Please excuse an additional post on similar thoughts...

I believe there is something deeper in the story of the disciples that we seem to be skipping over.

We praise many of these men for their tremendous faith, their ability to drop all else and believe immediately. Yet, we see elsewhere that this was often a simplistic, shallow response. It was not based so much on a knowledge of who God is and a deep, true trust in Him as it was simply a blind leap, perhaps even foolishly or ignorantly.

Sadly, I feel that is exactly the type of faith the church often praises and encourages.

In the same way, we pigeonhole Thomas as "the doubter." We talk down about him and scoff his "lack of faith." There may be some truth to our characiture of Thomas, but I tend to believe we've been too hard on him. He was asking questions, seeking a foundation from which to take his "leap of faith." He was researching, seeking wisdom. He was using logic and reason, which are by no means complete enemies of faith. Was he a skeptic? He may have been skeptical, but he if he was a true skeptic, he would not have joined the disciples in the first place, and he would not have believed in the resurrected Christ even after seeing the evidence he asked for.

Also sadly, I feel that is exactly the type of faith the church condemns and discourages.

The encouraging thing is this: Christ did not condemn any of his disciples, whether they believed without understanding or were hesitant to follow. Instead, he was patient, gracious, and loving, giving each one what they needed in order to commit. To those quickly believing, he praised their childlike faith and encouraged them to mature in it. To those hesitant, he gave them evidence and encouraged them to believe.

One approach or personality is not necessarily better or more correct than another; instead, both need a certain amount of refining. How wonderful it is that Christ is willing to patiently, graciously, lovingly refine us!

What's more, each of these approaches to faith, these varied personalities were used to build the first century church. They each had something significant to offer in that first mission of spreading the good news to the Gentile world. Instead of writing off or looking down on an approach different than our own, we must value and encourage one another. Those more logical, rational, and slow to believe will encourage the others to think through matters and mature. Those more childlike in their faith will encourage the others to believe, commit, and follow.

And in whichever case we find ourselves, we must continually cry out, "I believe! Help me with my unbelief!"

Those twelve personalities create such a complex and intriguing mosaic from which we can learn.

(This was originally written in my little notebook while sitting on a bench by the little river in Strasbourg. Erica was asleep with her head on my lap, which made it a little tricky to write. A sketchy looking man came along, and out of the entire, open, spacious, completely free river, he chose to set up his fishing rod incredibly.right.next.to.us close. He continued to inch closer and closer to us, so I scrambled to wrap up my thoughts, then quietly whispered the situation into Erica's ear to wake her up without scaring her. We were on our way shortly, thankfully unscathed. Paranoid? Maybe. But it was slightly odd.)

i drink my coffee stronger now, and think my mug is too big.
i get weird when a store clerk asks if i need help or strikes up conversation.
when i went to pay for something that was advertised as $20, i had a 20 dollar bill ready. he asked me for $21.20 and i was confused.
instead of throwing out our stale, day-old loaf of bread, i tore it up and fed it to the birds.
i eat with my fork turned over in my left hand and my knife in my right hand.
we spent five hours at mark and heather's last night, just talking.
i thought the yogurt selection at the grocery store was awfully limited.
and don't even ask about the bread selection.

I have always taken great interest in the story of Thomas and his doubt. I have often identified with it and appreciated it. God did not condemn Thomas for his doubt and chose instead to lovingly show Thomas what he needed to see. Where the typical Evangelical would condemn any ounce of doubt all too quickly, I have always interpreted this story as meaning God is not bothered by our doubts. But unfortunately, it has probably too often given me a reason to continue on in my doubt and skepticism.

I've often seen myself as full of doubt, and for some reason I've even taken pride in it. Thomas quickly became my hero, especially because he didn't get in trouble.

For me, the point of the story has always revolved around the doubt. And while I think this is an important part of the story--God is patient in our doubts and willing to reveal himself in ways that we need--God never meant to justify a doubting, skeptic mindset. There's another point to the story.

I've realized recently that the most important and profound part of the story is that Thomas DOES believe.

This doesn't strike most people, because most Christians are willing to believe rather easily without asking questions, especially if they are given specific evidence they feel they need. Thomas sees his Lord, feels the holes in his hands, and finally recognizes Christ's resurrection: "Of course!" we think.

But there are plenty of people in our world (and I'm finding I can at times be included in this group) who refuse to believe, even after ample proof is provided. They are truly doubters, complete skeptics. Their minds are made up and they refuse to bend. Many of these people would have seen Christ offering the holes in his hands as proof and would have responded, "I don't believe it...There could be another explanation...What are the others saying?"

It is truly profound, then, that a skeptic like Thomas believed that Christ was the Messiah in the first place. And it is also just as profound that he believed Christ had risen from the dead when he was given proof. We can't take this for granted! For example, the Pharisees asked all sorts of questions and were given all the evidence they needed, but continued to doubt and refused to change their minds.

And so, Thomas's story shows us one important, stark contrast between the Pharisees and Disciples: the ability to at some point or another say, "Yes. I believe."

Thomas did not stubbornly insist on remaining in his state of disbelief, a tempting thing to do for any skeptic intellectual. Instead, he was humble enough to allow his thoughts to be changed when ample evidence was provided.

If the postmodern generation sees Thomas as a hero, may it not be they see him as a doubter and a skeptic. He was not! May Thomas be a hero because he struggled with doubt and was willing to honestly admit those doubts, and more importantly because he was willing to believe and take a bold stance once Christ revealed himself. He asked questions not for the sake of asking questions, but to get the answers and act upon them.

May we admire Thomas because he was willing to say, sooner or later, "I believe."