I'm in an entry-level math class this semester. I am able to enjoy it for several reasons. I can handle the 8:00 starting time after student teaching. I know the math, so it's not exactly challenging. I'm a senior (it's almost all freshman, which is really weird for me) and know what I can get away with and can enjoy it on different levels. I've had Dr. Colgan before, so I understand him and know how to handle him, which takes at least one semester to do.

Dr. Colgan has mastered the humor of awkwardness. I'm still not sure whether he intends for it to be humorous, or if he's just plain awkward. I'm the only one who laughs, mainly because I've had him before, and also because his awkwardness reminds me of me, and I can relate to it, so it's funnier. I've always thought he was just plain awkward, but when I laugh, he looks at me and chuckles (a thank-goodness-someone-is-laughing-these-people-are-so-uptight-and-boring-kind-of-chuckle) which makes me think he might know he's being funny.

tonight i made the only bolivian meal i learned how to make while there. it's called majadito. it's rice and onions and ground beef, topped with a fried egg and fried plantains on the side. it turned out really well, actually. but i think i realized the only reason i really liked the bolivian food was because my meals came so few and far between. tonight's meal really wasnt very good even though it turned out well. when i had it in bolivia, i hadn't had anything to eat all day, and i ended up eating three plate-fulls of it and thought it was amazing. the plantains were disappointing, but i think it's mostly because you probably cant get very good plantains in the states. and at the grocery store, the cashier girl rang them up as green bananas, which were more expensive, but i was too lazy to point out her mistake. you just cant find good help these days.

i get stressed out when i cook.

i hate winter because all it does is makes your skin dry and itchy and your clothes all static-clingy and it's miserable.

hi

not too much since i last posted.

wesley got a button maker and i am more excited than could possibly be imagined. we made buttons for his band two days ago, and "go big red" buttons are in the works for my big 200,000 party. this thing is the coolest thing i've ever seen, and the possibilities are endless. we've got big dreams for his button business, and while many of them could be fruitful, let's face it, you don't make very much money when you're talking increments of 25 and 50 cents.

erica and i are planning on going down to philadelphia today, but erica went in to the dentist at 7:30 this morning for emergency root canal surgery. i'll tell ya. usually shorbs are the ones with a laundry list of odd ailments...if i carry on that tradition as well, erica and i will be one pathetic couple all together. so anyway, hopefully that will finish up soon and she wont be too groggy and we'll be able to continue as planned.

wes recorded a warm electric guitar part for "come thou fount." i'm pleased with the songs i record, but i dont think a single one has been fully completed yet. hmpf. i'm still waiting to round up a bunch of guys on the floor to sing the final verse of 'holy, holy, holy.' yoder, you're gonna help me do that when i return.

i just snagged a coffee table, two end tables, and a unique little round table off the neighbors trash heap. score! and they each had a $15 tag on them from the last yard sale. ha! suckers!

all for now.

this morning i watched salesman, thank you neville. if you are unaware, salesman is the "groundbreaking" documentary that kinda started the now-typical "fly-on-the-wall" type style. and it's about bible salesmen, which can be rather disturbing at times. but anyway, now i am an official documentary fan. i'm not a poser anymore. this is legit.

erica has been kinda really sick lately, and she didn't go to work today because of it, which (conveniently enough) allowed us to see each other a bit and get a bit more accomplished on the wedding-planning-list. unrelated to the wedding, i found a cool little sketch book at dick blick for only 8 dollars which i'm going to make into a polaroid-coffee-table-book and it's going to be awesome. related to the wedding, we made some decisions about tuxedos, which made me unusually excited and is a step in the right direction.

two things about bolivia.

i got an email today from the missionary i stayed with, and there is a bit of unrest in santa cruz (i'm assuming it's all due to my leaving). no, but seriously.........santa cruz is trying to become an independent state apart from bolivia, and there's a ton of strikes going on and stuff. i dont think this is very logical or rational, and i dont even know a bit of the politics involved, but i think it would a little bit exciting to be there and experience what could possibly turn out to be big moments in history.

yuca is an all-purpose-root that is eaten with pretty much every meal in bolivia. it's a bit like a potato, but more mushy in a tough kind of way, and even more bland. a lot times it's fried, which turns out a bit like a french fry. it's really nothing very good, but definitely not bad, either. it basically has no taste. but after eating it with nearly every meal, i grew a little fond of it. WELL, all this to say that, tonight we ate with john and tassia, and we sat at the table, and i saw this stuff that looked like fried yuca, but i just assumed it was little french fry chunks, but no, it turns out it was actually real live fried yuca!!!! and i dont know exactly why, but i was (and still am, really) extremely excited about this. it's silly, i know, but i was excited.

its time for bed, but before i go, you must know that i WAS serious about song recommendations. and destiny's child does not count.

i'm in charge of finding some new people to write for the taylor blogs.

if you know any taylor student, preferably one that is a freshman or sophomore, that is good at blogging, please let me know, because you will make my job a lot easier.

i just spent an hour searching through a xanga taylor u blogring, and after 30 or so blogs, i gave up, deciding there must be a better way to do it.

if you want an experience that will evoke all kinds of emotions, i suggest searching through a TU blogring. lots of bubblegum-ey girls talking about "hanging" with their "boys," lots of guys trying to be all gangsta talking about "homies" and "doggs," a few star wars nerds, and a few theologians preaching legalism. lots of mediocre blog-writing, in general.

apparently xanga allows you to put a song on your site so that it plays when people visit. this is incredibly annoying, especially when you're trying to listen to radiohead and blink 182 or crappy hip hop comes on in the background.

also a lot of people, freshmen, obviously, who are really excited about how wonderful and amazing taylor is. please don't get me wrong, i've enjoyed and appreciated my time at taylor very much, but it is never my first thought to write "TAYLOR IS AMAZING!!!!" on my blog anywhere. my freshman year, it was possible, but i think very few upperclassmen remain without jaded cynicism to muster up any comments like that.

this may be discrimination, but i will not be hiring any bloggers who: have hot-pink backgrounds, tYpE in a MiX of UpPeRcAsE and lOweRcaSe or use **excessive** a*s*t*e*r*i*k*s or little winky smiles for that matter ;), use any music at all on their site, use the acronym LOL, or have a countdown for star wars episode III on their site.

but seriously, if you know anyone who would be a good candidate, let me know.

it's a shame that all the good writers are people who more or less hate taylor and wouldn't exactly be a good fit for a taylor blog.

it's been a while and for that i apologize. upon reaching the past milestone of 10,000 hits, i do want to thank you all for your interest in me and my thoughts and my writing. although, at least 8,000 of those hits are probably my own, so don't be taking too much credit for it. i've never really known the point of having this silly thing on the internet for the whole world to read. it is indeed rather narcissistic. but i am an introvert and this is the way we work i guess and it's probably not always a good thing but perhaps it's just a part of life. what i am trying to say is this thing is more for me than it is for you. and it will be handy when the grandkids appear on the scene some day.

we've got a lot to catch up on, so this might be a little lengthy. i don't like long posts so i will apologize ahead of time. there might be something important in the middle of it though, so if you must, break it up into little pieces and just read a paragraph at a time. ok, jodi?

first things first, i saw finding neverland last week and it was excellent excellent excellent. i'm with jamin, i dont think johnny depp deserves an oscar for this, because although he was wonderful, it wasn't exactly a demanding role. but the movie is beautiful and moving and made me want to be a writer more than ever before. and a teacher for that matter. imagination and beauty and the-love-of-life and everything. i'll admit, i was misty-eyed.

my only complaint about finding neverland is the marital problems. i don't like movies that have marital problems in them, and that little subplot kinda somewhat ruined the story for me, and i think it could have been just as effective and moving without it (your reaction, neville?). i realize it's necessary to have marital problems included in some stories, but affairs and divorces and so on in movies are more disgusting to me than drug usage or violence or cursing or sex or any of the other taboos. (it ruined spanglish a little bit for me, too.) lost in translation is one movie that didn't bother me in that sense, mostly because i didn't view their relationship as an affair at all. granted, bill murray did have a little fling with that bar-singer, and that was unnecessary too, i think, but that's all a different story.

after re-reading that paragraph, i'm disagreeing with myself. all i'm trying to say is marital problems in movies disturb and upset me, and for me, make beautiful movies less enjoyable. i do realize it is, sadly, a fact of life.

i flew home to pennsylvania on friday morning. there were only 10 people on my flight which was kind of fun. i started reading a book for honors history called "how christian faith can sustain the life of the mind" and it's a pretty incredible book that i'm really enjoying so far. i read 60 pages that morning, and for me to read 60 pages of a book in one morning, you know it must be good. it makes me want to do college all over again, or at least do more college later, or least be a life-long learner, which i guess i'm learning is what undergraduate college is really all about.

i am also, thanks to joanna, reading poetry by billy collins, which i am enjoying so very much. even if you hate or don't understand poetry, you should look into this, because by the time i finish reading nearly every poem, i have a big grin on my face. i am a beginner at poetry, but there is no better way to begin than this guy.

we had lots of snow this weekend, at least a foot. erica and my sister were both snowed in at our house which was nice, but things didnt really get too exciting.

we watched "rivers and tides" which is pretty boring but very beautiful and if you like art at all i would really really recommend it. the stuff this guy does is pretty amazing.

go eagles, huh? no choking this year, and i am proud. but the real heroes of the day were all the maintenance men at lincoln field who cleared out that foot of snow through the night. let's not forget them.

so today i am at lydia counseling center for "bring-your-fiance-to-work-day." it sounds pathetic, i know, but when you come home for the week and your fiance works 10-hour days with an hour and a half commute on either side, you've gotta do something about it. basically all it means is i'm forced to get my to-do list done, which is a good thing, and i'm forced to waste time on the internet with a DSL connection. i can handle that.

that's all for now, but here is something very important and i am gonna put it in a new paragraph so that it catches the eye:

***IMPORTANT***
please read below:

I don't think Erica and I are going to waste money on a DJ, because most of the time we hate them anyway, and they are cheezy and expensive. So we're either gonna make mix CD's or a playlist on a computer and work with that (besides the Stanley Saegar jazz quartet).

SO...if you have any song recommendations, or if you are planning on attending and have any requests, feel free to make them here.

and don't worry, once the older people leave, the new gwen stefani album will DEFINITELY be in heavy rotation.

ooo, look, i'm almost at 10,000 hits.

it is martin luther king day, and i promised to myself that i would not write the annual rant. the same rant applies this year as in years past, but if you're interested, you may simply read my january archives.

i did just finish some time at a seminar and it was extremely enjoyable and challenging. dr. massey spoke on the many matters in a humble yet direct manner, with wisdom. they were things, not just dealing with racism but in being a christian, and a courageous christian, that the entire campus so desperately needs to hear. i wish there would have been more people there. as an aside, he boldly said that christians voted for the wrong man this fall, because we were more "conservative" than we were "christian" and we lacked courage. i thought that was very gutsy, and coming from him it was very hard to dismiss.

on friday night we went to fazolis and they happened to be having a fundraiser for one of marion's kid's club things. it was great. there were cute little inner-city kids taking our trash and serving us all you can eat spaghetti. they sang every once in a while, too, and when they started to sing "lean on me" i started right in with them. that got our table singing and clapping which got most of the restaurant singing and clapping along. it was beautiful. how many times does this happen in a restaurant? the people walking in at that point must have been a bit surprised.

i watched coffee and cigarettes on saturday morning and i'm not exactly sure why, but i loved it. it was more a tribute to coffee and cigarettes than anything, i think, and since i dont smoke, im sure i cant fully appreciate it. but it captured the awkwardness of conversation that is the story of my life. highlights were iggy pop and tom waits, of course billy murray and members of the wu-tang clan, and cate blanchett. if i get around to making a top-10 of 2004 list, i think it will make an appearance.

i must go and get some real work done. the wind chill is extremely low and it stings the ears and the nose. i am anxiously anxiously awaiting a flight home on friday morning and over a week off. it's going to be great.

dr. massey was talking about being interested in other people and it made me want to schedule a coffee date for every night of next semester to get to really know people and learn from them. i doubt it will happen but i would like it to so if you are reading this and are interested in a coffee date, let me know. maybe we could throw some cigarettes in with the coffee. just kidding, mom.

it's a beautiful night for a walk (60 degrees, wind, and a light drizzle, who could ask for anything more?) and they come few and far between during the month of january, so at 11:15 i set out to take advantage of it. i'm taking a break in the library.

so during my walk i was thinking about my earlier post about my "maid" mary. and i was thinking about my arrogant prayer "oh lord i dont want to live my life thinking i'm better than anyone else!"

well, i think i meant it, but that's an incredible easy prayer to shout when the "anyone else" you're thinking of is a bolivian who has seen her fair share of hardship and still manages to be one of the most joyful life-lovers and tireless servants you've ever encountered.

a more daring prayer would be, "oh lord! i dont want to live my life thinking i'm better than my enemy, the annoying kid down the hall, my roommate, the person with bad taste in music or movies, the close-minded, the hypocrite, the pharisee, the popular person, the rich kid, the "sinner," the drug addict or homeless man who is too 'lazy' to improve his situation, the gay guy, the prostitute, the white trash child molester (oh, stevie, how you taught me so much!), the christian making money off bad art or self-help books, the christian buying the bad art or self-help books, the third shift steak and shake waitress, the people who treat their maid like a maid, et cetera!"

oh what a daring prayer! the popular bumper sticker is fitting here: "the power of pride." oh, the power of pride indeed.

i'm a hypocrite.

we all are.

i'll keep walking now.

today was beautiful.

first off, it was, by some freak act of nature not too different from the other apocolyptic weather we've been having, 65 degrees out today, and quite breezy, and it was a beautiful break from all the frigid rain we've been having and it was glorious glorious glorious.

in class this morning god used an incredibly boring speaker and two explosions in the sky songs running through my head to answer my prayers. i felt something for the first time in months. (what i mean to say is that i've felt like largeman, from garden state, for the past few months, and today i snapped out of it.) how great is the love the father has lavished on us that we should be called children of god! and that is what we are! i feel loved today and this brings me incredible joy. and in chapel all the hymns rung incredibly beautiful and true. and i was thinking clearly and i was excited inside and it was all just great. i pray he will grant days like these to you as well. i wish every day could be like this, although then i wouldnt appreciate them as much and they wouldnt make me cry in chapel.

jamin and i went filming and saw lots of flooding and it was pretty cool.

theres more but thats all.

in bolivia i lived with a girl named mary. she was 30 years old but she was extremely young at heart and if you asked people to guess her age they would say 18 or 19. she was a housekeeper for the family i lived with, and so she washed and ironed my clothes as well. and she was an amazing person.

frenchy calls mary my "maid" and i cringe every time i hear the word. i realize there is not much difference between a maid and a housekeeper, but the word maid implies such a disgusting superiority (of the person being served, that is), and by disgusting i mean literally repulsive.

i don't want to live my life feeling better than everyone/anyone/someone else. Mary was not my maid for seven weeks, she was my friend, an only friend, a best friend for seven weeks. i hate the word maid because that's what the family she lived with and worked for treated her as. a sense of pride comes with giving charity, a very dangerous sense of pride, superiority, and self-righteousness.

to whom much is given, much is required. sure, her service is what she was getting a home and an income for. but why not welcome a bolivian into your home simply to love them in a tangible way, simply because you've experienced blessings from god and have the ability to share these blessings with others? (but why do i think a life of materialism and financial wellness and worldly possessions is more blessed? i have a feeling the lives of these desperate bolivians who had nothing were much more rich and full of blessing, and they have many more blessings of a different kind to share with us, blessings of a rich life without wealth, if only we'd take the time to realize that, if only we'd take the time to realize americans can actually learn something from people of less privileged countries.) i dont mean they shouldn't have made mary do any work around the house, i just mean, at the very least, they shouldn't have treated her as a maid.

mary may have been thought of as a daughter by her host family, but that pseudo-adoption was definitely one-sided and i think it only stemmed from the pride they had as a result of giving charity. daughters don't have the fear i witnessed. daughters aren't afraid to approach their parents, forcing themselves to remain in their basement living quarters. perfect love drives out fear...i realize this is out of context but i think it holds true in human relationships as well. at least, i think it can hold true. daughters aren't treated like maids.

and i dont want any of this to be slander or malicious talk about the family i lived with, because they were hospitable and gracious and beautiful and i enjoyed them very much. but it's a tricky situation and you can easily fall into some less than desirable mindsets.

oh my god help me! i dont want to live my life thinking i'm better than anyone else! i don't want to have a maid! (or if i have a maid, i dont want to treat her as one!)

jesus sought me when a stranger wandering from the fold of god oh to grace how great a debtor daily im constrained to be here's my heart take and seal it for thy courts above!

see "spanglish" for further commentary.

around 11:00 or so i was feeling restless so i came back to the penthouse.

i sat in jamin's room for a half hour or so. we discussed plans for a possible film fest entry.

i've been sitting in yoder's room ever since. it's 2:00. i'm living the college life again. arent you proud?

so after indiana ice-over 2005, life is finally starting to get back to normal. my roommates and i are finding out just how lucky we are to have gotten our power back on thursday night. there are quite a few people still without power, this being their 5th day of it.

so, it was all a matter of time, but the ice storm gave the newscasters a convenient way to stop talking about the tsunami and the leading stories were replaced with tales of devastation due to going without power for a couple days. i dont know what i'm really getting at. i dont expect news stations to talk only about the tsunami for the rest of our lives, i guess it's just a shame how quickly we forget, and how quickly we are able to forget. and all this sounds quite hypocritical coming from me anyway, because i have largely brushed off the whole ordeal. i want to be upset about it, but i'm not, and i can't really make myself. what's the count up to now, anyway? such large numbers are impossible to wrap your mind around. its all unfathomable and i dont really know what i'm talking about anyway.

we went to muncie alliance yesterday. i'm glad i go to a church that doesnt need electricity or heat to have a church service. why cancel your church services just because you don't have power? that doesn't make much sense to me. although, the MAC caffeine addicts DID bring in a generator so that they could make their coffee. the essentials, you know.

yesterday was a day of rest and i liked it. my left arm is sore from playing the accordion.

i finally got the sufjan stevens christmas songs from chalupa and they are absolutely beautiful. my christmas would have been a lot more cheerful, i think, if i would have had these in my possession then. they are the sound of wonder, mystery, and joy. not many artists can capture that on tape.

i must go. take good care.

it's friday night and the mood is right is jamin clutcher's room. but he's interrogating me about the extent of my love for erica and it's making me uncomfortable and nervous.

where do we start? after days of rain, the temperature started dropping on wednesday. lots of sleet and freezing rain and a day later, we've had 1 day without power, 2 days of cancelled classes, over an inch of ice on every surface imaginable, and supposedly more freezing rain on the way tonight. it's been an adventure and a half.

yesterday we woke up and enjoyed a slow start, then scott, frenchy, and i went out and chipped off all the ice on our cars. scott was using an authentic man-beater club from tanzania, and it was doing a bang-up job of breaking that ice, pathetically cheezy pun intended. he was using that because he broke his ice scraper the night before, and frenchy ended up breaking his ice scraper right when he started that morning too. it was funny. i have a cheap dollar-store ice scraper, and it lasted, so i definitely had the last laugh on that one.

chalupa came out as we were finishing so we went and cleaned off his car too. that led to a rousing game of trivial pursuit, but we were all too stupid to be playing that game and it eventually ended in a stalemate because it was taking so long.

scott and chalupa and i went to see series of unfortunate events. the movie was beautiful and jim carrey amazing but all in all it was rather slow and nothing too exciting.

last night, then, chalupa and i went to the campbells to hang out with everyone else at the blackout party 2005. the first words out of walt campbell's mouth were "you guys are sleeping here, right???" i didnt want to, but i was going to just because he was so unbelievably nice.

but the power came on later so i went home. i was waiting all day for the power to come back on, and for what? i went home and just sat there, the same thing i was doing without power, only now i was sitting there with the lights on instead of the candles lit. electricity is a crazy thing, and it controls us probably a lot more than it should.

today was low-key, finishing all the things i desperately needed to finish. we just got back from dinner at flattop grill which was incredible. i think the last time i ate there was last j-term and it was definitely worth the year-long wait. i ate more food tonight than i have since leaving for bolivia and it was great. i think my 15 pounds will be back in no time at all.

so, now i'm typing on jamin's computer, ignoring him as he watches serendipity. i think i'll go give him some attention now.

one of these days i'll quit writing these pointless play-by-play posts, summaries of my uneventful days, and i'll start writing semi-interesting thoughts and musings again. yeah, as soon as i start thinking again, i'll do that. keep your fingers crossed.

when i dont have the internet in my place of residence, and the only time i can do all the online projects i need to do is when i visit a computer lab or a friend's room, i get really burned out really quickly, which makes me very unproductive, and it's quite frustrating.

after a semester of no classes and 7 weeks out of the country, a semester of basically having no interaction with the college scene, i feel very disconnected from this place. i have a lot on my plate, and while i'm not really stressed out at this point, i just would rather not have to do the college thing at the moment.

i just blew 190 big ones on teacher licensing tests.

scott and frenchy got a kitten while i was away. i love to hate him and i hate to love him. he's a spastic ball of energy and he's putting holes in my jeans already. and he bites a lot. but he is awfully soft and cute.

i need to go grocery shopping, but i don't really want to.

i put chalupa on a mission to download the 3 underground sufjan stevens christmas albums, and it's gonna be a beautiful thing.

everyone's been noticing the fact that i've lost a lot of weight. i didn't eat lunch today because i wasnt hungry. now it's 2:30 and i'm starving.

all for now i think.

i really need to do better with my taylor blog. if you have any suggestions of funny or thoughtful things for me to write, let me know. if you want, i'll just give you my username and password, and you can update it for me.

i need a job.

i wanted to update this again before i left but got swept up in the busyness of things.

erica and i saw spanglish and it was the first movie in a long time that we both enjoyed. erica liked it cuz she's an anthropology buff. i liked it cuz i had just experienced a lot of the same things in bolivia. adam sandler isnt a believeable middle-aged father, but it was still a good movie.

i know there is more to tell you about my break but i forget it all.

the night before my flight to upland i woke up puking my brains out. it was awesome. so on my first flight i got to use a barf bag for the first time. i felt bad for the kid next to me, but earlier in the flight he sneezed pound cake all over me, so i didnt feel TOO bad.

so i'm back in upland and i dont want to be here. simple as that, really.

and it's raining a lot.

and i have a lot of work to do right off the bat, mostly because i procrastinated and i realize that's my fault.

and i need to find a job.

hope you're well. talk to you later.