Pentecost 4: Source of Grace

He told me of his bout with depression, when life lost all of its interest, all of its flavor.

He said it was humiliating because he'd go to meetings with friends and all of them were smiling and he wasn't. They noticed.

I asked if he was able to read his Bible. "I forced myself."

And he forced himself to do it because the only thing getting him through was his need for God, a tiny thread of hope that he'd lift him out of this pit.

I made the remark, perhaps from my own experience, that it was impressive to me that despite this depression he could still bring himself to go to meetings, force himself to read his Bible, acknowledge his need for God.

He quickly responded, "That was only by his grace."

The response surprised me, shouldn't have, but did. I would probably normally attribute such actions to circumstances that aren't so bad or a person who is stronger than average. And in so doing, I steal glory from God because it's not a couple neurons that aren't as sick as others or a self-discipline that shows up at the right moment. Left to ourselves, we'd hide under the covers all day every day, or worse. Anything otherwise is a gift of his grace.

Galatians 5:15-17 "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do."

Your flesh wants to hide. Your flesh keeps you from doing the things you want to do. So even if you don't want to hide, you will. Even if you want to leave that house, even if you want to open that Bible, even if you want to call your best friend, left to your flesh, you won't.

But the Spirit. The Spirit gives you the grace needed to keep going. It's the Spirit that opens the front door, pulls out the Bible, dials the telephone. If you are able to somehow keep going, give credit where it is due: to the Spirit and his grace, not to yourself or the nature of the circumstances. 

And so today I see this gift of the Holy Spirit as the one who is constantly changing our hearts, bringing about good, gifting us with the grace needed to accomplish God's will in each moment. He is the source of this grace, the source of the good, the source of the fruit we bear in our words, actions, and lives. 

And some days that good, gracious fruit is as simple as getting out of bed the morning we don't want to.