An Open Letter to the Engineers of France

Dear Engineers of France,

You have done some pretty amazing things for your country. With some regularity, I marvel at your systems of transportation and architecture, for example. But with all due respect, please allow me to raise one concern. I have spent the better part of a day trying to fix my French toilet. I'm sure the flushing mechanism seemed like a good idea on paper, but in my humble opinion, it was poorly executed. Foolish, even.

I will admit that I have seen some worse flushing mechanisms in the United States. But I whole-heartedly affirm that I have indeed seen some that were much better.

I believe it would be wise to devote some attention to these matters. Preferably within the next few days. You are welcome to come to my apartment for a case study and beta-testing.

Sincerely yours.