I'm at Panera, a grande I.C. Spice in hand, free Wi-Fi in front of me, and Hammock playing on my headphones. It's no Marshall McGearty's, but it's about as good as we can do here in Bethlehem. It's a pity they close at 9, a mere 40 minutes from now. There is a reason I got here so late in the evening, but it is too exasperating a story to tell after a day like this one.
Yes, a band called Hammock is playing on my headphones. Jared gave them to me and he recently asked what I thought of them. I ignored his question, because I had only listened to them once or twice on my home stereo and through my tiny laptop speakers, and was very bored and unimpressed. Well, it has just now become very clear that this music was made to be listened to through headphones after long days. It is large and expansive music, immediately bringing images of far off places to mind, making the odd groups of sandwicheatingsoupsipping people around me, not to mention the burden of a long day and miserable job, temporarily disappear. So, Jared, while I'm not crazy about the CD, it's exactly what I need tonight, and now that I've heard it on headphones, I understand why people enjoy it.
Yes, it was a long day indeed, and there was too much to rehash here. I dealt with some frustrating students during one period, and when my time in the room came to a close, I warned them that the teacher taking over would be writing down names for detention. I walked out of the room and heard several girls cheer and clap in response to my departure. I marched back into the room to their surprise, threatened them, and then tried to tell them that they can think I'm the bad guy all they want, but really I'm only trying to help. I tried convincing them that someday they would realize I wasn't being mean, I was only doing my best to help them learn. They didn't believe me, and I doubt they ever will. The next period found me "losing my patience" to put it mildly. I yelled in kid's face rather harshly, so much so that afterwards a girl said, "Damn mister, your face is red."
I don't want to be in a job that turns me into this. This isn't me. I'm not a person who yells in kid's faces. I don't want to be in a job where I'm depressed out of my mind, and yet my coworkers somehow comment on how happy and pleasant I am. (Are they worse off than I am? Or perhaps they haven't picked up on my sarcastic tendencies yet? Or is the Spirit just working that much overtime?) I don't want to be in a job where I am constantly frustrated and where I constantly feel locked in and held down. Is this just a first year thing? I'm beginning to wonder. (And if I can say "I don't want this" that many times in a row, someone explain to me why I haven't started looking elsewhere yet.)
And I knowww that there are only 9 weeks left. But that can only help so much.
So this afternoon Erica and I went for a small walk around the neighborhood. It helped a little; how can this warm weather not? I should've spent the rest of the evening outside, and I have a feeling when I get kicked out of here at 9:00, I'll go for another walk. Lord knows I need it. (The Lord knows I need him; he's waiting for me to realize the same.)
On our walk this afternoon, we were walking through a middle-class-white-collar-quiet-pleasant-and-quaint neighborhood. Up ahead we saw young blonde-haired boy, wearing glasses, a t-shirt, shorts, tube socks and sneakers, sitting on his front lawn. There were toys strewn about; a skateboard, a basketball, and the like. He was enjoying the spring day, lounging back in the grass and reading a book. He completed the scene in this picturesque neighborhood. But as we got closer, we noticed a boom box sitting next to him, and as we got even closer, we heard the sound of some major ghetto thumpin' hip-hop coming from the little stereo, serenading his perfect spring afternoon, somewhat skewing the scene.
Erica and I tried not to giggle on the spot, but it was incredibly hard not to contain ourselves. I mean, seriously, this kid was young. When I was this kid’s age, I was listening to Amy Grant cassettes, not guys rapping about sippin’ on gin and juice.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
He was the smallest man on the football team at 140 pounds, but played like a tiger.
Ad, Erica’s grandfather, passed away this past Monday night. He had taken a turn for the worse about a week prior, and after a short trip to the hospital at the end of last week, he returned home to be comfortable through his final moments.
A recent soapbox of mine has been our response as Christians to these difficult times, our ability to mourn, and our ability to, as Paul says, mourn with those who mourn. Little did I know the opportunity to test what I’ve been preaching would come so soon.
I’ve come to realize that few people are close with their grandfathers these days. While I admire my grandfather very much, I wouldn’t consider myself close to him, and I’m sure many people my age can relate. But Ad was close to Erica, his only granddaughter, and she was close to him. While I don’t think he knew all that much about me, he decided early on that he liked me, and he cheered us on in just about everything we did. All this to say Ad held an important place in our lives, even in mine after only 7 or so years of knowing him. And he was indeed a special man, as you can tell by the deservingly-lengthy obiturary that was written by his eloquent-English-professor brother.
And this was really the first time I’ve experienced death so closely. My mind has been wheeling because of it, with things I won’t delve into here.
And so what does one say? What can be said to summarize a life or the rollercoasterofaweek that ends a life?
And I guess that’s one of the things I’ve been preaching lately. Nothing can be said, nothing should be said, and that’s ok.
And these cycles of life are striking, as during the time we were saying goodbye to Ad, Liz posted pictures of the beautiful little girl to whom they were saying hello; just like on the newspaper website, where the link for obituaries is right next to the link for births.
Ad, Erica’s grandfather, passed away this past Monday night. He had taken a turn for the worse about a week prior, and after a short trip to the hospital at the end of last week, he returned home to be comfortable through his final moments.
A recent soapbox of mine has been our response as Christians to these difficult times, our ability to mourn, and our ability to, as Paul says, mourn with those who mourn. Little did I know the opportunity to test what I’ve been preaching would come so soon.
I’ve come to realize that few people are close with their grandfathers these days. While I admire my grandfather very much, I wouldn’t consider myself close to him, and I’m sure many people my age can relate. But Ad was close to Erica, his only granddaughter, and she was close to him. While I don’t think he knew all that much about me, he decided early on that he liked me, and he cheered us on in just about everything we did. All this to say Ad held an important place in our lives, even in mine after only 7 or so years of knowing him. And he was indeed a special man, as you can tell by the deservingly-lengthy obiturary that was written by his eloquent-English-professor brother.
And this was really the first time I’ve experienced death so closely. My mind has been wheeling because of it, with things I won’t delve into here.
And so what does one say? What can be said to summarize a life or the rollercoasterofaweek that ends a life?
And I guess that’s one of the things I’ve been preaching lately. Nothing can be said, nothing should be said, and that’s ok.
And these cycles of life are striking, as during the time we were saying goodbye to Ad, Liz posted pictures of the beautiful little girl to whom they were saying hello; just like on the newspaper website, where the link for obituaries is right next to the link for births.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
This week and last week we've been giving the big bad PSSA tests. Those are the state tests that let Mr. Bush know how our school is doing.
A 6th grade teacher asked her class what they thought of the test. She asked if they thought anything on the test was difficult. One boy approached her quietly and quite concerned (which is unusual, as this comment would typically be made in order to gain attention from peers). "Miss, my test kept talking about asses."
"About what?"
"Asses."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, miss."
"Well how was it spelled?"
"A-s-s-e-s-s."
A 6th grade teacher asked her class what they thought of the test. She asked if they thought anything on the test was difficult. One boy approached her quietly and quite concerned (which is unusual, as this comment would typically be made in order to gain attention from peers). "Miss, my test kept talking about asses."
"About what?"
"Asses."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, miss."
"Well how was it spelled?"
"A-s-s-e-s-s."
Saturday, March 25, 2006
i was sitting here in the kitchen, stealing internet, surfing from blog to blog, and found this on erik newby's. and it is freaking incredible and you should watch it over and over again like i am doing right now.
This morning I watched a documentary called "Why Should the Devil Have All the Good Music?"
Two girls decided they wanted to make a documentary. They discovered this odd subculture called the Christian Music Industry, and so they decided to make a documentary on Christian music. Knowing nothing about it, they heard about this crazy festival called Cornerstone. So they showed up at this big festival, and started filming.
With it being two random girls making their first movie, it's obviously not very well done. The camera work is sloppy, the sound is rather terrible, and all in all it's pretty amateur. But I still found it to be pretty interesting. I watched it in the shoes of these two girls, who weren’t Christians, who, like most of the “outside world,” support things like abortion and homosexuality and other typical everyday things. Can you imagine knowing nothing about the Christian subculture and then just jumping into a place like Cornerstone Festival? These were some brave girls!
I found them to be very respectable girls too, because even though they probably thought the majority of these people were wackos, they didn’t draw a picture of a freak show. They didn’t cut off interviews at convenient places and didn’t put any words in peoples mouths. They presented things very fairly.
Now, covering the world of Christian music is no easy task.
We’ve got Band A that is making crappy music and trying to use it as a tool to save the lost. We’ve got Band B that is making really good music and trying to use it as a tool to save the lost. We've got Band C who is making music solely for the sake of worship and Band D who is making worship for the sake of a profit. We’ve got Band E that is making mediocre music, and while they might be singing about God, they’re hypocrites just milking the subculture for all it’s worth. We’ve got Band F that is trying to make good art for God. We’ve got Band G that is trying to make good art for the heck of it, or who is rocking out because they consider rock and roll to be their occupation, which is perfectly valid. We’ve got Band H that probably isn’t Christian at all, but for some reason they’re playing at Cornerstone, mostly just for the sake of confusing everyone and causing controversy and getting a little bit of the profit there is in the Christian market. We’ve got bands who like the Christian bubble, we’ve got bands who are trying to cross over, we’ve got bands who started outside of the bubble and like it there, we’ve got bands who have a foot in both places.
There’s a lot to cover. And the more you wade through it all, the more ridiculous it all looks.
There are two best parts of this movie. One is when they are interviewing the singer from Living Sacrifice. His little daughter runs into the room and he picks her up and introduces her. She is probably about the age of 6. He tells her to sing like daddy, and in response, she half screams/half roars, “JESUS!!!!!!” It was really funny.
And the other part you probably have to watch the commentary to catch, but there is a quick shot of some of the audience during a prayer. Many of them have their hands raised. And in the corner is a kind of awkward overweight boy, hands in the air, eyes closed, and he turns his head to sniff his armpit, grimmaces, and goes back to praying. It is very quick and hard to catch, but when you do, it is FUNNY.
I don’t know why I’m talking about this movie so much, because it really isn’t that great, but I guess it’s on an area that has interested me and been a big part of my life over the past 10 or 12 years, whether I like to admit it or not.
There’s more I want to say about something related to this, but I don’t know what to say or how to say it quite yet, so I’ll wait on that.
Two girls decided they wanted to make a documentary. They discovered this odd subculture called the Christian Music Industry, and so they decided to make a documentary on Christian music. Knowing nothing about it, they heard about this crazy festival called Cornerstone. So they showed up at this big festival, and started filming.
With it being two random girls making their first movie, it's obviously not very well done. The camera work is sloppy, the sound is rather terrible, and all in all it's pretty amateur. But I still found it to be pretty interesting. I watched it in the shoes of these two girls, who weren’t Christians, who, like most of the “outside world,” support things like abortion and homosexuality and other typical everyday things. Can you imagine knowing nothing about the Christian subculture and then just jumping into a place like Cornerstone Festival? These were some brave girls!
I found them to be very respectable girls too, because even though they probably thought the majority of these people were wackos, they didn’t draw a picture of a freak show. They didn’t cut off interviews at convenient places and didn’t put any words in peoples mouths. They presented things very fairly.
Now, covering the world of Christian music is no easy task.
We’ve got Band A that is making crappy music and trying to use it as a tool to save the lost. We’ve got Band B that is making really good music and trying to use it as a tool to save the lost. We've got Band C who is making music solely for the sake of worship and Band D who is making worship for the sake of a profit. We’ve got Band E that is making mediocre music, and while they might be singing about God, they’re hypocrites just milking the subculture for all it’s worth. We’ve got Band F that is trying to make good art for God. We’ve got Band G that is trying to make good art for the heck of it, or who is rocking out because they consider rock and roll to be their occupation, which is perfectly valid. We’ve got Band H that probably isn’t Christian at all, but for some reason they’re playing at Cornerstone, mostly just for the sake of confusing everyone and causing controversy and getting a little bit of the profit there is in the Christian market. We’ve got bands who like the Christian bubble, we’ve got bands who are trying to cross over, we’ve got bands who started outside of the bubble and like it there, we’ve got bands who have a foot in both places.
There’s a lot to cover. And the more you wade through it all, the more ridiculous it all looks.
There are two best parts of this movie. One is when they are interviewing the singer from Living Sacrifice. His little daughter runs into the room and he picks her up and introduces her. She is probably about the age of 6. He tells her to sing like daddy, and in response, she half screams/half roars, “JESUS!!!!!!” It was really funny.
And the other part you probably have to watch the commentary to catch, but there is a quick shot of some of the audience during a prayer. Many of them have their hands raised. And in the corner is a kind of awkward overweight boy, hands in the air, eyes closed, and he turns his head to sniff his armpit, grimmaces, and goes back to praying. It is very quick and hard to catch, but when you do, it is FUNNY.
I don’t know why I’m talking about this movie so much, because it really isn’t that great, but I guess it’s on an area that has interested me and been a big part of my life over the past 10 or 12 years, whether I like to admit it or not.
There’s more I want to say about something related to this, but I don’t know what to say or how to say it quite yet, so I’ll wait on that.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
you college basketball fans might be interested in knowing that in order to be sure to fill out a march madness bracket exactly right, you would have to fill out over 18,000,000,000,000,000,000 brackets. that's 18 quintillion, if you were wondering. And that means that even if every single person on the face of the planet filled out a unique bracket, chances of someone getting it exactly right are still pretty much impossible. i tried sharing this with my seventh graders this afternoon. they were unimpressed and disinterested.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
When the one boy told me I had a fresh haircut, I told him my wife did it, and then I messed it up, and then we had to fix it. He said, "You cut your hair yourself?"
"Yep."
"You're too cheap to pay for it?"
"Yeah man, haircuts are expensive," I said.
"Nuh-uh, they're only like 10 bucks," he informed me.
"Yeah, but if you get your hair cut once a month, that adds up to 120 dollars."
His eyes got big. "Damn, mister. I never thought of it like that!" He paused thoughtfully, then shook his head and said, "Man, you're always thinkin' about math, aren't you mister?"
"Of course," I said.
Later in the class, one girl was bragging that her father gets his hair cut every Friday. I made them do the math this time. "How many Fridays are in a month? So how much is that a month? Times 12 months? That's right, 480 dollars a year...almost 500 dollars!" Their eyes got big and round with disbelief. They all seemed to imply that this girl's dad was crazy for spending so much, but she shrugged it off implying that it's a small price to pay in order to look good.
"Yep."
"You're too cheap to pay for it?"
"Yeah man, haircuts are expensive," I said.
"Nuh-uh, they're only like 10 bucks," he informed me.
"Yeah, but if you get your hair cut once a month, that adds up to 120 dollars."
His eyes got big. "Damn, mister. I never thought of it like that!" He paused thoughtfully, then shook his head and said, "Man, you're always thinkin' about math, aren't you mister?"
"Of course," I said.
Later in the class, one girl was bragging that her father gets his hair cut every Friday. I made them do the math this time. "How many Fridays are in a month? So how much is that a month? Times 12 months? That's right, 480 dollars a year...almost 500 dollars!" Their eyes got big and round with disbelief. They all seemed to imply that this girl's dad was crazy for spending so much, but she shrugged it off implying that it's a small price to pay in order to look good.
Monday, March 20, 2006
All the boys at school liked my haircut. They said things like, "Fresh haircut mister! Smooth! Lookin' Good!" All the girls at school hated my haircut, or at least wanted to belittle me and found this to be the easiest way. They said underhanded things like "Nice haircut, Mister..." while rolling their eyes, frowning, and snickering with their girlfriends.
Last night when I was talking to Dan, the words, "Yeah, that's how I roll" slipped out of my mouth. I spent most of last night and the better part of today wondering where that came from. These kids are rubbing off on me.
We spent the weekend on the road. We visited a friend in Charlottesville, VA and hung out on the campus of the Univ of Virginia. It was lovely and it made me wish I went to a real college. Next we went to a wedding in Charlotte, NC. We were almost late for the wedding. I was changing my shoes and socks at traffic lights and putting on my tie as we walked in. We were about 3 minutes late, but luckily it hadn't started yet. Then we drove home. I-81 in NC and VA is absolutely beautiful driving. Next time you take a road trip, I recommend working it into the route somehow.
I need your help and here's the deal. I haven't bought a good new t-shirt in a really long time. And the ones I'm wearing are getting old and stale and annoying. I'm looking to update my wardrobe and I need your help. Please give suggestions. Am I too old to be purchasing t-shirts from my favorite bands? I am considering shirts from the following people/places: Sufjan or Half Handed Cloud from www.asthmatickitty.com, Why? from www.anticon.com, www.mewithoutyou.com, www.pedrothelion.com or one of his shirts from www.jadetree.com, www.anathallo.com, or maybe something from www.secretlycanadian.com...? Slow Loris finally has some shirts posted again, and I've been waiting to buy from her for a long time, but she only has three posted at the moment at www.slowshirts.com. www.threadless.com has a $10 sale right now til Wednesday. Those of you who know me know I have pretty much no fashion sense at all. So, I'm asking you to dress me. These times where I build my wardrobe are very few and far between, so as far as giving your two cents goes, it's now or never. If I'm looking in all the wrong places and band t-shirts are out of style for a nearly 23 year-old, please say so.
Maybe I should stick to thrift-shopping, but I've never been very good at that either. If you send me a good thrift store shirt, I'll pay you for it.
Last night when I was talking to Dan, the words, "Yeah, that's how I roll" slipped out of my mouth. I spent most of last night and the better part of today wondering where that came from. These kids are rubbing off on me.
We spent the weekend on the road. We visited a friend in Charlottesville, VA and hung out on the campus of the Univ of Virginia. It was lovely and it made me wish I went to a real college. Next we went to a wedding in Charlotte, NC. We were almost late for the wedding. I was changing my shoes and socks at traffic lights and putting on my tie as we walked in. We were about 3 minutes late, but luckily it hadn't started yet. Then we drove home. I-81 in NC and VA is absolutely beautiful driving. Next time you take a road trip, I recommend working it into the route somehow.
I need your help and here's the deal. I haven't bought a good new t-shirt in a really long time. And the ones I'm wearing are getting old and stale and annoying. I'm looking to update my wardrobe and I need your help. Please give suggestions. Am I too old to be purchasing t-shirts from my favorite bands? I am considering shirts from the following people/places: Sufjan or Half Handed Cloud from www.asthmatickitty.com, Why? from www.anticon.com, www.mewithoutyou.com, www.pedrothelion.com or one of his shirts from www.jadetree.com, www.anathallo.com, or maybe something from www.secretlycanadian.com...? Slow Loris finally has some shirts posted again, and I've been waiting to buy from her for a long time, but she only has three posted at the moment at www.slowshirts.com. www.threadless.com has a $10 sale right now til Wednesday. Those of you who know me know I have pretty much no fashion sense at all. So, I'm asking you to dress me. These times where I build my wardrobe are very few and far between, so as far as giving your two cents goes, it's now or never. If I'm looking in all the wrong places and band t-shirts are out of style for a nearly 23 year-old, please say so.
Maybe I should stick to thrift-shopping, but I've never been very good at that either. If you send me a good thrift store shirt, I'll pay you for it.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Erica just gave me a haircut she was rather proud of. As soon as she stepped out of the bathroom, I took it upon myself to trim up my sideburns with the clippers. Let me preface this by saying sideburns are something I've never really understood. Either mine grow in differently than everybody else's, or I just don't understand them in general; I missed the boat somewhere along the line. Well, let's just say I misjudged the attachment I was using, and pretty much took off my right sideburn completely, dug into the above-the-ear hair as well, and also somehow gave myself something similar to the lines of Vanilla Ice or Jamin's new style. When Erica heard me spouting Christian curse words, she came in and was nearly brought to tears. Needless to say, the haircut turned out much shorter than we both originally intended.
Another topic. I've been wondering lately, what's the correct response to the knock on the door when you're using the bathroom? Every time I'm in the bathroom, I get really scared someone is going to knock on the door. Sometimes people knock and I completely ignore them for lack of a good response. Pretty much anything you say sounds really strange and awkward. Greetings, such as "Hello!" are just plain odd. Shouting something like "Occupied!" or "It's in use!" seem a little rude or peculiar or nerdy at the very least. "Who is it?" is about as good as an inquisitve "Yes?" and both are out of the picture. "Just a minute!" is probably the best I can come up with, but that makes it sound like you're in the middle of something, rushing to finish, which can become uncomfortable rather easily as well. Suggestions?
No, but seriously, I'm looking for some advice on this one.
Another topic. I've been wondering lately, what's the correct response to the knock on the door when you're using the bathroom? Every time I'm in the bathroom, I get really scared someone is going to knock on the door. Sometimes people knock and I completely ignore them for lack of a good response. Pretty much anything you say sounds really strange and awkward. Greetings, such as "Hello!" are just plain odd. Shouting something like "Occupied!" or "It's in use!" seem a little rude or peculiar or nerdy at the very least. "Who is it?" is about as good as an inquisitve "Yes?" and both are out of the picture. "Just a minute!" is probably the best I can come up with, but that makes it sound like you're in the middle of something, rushing to finish, which can become uncomfortable rather easily as well. Suggestions?
No, but seriously, I'm looking for some advice on this one.
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