert...
ive mentioned previously how a lot of times i wish i was shy.
well, being the extrovert that i am, i find it difficult to mingle with these introverted, shy, moody, indie rockers i'd like to mingle with.

example number A:

scott hatch, man with the plan at burnt toast vinyl. i dont get my mailorder right away, so i email to ask. his response:

scott: ...hey, i see you're in upland. i grew up in marion. i ate at ivanhoes over christmas. hope you're not too bored out there.
my response: (something to the effect of) HEY DUDE! yeah i totally already knew that you grew up in indiana! im like your biggest fan! actually, i found out because you told NATE SU *ahem* who is the guy that i totally play with and we're awesome!!!! you should like, sign us! so thats how i knew plus i saw your parents at the denison witmer show (im so indie) here a few months ago. but dont worry i knew they were your parents cuz denison (i know him on a first name basis) announced it, not cuz im stalking you!!!!! but yeah, its boring out here, but we keep ourselves busy!!!!!! LOL!!!!! KIT! LOVE YA!
scott: (no response)

example B:

matt doty, guitar player for saxon shore, intern at jade tree, man with the plan of broken factory music, etc. i ask for an mp3, he puts up a link for one for everyone. a few months later...

matt: Hey Nate, Did you get the new saxon track ok? Any thoughts? Take Good Care! -Matt

now...let me set the stage here. when we played with these guys...two of them were extremely outgoing and funny and easy to talk to. matt was this quiet little scary indie god that we were all afraid of. so this was a big step. not only that, but he remembered me specifically asking for music a month or so earlier. so, naturally, we're best friends! right? well.......if only i could keep my extrovertedness in check.

my response (two minutes after he emailed which was my first big mistake - indie rockers never respond to email on time): MATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so totally much for emailing! Like, im just so excited!!!!!!! ive been listening to your cd nonstop i love it so much and we loved having you at taylor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway, i never got the mp3 cuz taylor is stupid and blocks mp3s. if you could email it to me that would be so totally sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway, NATE SU *ahem* and i are opening for starflyer!! we are so stoked!!!!!!! what do you think?!?!?!?!? you should so totally like really come out to the show and see us!!!!!!!!!!! that'd be great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how's jade tree, buddy??????????? anyway, i GTG. TTYL. your bud, nate shorb
matt: (no response)

see...these indie rockers need their space. they're like the ferocious house cat...if you grab them and try to pet them they'll hiss and claw and run away to their corner. you just kinda have to wait for them to come to you, and nicely pet them when they're ready, and break them in easy until your best friends.

i'll never be an indie rocker. im too extroverted.

there's really nothing better to talk about..
..so you get to hear me whine about my health. my throat is dry and sore and every time i talk i feel like im choking on razor blades.

im feeling sick. i have an unreliable thermometer from cvs that i think i got for free. i took my temperature 5 times in a row, and it's either extremely unreliable or im getting awfully sick awfully fast. i took it 5 times and got 97.9, 99.1, 99.5, 99.8 and 99.8, respectively. being the mathmatician that i am, i guess that means my temperature is somewhere around 99.22.
i think i'll go crawl into my deathbed now.

it snowed again. i hate this state. where's spring.

there's been a lack of things to talk about. i apologize.

talk about the weather
yesterday it was in the 50's and it was wet and rainy all day. i dont care what anyone says, i love that weather. it makes me think even more about how much i need to move to seattle. thats how it always in seattle. or so i hear. seattle is the best place ever. but yeah, i dont know why, i just love the warm rain...i'd take that weather over snow any day. i had to take the sound van all the way back to the maintenance building last night, and i decided to walk all the way back to the dorm - it took like 15 minutes and i was pretty soaked - but it was wonderful.
then today, i think it's gonna be another nice day, i even contemplate wearing my light windbreaker outside...luckily i chose a sweatshirt...i walk outside, snow is on the ground again, and i get hit by this 45 mph 0 degree arctic blast. this weather is terrible.
so i go in the admissions office to get some coffee, as i walk outside the wind - no exaggeration here - somehow blows the coffee out of the little lid hole and all over my hand. and it froze instantly. ok, that was a little bit of an exaggeration, but the other part wasnt.

last night my father left for guadeloupe at 2 am. i was heading to bed at 2am and i thought of it...i called him at the church and he was just walking out the door. i think he was a little distracted cuz he didnt seem surprised or anything that his son was calling him at church at two in the morning. it sounded like it was a routine thing or something. eh well. maybe it'll hit him on the plane.

found out last night i have to get like 300 dollars in vaccinations for haiti. i think i'll take the risk of dying instead.

there's so much to talk about.

i just sold my physics book for 60 big ones. the kid seemed pretty naive, i probably couldve made it at least 90. kyle and i laughed..he was funny and awkward. when he called me he told me he'd be over in 15 or 20 "min." anyway...this calls for....

highway robbery part 2 revised

Total Amount Spent on Books: $97.25
Total Amount Made on Sold Books: $60.00
Difference: $37.25

Total Bookstore Used Price: $181.25
Total Bookstore New Price: $240.65

Total (Used Price) Saved: $144.00
Total (New Price) Saved: $202.40

by the way
logan andrew shorb
born 4:41, 2/1/03 (just in time)
8 lbs 7 oz
20 1/2 inches

im back at school now. and stuff.